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Winged-ones Concur
The clutter I call an office abuts a deck
wrens pass from generation to generation
thanks to a mailbox found and undented.
Nailed the box crooked, here they came.
Duck or you'll be nailed and feathered.
(Carolina Wren Wins Stripe in Olympics.)
Green, they ignored. Now Sex Red.
Spring, it's Spring, it's Spring, I interpret.
Get over hear, you twit! Now clean!
Webs, webs, webs. Cheesh! Shells
squirrels let lie, what's new? Your son
forgot to sweep the hou- .to-bleep-to-bleep-
Should put a bug in . .birds have ears?
Still January, warn. Warm is a hoax to
fool. Seeds worm through. Bad scene.
Rain waters hope. On our side,
thought. How is it loyalty turns so
quick? Sun has the power to start.
To-bleep-to-bleep-to-bleep. Can't stop,
like me. Like me, they are content
to pretend. Mean to create!!
Oven or ice floe, early or late.
Nest must be twigged and mossed.
Bugs caught, yawns fed.
To-bleep-to-blee-- Something cuts off
a would-be parent. Maybe flew
like these keys. --Caught on?
Me, I'm still in the dark. Warm, though.
Rain the kind just taps. Playing
taps, don't let on. To-wheeeeeee
(c) Phyllis Jean Green, January, 2006
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| Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) |
1/25/2006 |
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| So many unique metaphors one feels the hustle and bustle as time moves on.. |
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| Reviewed by Tinka Boukes |
1/25/2006 |
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Lol At George.....we birds are a specie of our own...men will never understand how our minds works..bleep-A-bleep!!
Love Tinka |
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| Reviewed by Carole Mathys |
1/25/2006 |
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A lovely offering Pea, we must be on the same wave length, I wrote a piece on birds last night also...always a pleasure reading you! love and peace to you...
Carole |
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| Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU |
1/25/2006 |
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This is a striking composition with ecological-ontologic reality and symbolism. When "Winged-ones Concur" is read, the reader will feel the ignition of imagination on a creative flight.
Reading "Winged-ones Concur {Rev'd to Clarify}" was a learning privilege.
Keep posting, Poet!
Long Healthy Life through a Blissful Living.
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU |
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| Reviewed by Paul Williams |
1/24/2006 |
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Stupendous imagery leaps out of this cacophanous write Pea, aye spirng is coming, time to get busy, busy, busy.
Paul;-) |
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| Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner |
1/24/2006 |
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The imagery in this one sings...pleasant to read (and see). Very, very well done--I love the way your mind works. :) Succinct. No wasted motion or words. BRAVA, Pea!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. |
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| Reviewed by Felix Perry |
1/24/2006 |
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Interesting and a joy to read as always. The birds are so much apart of out lifes and we often take them so much for granted until we do not have them anymore.
Felxi |
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| Reviewed by Constance Gotsch |
1/24/2006 |
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| I like the wrens passing from generation to generation. and the bleep-bleep is like their constant cheep cheep. good job |
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| Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater |
1/24/2006 |
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Hea Baby, you are galloping right on along with Sweetwater! This reminds me of those carrier pigeons now that you mentioned the mailbox in the same breath as the Carolina wren. I went into Library of Sage this morning and retrieved my bird book. YES...there it is, the Carolina wren. Beautiful and full of song like you, my colorful friend, Pea!
Sage |
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| Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green |
1/24/2006 |
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| B'lieve part of the reason George found the original version confusing {thanks, George <3} is that I used present tense throughout. Wondered if it was a mistake when I changed to past re the beginning. Anyway, I revised the 'thang.' Hope it is clear. My friend The Texas Tornado appears to have gotten the drift. . .but then she is a very generous soul. Gives me A's :). ~~ Reckon I'll stand by this. . .for awhile, anyway. B l e s s i n g s, 'Pea' <3 |
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| Reviewed by George Carroll |
1/24/2006 |
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| This is a bleping confusing write. But I'm glad the birds understand it. |
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| Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado |
1/24/2006 |
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pea,
you are like me. when we are on a roll, we ROLL! i did two stories in an hour! LOL check 'em out at your leisure! :)
wonderful write as always; very well done! brava!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your tx. friend, karen lynn. :D |
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