|Reviewed by Patrick Cassidy (Reader)
|I like it just the way it is. Nice piece|
|Reviewed by michael
|You have me already thinking on the ending so clever... Very well done..Please keep wriutting.. All the best..|
|Reviewed by Marilyn Seray
|Reads fine to me Angela. You have a great poem here!|
|Reviewed by Mari Laureano (Reader)
|I agree..the second verse is too vague to get a sense of the impact you want on the reader...Ms. Lucas-Taylor is right...the heart knows when it is done...**Mari**|
|Reviewed by Amor Sabor
|The poem has got great potential, although it is a bit confusing in its direction (to the reader) and can use some finishing for clarification.
|Reviewed by Faye Enno (Reader)
|Good thought provoking write here...
|Reviewed by Drkman
This is a great idea that just needs a bit more development. Witha bit more finishing this will be turly wonderful
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|It's too deep for littl' ole me, Angela.|
|Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson
I think the poem is fine,
but I would change ( Blessed with the vision)
to Blessed with a vision...
If I haven't told you
Have a Wonderful & Prosperous
|Reviewed by richard poor
|i think you have a good start here...|
|Reviewed by Brittany Renée
|The ending was perfect. Sometimes you want to add more on but remember "Less is more," okay? ;) Great ending. It does have a good effect.
|Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
|Your first verse is perfect. Your second verse needs a little more work, to keep the rhythm of the first. The last two lines especially. I fuss with my lines for months to get them just so. You will know when it is finished, and then you'll read your work a few years down the line, and fuss with it again. You have talent, so never give up. The beauty of poetry is...the heart knows when the lines are perfect.
|Reviewed by Jeremy Vaeni
|I agree with Tien about the last lines and would add this question: If we all can see everything then what is everything in between, wherein we forget true meanings? In between what? Everything IS everything, right? So there would be no in between.
Hope this helps!
|Reviewed by Tien Avielle
|I think the last two lines confuse the intended message (implies all eyeless people would be of great vision and wisdom which wouldn't be true) - the rest are fine (-:|
|Reviewed by Anwer Sher
|a good poem. a few suggestions here and there just e mail me please|