AuthorsDen.com  Join (free) | Login 

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Diana Estill, iEileen Granfors, iMark Seltman, iBurton Wolfe, iGerald Grantham, i WhiteWolfSpiritBear, iJill Eisnaugle, i
  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Mark M Lichterman

· Become a Fan
  Notify me of new titles
  added by this author.

· 1,765 titles
· 5,376 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
·
Member Since: Jun, 2008

   Sitemap
   My Blog
   Success Story
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

Books
· Becoming

· For Better or Worse

· The Climbing Boy


Short Stories
· BK1: Becoming; 1944#5

· BK1: Becoming; 1944#4

· BK1:Becoming;1944#3

· BK1:Becoming;1944#2

· BK1: Becoming; 1942#2&1944#1

· BK1:Becoming;1942 # 1 (Xrated)

· BK1: Becoming; 1941#2

· BK1Becoming: 1941 #1

· BK1:Becoming; 1940#3

· BK1: Becoming:1940#2


Articles
· A Jewish Boycott

· Betrayal in Benghazi

· Did You Know?

· The 2000 Year Old Man

· Social Security History

· Lost C. Burnett Skit

· THE CANDY BOMBER

· J. Carson as R. Reagan

· The Pale Blue Dot

· Listen Old Timers


Poetry
· Really, What If

· Words, I Need Words!

· Sex Now

· Smoke in The Wind

· Young

· Elderly Woman

· As Man And Woman

· Without A Woody?

· Nostalgia

· A Near Christmas Day

         More poetry...
News
· For Better or Worse now on Kindle

· Becoming Video Trailer

· Book Fair. Who's coming?

· Article in Ventura County Star 8/17/08

Mark M Lichterman, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

  At My Age (Humor)
by Mark M Lichterman
Friday, April 30, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

Share   Print   Save Become a Fan


Recent poems by Mark M Lichterman
•  Words, I Need Words!
•  Really, What If
•  Sex Now
•  Smoke in The Wind
•  Young
           >> View all 410



At My Age

 

So

let’s see...

At my age, now,

so,

so what’s so different?

Well...

There’s more salt in my hair than pepper.

An’ I still walk, uh...

kind’a straight

‘cept now an’ then

I get this hitch in my getalong.

Memory...

Uh, what was I saying?

Oh, yeah!

My memory ain’t much worse

then back than when I was...

Uh, what was I saying?

Yeah, I still remember stuff

like...?

Oh, yeah!

I remember,

uh, where’s the toilet?

it’s there...

There?

Then there’s teeth.

Teeth?

Well,

really there’s good an’ bad here.

Bad ‘cause bubble-gum don’t work so good.

Good ‘cause I don’t have toothaches

no-more.

An’ I’m not all that much heavier

now than when I was...

Okay,

so they say

as women age their stomachs go to their butts

an’,

so they say,

when men age their butts go to their stomachs.

Okay, so my butt’s slipped front-side

so now my belly’s like where my butt

used to be,

an’ my butt’s...?

hell I don’t have a butt no-more

‘cause my butt’s where my belly use’t’be.

What else?

Oh, yeah,

I see stuff far away

but not so good close to me.

sex

Huh, what’ch’ya say?

Sex!

Sex, yeah...

Always thought

when I stop thinkin’a  sex’ll

be the time I’ll be ready for diein’.

an’ as I ain’t ready to be diein’

I’ve become kind’a like a deranged

kind’a chemist thinkin’...

Hummm?

If I take a half’a’ one those almond colored pills in the mornin’,

you know that pill that’ll maybe’ll give me a four hour erection...

hell, we...

my lady’n me’ll settle for a twenty minute erection.

an’ I take one’a those blue kind’a pills an hour before,

maybe it’ll work an’ we’ll...

hell you know!

Oh, yeah,

an’ I almost always gotta pee.

 

 

 

 


mmlichterman.com


Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!




Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald 4/13/2011
Smiles!!!! Loved it Markie
hug
kathy
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 5/6/2010
oh my...seems I am having visuals about all this medication :)

"Iíve become kindía like a deranged
kindía chemist thinkiní...
Hummm?"

not to worry Mark you're not alone
it's not deranged :)

Vickie


Reviewed by Carole Mathys 5/2/2010
What a hoot, Mark its like the old saying goes, growing old is not for sissy's...everyday surprises you with a new, shall we say twist, just when we thought we were in control of this aging thing. (smiles)
Well done!

Carole~
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 5/1/2010
Hilarious!!!! Great job Mark!!!

Anna (chuckle)
Reviewed by Rose Rideout 5/1/2010
Yep, that's life through n through. I know all about that salt in my hair, and my stomach well it's going somewhere as I don't have a big butt it must have gone straight to my boobs lol. But hey I'm not as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was as Toby Keith says in his song. Great one Markie.

Your #1 Newfie Friend Hugs XOXOXO, Rose
Reviewed by Felix Perry 5/1/2010
Sounds like life to me...lol
fee
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 5/1/2010
Drilling come to mind! (LOL)

Georg



Reviewed by Paul Judges 4/30/2010
Very good poem, Mark !
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 4/30/2010
"aní I always gotta pee"

...you ain't the only one, though you ought to try a foley catheter, and though I don't like it forever, it is nice to sleep all night through and not have to pee constantly...LOL, ED
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 4/30/2010
Much amusement here my friend. An' like they say a four hour erection might lead to Mr. Potato Head and his famous sprinkler system. Patrick

Books by
Mark M Lichterman



For Better or Worse

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Kindle, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




The Climbing Boy

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Kindle, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




Becoming

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Kindle, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..



Popular
Poetry
(Humor)
  1. If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2. Dillbert Pickle
  3. I Downloaded A Virus
  4. Like His Mother Used To Do
  5. Somebody Blinked
  6. Confusion say: Men who play with selves r
  7. I Am So Bored...
  8. Naughty or Nice...
  9. My Big "Schlong"
  10. See what happens when you leave your child
  11. Dear Santa...
  12. Yeast Infection...?
  13. If women had udders...!
  14. Saving paper
  15. Milk
  16. UGG BOOTS ( UGGIES)
  17. Dementia is Contageous
  18. Georgie Porgie
  19. Nite Quill
  20. Confusion say: Man who scratch ass should

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.