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Beyond my Control - A Seizure is Close - (IT)
by
Stuart Ross McCallum
Friday, July 18, 2008
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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What it actually feels like when you no longer have control of your body and mind. HORRIFIC!
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It's here again, the sinister sensation of an aura that I know only too well.
Searching for a safe place to lay down as I descend into my private hell.
I shout out loud, "It's happening again," it's beyond my control.
Dropping down heavily, my head hits the floor.
Feeling horrid my mind and body is no longer in my control.
Twitching, shaking, and staring into space--I blackout.
Arriving back to consciousness, all I can see are many pairs of shoes.
I begin to apologize, after whats just happened I have nothing to lose.
Standing up, leaving my pride and dignity back there on the ground.
People begin to walk away, while some glance back around.
No need to feel so embarrassed, I keep telling myself.
Nothing wrong with my state of mental health.
It's beyond my control, I can't stop it.
It, and only it decides, when I will suffer my next fit.......
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Beyond my Control
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| Reviewed by Patrick Granfors |
10/20/2009 |
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| Thanks for the insight into your disorder. Never heard it described in the first person before. Scary. Maybe you could get one of those trained seizure sniffing dogs to give you some warning, but I'm guessing you've probably considered every conceivable option already. Patrick |
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| Reviewed by Mary Lacey |
9/6/2009 |
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Stuart,
I, too, have seizure disorders, and understand those feelings all too well. When I first started writing, out of sheer frustration, I wrote "The Attack", it's no where near as good as yours but I think we're saying the same thing, and no one will ever understand that hasn't gone through it. This sent chills down my spine and tears from memory. God Bless You.
A friend,
Mary |
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| Reviewed by kg cummings |
7/1/2009 |
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| your words pour freely from your head, heart and hand. well done my friend down under. Hugs, Kathy |
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| Reviewed by Sheila Roy |
5/9/2009 |
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Thank you for sharing this poem. A friend of mine always tells me about her daughter-in-law's seizures. She had surgery for a brain tumor. This poem gives me insight on how the daughter-in-law must feel. I'm saddened by the idea of you feeling as though you need to apologize. Keep strong:) Hugs,
Sheila |
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| Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU |
1/24/2009 |
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A clear depicting of an epileptic seizure through this outstanding composition, "Beyond my Control - A Seizure is Close - (IT)".
I salute You, Poet.
In respect,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU |
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| Reviewed by Carol Mitchell |
12/29/2008 |
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Dear Friend,
We all have Seizures in our lives. Seizures just like those beyond your control inflict us all. A seizure could be not being able to pay your bills; or domestic or child abuse.
You are not alone in your grief and your pain. Others who care about
you are right there with you.
Hang in there Stuart. The world would be under seizure without you! |
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| Reviewed by Robert Sheridan |
12/12/2008 |
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Hello Stuart,
Yes, thanks for this offering - well done!!
Best regards,
Lance |
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| Reviewed by Frances Seymour |
9/1/2008 |
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| Wow Stuart, I stumbled upon your site today and I'm glad I did. I've been there and done that but praise the Lord, I'm going on 10 years seizure-free! blessings...Frances |
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| Reviewed by SOULFUL SHEE G. Pulsing In Passionate Purple PassionS |
8/6/2008 |
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And...What a sad feeling that must be
knowing all too well, the sensations you
experience without much warning!
My daughter goes through it too and I'm right there (most of the time)
when I'm not - I feel crushed!
Blessings are in Disguise, and I am finding out, through your heart- Just how wise you really are! Your heart must stay strong!
Hang In!
Always be prepared (the best way you can) as you know Stuart1
I'm sending you warm healing energy, that these moments may cease - and if not, then lessen upon their progression.
WRITE ON! This was written very cleary and stately!
Warmest Blessings of LOVE, LIGHT, and Inner Peace, Warrior Purple Passion Lady SHEExooo
STay Positive! |
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| Reviewed by Suzie Palmer |
7/24/2008 |
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Dear Stuart,
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences through your writing!!
I have a physical challenge too, and I wouldn't be who I am today without it..!! I've written little children stories too..
Our problems are a blessing, gifts in disguise for great evolvement.. showing human strength of spirit through infrequent vulnerability !
Great to meet you here!
Love, Suzie :-D
I'm saving to show a friend who experiences what you share...
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| Reviewed by Michelle Mead |
7/23/2008 |
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| wow, so glad to have read this-you have enlightened us to what it must be like to have a seizure. having health problems myself, i know how hard it is for others to imagine what it is like to be in your shoes, but you did a great job of showing us here. |
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| Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner |
7/18/2008 |
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"Standing up, leaving my pride and dignity back there on the ground..." <---- pretty much says it all.
Why should YOU have to apologize? Because "THEY" are uncomfortable around people with a seizure disorder? (Being around someone who can only make noise, can't see/talk/hear/move makes ME nervous.) You have as much right as anyone to live as normal of a life as you can (such as it is, when it's ruled by a disability).
An excellent write, welcome to the Den, you're among friends.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. |
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| Reviewed by Paul Judges |
7/18/2008 |
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| Very scary |
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