not confused
just a bit frustrated
being loved and at once hated

not enough lies
not a sophisticated
enough disguise
not a big enough prize

not confused
just a bit frustrated
being kept and at once traded

standing here
with my discretion
wondering whether it was some transgression

not quite a broken heart
just an apparently
false start
not torn apart

just embarrassed at myself

what made me think
i was special
that someone could love me
for me

it's stupid
and irrelevant
it's shameful
it's arrogant

the sycophant
or the victim i can't be
cause i'm free

so it's easy to ignore me
to ignore the thing you fear
to hold dear
someone who can hurt you
or avert you when you're fucking up

it's easy to reject me
cause you don't need to protect me
i can handle the pain
i can stand the rain
i may need
but i don't bleed

for no one
not even you
and that's what you need
a woman to do

to cut herself
or to cut you
to bash you
to trash you

to pretend to believe you
then leave you
to make you cry
so you feel alive

to lie to you
to steal from you
to hurt you
then to heal you
or rather dull the pain
that makes you insane
something for you
to be addicted to

to trap you
and to slap you
to be your everything
and nothing less

and this is why
i'm just your friend
cause i don't pretend

not confused
just a little bit tired
just a little bit tired