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My muse nudges me from time to time to lighten up, so...
That ear-to-ear warmth
once born of the tooth fairy
so long ago
with impish surprise
you revealed your caress
I did curse you once though
or three times
I don't know
so many curves you did reveal
cut short by my fear
Then you popped up on my towel
just hanging there
Even as the dampness of rushing
stretched you downward
you managed to dry your tears
lift your threads upwards for joy
Pulling me along until
I once again succumbed to
your healing of dreams
once of nightmares
I know you're there
In the gleam of a river's flow
the crackle of a fire
the sparkle of a sky
I just have to look
beneath the pillows
of my darkness
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|Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather
|it is annoying when your told to smile when you want to cry. It never worked for me!|
|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|Smile though your heart is breaking... Like the unmistakeable great gash of red on the clown's white face, you know it's there if you try or if you look very hard, like recovering the plastic bouquet from the hidden depths of Coco's yellow-chequered overcoat. Yet we are faint from overcoming when it DOES surprise us, as you say, in a flow, a crackle or a spontaneous sparkle whose naturalness takes us unawares. I DO love the way you have ended this, as it were, back at the beginning with perhaps the magic of the tooth fairy: really! :)) xx|
|Reviewed by Diana Legun (Reader)
|If you look at this poem as though it was a flattened cigar band (strip of paper) and bend it into meeting end-to-end, the words "...my darkness" are shoulder-to-shoulder with the word "Smiles" (title), which then makes the band a contiguous circle of life-- dark, light, dark, light -- a pinwheel of yin yang that spins in the turn of events and becomes various shades of gray. Gray, in that case, isn't a bad thing. . . it has the good mixed in.
I like "the dampness of rushing." It fits nicely with my terms rushmania and rushinator. "lift your threads upwards for joy" gave me the image of a marionette smile. "cut short by my fear" adeptly reveals the elusiveness of joy, such that it is hiding under a pillow. But that isn't so negative as it is 'universal human condition,' in my vision, because it IS under the pillow. ~~ DIana
|Reviewed by John Flanagan
|..if this is lightening up...nuff said;
it's your way of seeing and evaluating
that truly matters and you, Odin, never disappoint
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
|Underneath that pillow of darkness you will find who and what you are looking for . . . And you may not like what you find. Yes, Odin, you did lighten up, but in the end there was the dark.|