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Jodee C Kulp

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Bed 43
by Jodee C Kulp

Sunday, May 03, 2009
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Jodee C Kulp
•  Grandpa knows I'm a good girl
•  Impatiens In My Garden
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•  OTHER mother
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           >> View all 14

Have you ever woke in a repeated nightmare

Blood dripped down her nose
     and forehead
      it dribbled down her eye as a red tear
and because of her fall
     another line created a cross on her brow
           as her father and I
      met the ER team
      sacrificing a night of sleep

another night
another sleepless night?

Letting go is never easy
        but always necessary for growth
We left her in good hands
        to CT scans and vitals
        and a promised call in the morning 
        that never came from them
               and we departed with
                     her clothes
        while she slept in a gown
        on white sheets
                with heated blankets

She awoke in Bed 43
        cold, chilled
        her title, her name 
once again a memory
     returned as reality
     her clothes orange
once again
        the smells of those who
        use the other beds as refuge
            and home 
            and safety from life
once again
         the words of 
                commitment blared
         snarling at the gates
                for signatures
         this time to be lost
                 for years

How many sleepers 
         in orange 
                on plastic mattresses
         drank their first drink
              before birth?

75% mom,
     at least 75%
We know each other
      in a clanship way
           the others do not see

This is a reality check
         My choice
         My life
One difference

This time
        I left a life made safe
        I am responsible for myself
             I see that now
         I will stay in this whale belly
              these three day
And you will see
   and you will know
who I am 
    not who I was
and soon who I will be
My mother's path is not my path

I surrender.
I finally surrender.



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Reviewed by Z McClure 1/18/2011
Bed 43 - has such intensity and feeling in it! This narrative is like a roller-coaster ride in the dark, but I applauded the ending with my heart. Amazing write, and I just praised the Lord for His goodness.
Reviewed by Jodee Kulp 5/8/2009
My daughter's journey has been hard won - it has been a battle initially to survive as an infant, four foster care placements before age five months, attachment issues, learning disabilities, and finally into the mental health/chemical dependence world - she is a warrior - she IS A STRONG woman! (her mom - jodee)
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 5/4/2009
Such a shame, yet you have a strong will....

Be always safe,
Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat 5/3/2009

Your mother's death and the fact that you don't wish the same fate come alive in your write. Excellent.

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