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Phyllis Jean Green

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· Carrboro Poetica

· Above and Below

· Spinning Straw: the Jeff Apple Story

Short Stories
· Scrawny Kid Clerked at Thrifty

· Euceless Laughs, Y O U Laugh {Capice?}

· This is Your Lucky Day by Euceless Liesalot

· Christmas Fax for da Broads in da Audience

· Flashing

· Owner Will Repair Kitchen Floor {flash humor}

· Courting Able

· Amnesty International Pressing for More Anti-Rape Legislation

· Bullying has no Place in a Democracy

· Calling Dr. Mengele, Calling Dr. Mengele

· Show and Tell by Karen Vanderlaan - Review

· Valley of the Shadow by Sybil Austin Skakle - Review

· Courage in Patience by Beth Fehlbaum -- a Review

· Heart Attack Symptoms Differ for Men and Women -- Read and Share!

· If you Have Been Kidnapped or Abducted --A Letter from Someone who Cares

· RICO for Kids - Help Missing Children, U.S.A.

· Reason to Celebrate! {re O N E's impact re suffering in Africa}

· Listen to Your Muse, Then get up an' do Your Thing

· Poem an Inside Job

· Vicks, Flannel, and Great Expectations?

· Rumor January 19, two Thousand Thirteen

· Snow Night with Bird

· Gunned Down

· Shape Shifter

· Fought Tooth and Nail, I Know You {for Ellie}

· Night-Light

· We are Here to Tell You

         More poetry...
· Featured in Creative Thinkers International!

· Second Appearance in Leann Marshall's Sketch Notes

· New Appearance in The Yarn Spinner

· Bullying has no Place in a Democracy Featured at Creative Thinkers Intnl

· Poem to Appear in Sketchbook

· Poems to Appear in Sensations' 21st Century Issue

· In Richard Lee King's The Price of Freedom

Phyllis Jean Green, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

  Careful, O S H A
by Phyllis Jean Green
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Phyllis Jean Green
•  Listen to Your Muse, Then get up an' do Your Thing
•  Poem an Inside Job
•  Vicks, Flannel, and Great Expectations?
•  Rumor January 19, two Thousand Thirteen
•  Snow Night with Bird
           >> View all 483



Some would have us tiptoe on eggshells.
They would make great OSHA rule-writers.
Don't you love their approach to a ladder?
Do not -- repeat, do NOT -- step on these steps!

Okaaaaay.  Maybe I can make a plant stand
out of it.  Of course, I will have to be careful
to not touch the dirt or swallow plant food.
(See it now:  Do NOT stand on this STAND!)

Some of their advice makes sense,
though if you need it, you are in trouble.
Do not glue your eyelids shut
should NOT be something you don't know.

Here are a few other no-no's none of us need
unless we're ten steps short of a ladder:
Do not use this hairdryer/radio/drill underwater.
Do not use this clothesline to bungee jump.
Do not bathe in this battery acid.
Do not . . .enough of this.  I have to fly
somewhere where they sell ladders
that they allow you to climb and a bunch of
caps that are NOT childproof to replace
these other cotton-pickin' deals, then hire
someone to undo the damned caps so I can
replace them.  If anyone knows how to make
a ladder and barrel of caps in an underseat bag,
let me know ASAP.   Diss Gusted


     (c)  Phyllis Jean Green,  September, 2011



:) :_ :) :_ :) :_ :) :_:) :_ :) :_:) :_ :) :_:) :_ :) :_:) :_ :) :_

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Reviewed by JMS Bell 10/11/2011
Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 9/26/2011
There is much humor in this write, Phyllis, but truth, as well. Clever and insightful! ~Hugs, Elizabeth
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 9/25/2011
You make sense, Pea. Thank you for sharing your meaningful wit and humor. Love and best wishes,

Reviewed by Ronald Hull 9/18/2011
I'm with you. Today's kids can't stand behind his Dad like I did, learning to drive that way, and watch a car come up over the hill and hit him in the shoulder, rolling us over. They are cocooned at birth, never let out of the womb, until they rebel and pierce their tongues with unsanitary studs and fill their bodies with drugs, prescription or otherwise, to escape their OSHA childhood--Michael Jackson.

There. Got that rant out. Informative write.

Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero 9/12/2011
Ahhhwww, Phyllis. You cracked me up -- hit the nail on the head! Well done.

Reviewed by Sheila Roy 9/11/2011
Awesome, Phyllis! Loved every word, and I got my laugh for the day:)
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 9/8/2011
Words are "slippery when wet", of course, but your insight is a clearly-directed spotlight in a world of dancing marsh-mist and moonbeams. Sense out of nonsense here! :)) xx
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 9/7/2011
Much of our society lacks common sense, sadly!...Pea YOU are a delight!
Love and Blessings,
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 9/7/2011
I'm a big fan of do not eat the desiccant packet and do not place the plastic bag over your head (except in emergency). Patrick
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 9/6/2011
Whip-smart, your words ... love this, and you, (((Pea))). Brilliant -- I have missed reading you.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by D. Vegas 9/6/2011
Phyliss, Everything turns to 'common sense', and if you don't have that, trouble...Love it!

Reviewed by D Johnson 9/5/2011
Really it.

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 9/4/2011
i so gree!!
Reviewed by Felix Perry 9/4/2011
So funny but sadly so true in a lot of the things...
Reviewed by TONY NERONE 9/4/2011
I did not know you had such a keen humor streak, and I love it. Thanks for making my face hurt. I smiled.
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 9/4/2011
Wonderfully and caustically whimsical!
Phyllis, you are always an authentic and creative delight to read!
Reviewed by Jon Willey 9/4/2011
Ah yes Pea, the "Outrageous Simpleton's Hypocrisy Act". Their credo is, it must be wrong or we wouldn't do it that way! You've taken aim, right between their beady bureaucratic eyes and fired a bulls eye shot into another ludicrous premise. The premise that only government has the intelligence to think and reason for the individual. "Dis gusted" is an ever increasing segment of the U.S. population. Write more of your pragmatic wisdom to share with us. I enjoy it. I bid you love and peace my dear friend. Jon Michael
Reviewed by Richard King 9/4/2011
Now that's what I call a RANT!!! Nice Job Phyllis, thanks Dick
Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat 9/4/2011

I auppoose OSHA does overdo it a bit. Although in my place of work, it's law. Sometimes a pain in the, as grandma used ssy..the place where you sit doown! Loved it!
Reviewed by jude forese 9/4/2011
OSHA and ASAP are incongruous terms ...

a good example of black humor, Phyllis ...

Books by
Phyllis Jean Green

Carrboro Poetica

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Above and Below

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Spinning Straw: the Jeff Apple Story

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  1. Coming apart at the seams...
  2. Hungry
  3. From the Institute of Word-ology
  4. Ah, Shucks
  5. Sunny Days and Mondays
  6. Kostro's always pickin' on me...AGAIN
  7. Democracy at Work
  8. The Mailmans Motto
  9. Free Falling
  10. Dillbert Pickle
  12. Sadie Graylow
  13. Lack of civility...
  14. Over internet-ed...
  15. Interaction
  16. Just Around The Corner
  17. Mushmouth Kostro...
  18. A Guitar
  19. My Good Friday Procedure
  20. $

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