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Kalikiano Kalei

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Member Since: Jan, 2008

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· U S Chemical and Biological Defense Respirators

Short Stories
· Saddam's Toilet, Part 3

· Saddam's Toilet, Part 2

· Zipping Flies with Papa Hemingway

· Searching For Haumea...

· Farewell to Sherlockville

· Down in the Valley--Chapter 1

· First Class, or Guaranteed Delivery?

· The Fruitcake King of Riyadh

· Maile and the Little Green Menehune

· The First (Near) Ascent of Heartbreak Hill

· German Wartime Ejection Seat Developments

· Luftwaffe Air-Evacuation in WW2

· Creating an authentic 2WK Luftwaffe Aircrewman Impression

· The Luftwaffe 2WK Aviation Watches

· German aviator breathing systems in the 2WK

· Ritter der Lüfte: Chivalry in 2WK aerial combat

· War From the German Perspective: A Matter of Differential History

· Recreating Luftwaffe WW2 History

· Film Review: Final Approach (1991)

· Cafe Racing of the 60s: Rockers, Ton-up Boys and the 59 Club

· If women had udders...!

· Five Up, One Down...

· More dirty climbing limericks

· First ascent of Broad Peak!

· Sawtooth Haiku

· Somewhere in my sleep

· The soundless temple bell

· Hearts and minds

· Rabbit gazing at full moon

· Koto-kaze

         More poetry...
· Local Writer Not Slated to Receive Steinbeck Foundation Recognition

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  Left Brain, Right Brain, Lower Brain
by Kalikiano Kalei
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Kalikiano Kalei
•  If women had udders...!
•  Of Rose, as sunset floods the room at dusk
•  Five Up, One Down...
•  More dirty climbing limericks
•  First ascent of Broad Peak!
           >> View all 59

Applied male intelligence, as associated with interactive gender liaisons is an oxymoronic concept. This demonstrably irrefutable fact has nevertheless never been documented as an obstacle of significance to deter absolutely obnoxious amorous behavior on the part of those of the XY persuasion when confronted by those of the XX specificity.

Left Brain,
Right Brain,
Lower Brain.


It has been fairly well established


That the ancient, prehistoric reptile

Had two discrete neural control centers:

One in the cranium and the other

Situated in the lower hind-quarters.

Both were about the size of a pea.


The theory has recently been advanced

That modern man, despite the cursed blessing

Of his reasoning abilities, also has two brains

As well: A rather large and complicated,

Bilateral one, and a smaller but dominant one,

More about which we shall hear shortly.


The former appears to control man’s

Conscious behavior in nearly every aspect

<save one>, while the latter operates on

An autonomous, reactive basis—functionally

Best illustrated in mixed gender situations.


The lower ‘nether-brain’, as it is regarded,

Activates automatically in the presence of a fair

Member of the opposite sex, instantly rendering

All male bodily functions subject to its

Genetically programmed instructions.


I’d like to arrange a limited clinical

Demonstration of this for you, but don’t

Blame me if the experiment gets somewhat

Out of control. After all, the ‘nether-brain’ may

Well be in the genes, but it's in the jeans, as well…


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Reviewed by Rebecca Lerwill 2/12/2008
Well, then let's just hope the frontal lobe can keep up!
Reviewed by Susan de Vegter 2/12/2008
You hilarity is so appealing but the underlying fact is truth and that can get scarey for someone NOT fearless..


Books by
Kalikiano Kalei

U S Chemical and Biological Defense Respirators

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Amazon, more..

  1. Democracy at Work
  2. Over internet-ed...
  3. This is Ed's computer talking...
  4. From the Institute of Word-ology
  5. Sunny Days and Mondays
  6. SUCK...
  7. Smile, Darn It
  8. Mushmouth Kostro...
  9. My Ass Is Grass
  11. Summer Doth Approach...
  12. Reincarnation
  13. A Guitar
  14. Have You Seen Ur-Anus?
  15. Wednesday was 70 Degrees...
  16. Kostro's always pickin' on me...AGAIN
  17. The Toilet Seat
  18. My Good Friday Procedure
  19. Sadie Graylow
  20. Confusion say: Men who play with selves r

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