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Finding Words

Sometimes when confusion
Echoes deeply in my being
My heart dodges expectation,
And my body feels like fleeing.

Disorder clouds my intellect
Self pity reigns supreme,
Instead of going with the flow
I try to swim upstream

My thoughts are mine and mine alone,
The words just will not form
A jumbled mass of syllables
Kicking up a storm.

No tears will come, though not for want
Arid feelings chafe inside
A torrent behind a dam of hope
The floodgates all but dried.

The weight of burdens buckle
My capacity to gather thought,
I search within to find emotion,
Words to fight the drought.

Confusion darts unbridled,
As each new word returns to dust
I try to harness thoughts long past
Experience I must trust.

Desire has no influence
In my quest for happiness
Oh how I wish my heart would change
And cure my lifelessness.


S.A.C
February 2002