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Farid Gul

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What to wait for?
by Farid Gul
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Not rated by the Author.
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On the way back to my land
walking over what remained - a debris of the past
I see hundreds of people
all going eastward......
offering Jinaza of a 12 years old boy
Killed in a bomb blast
fitted at his school....
people reciting Istaghfar (forgiveness)
particles of dusts
like a chemistry of attachment
following the procession
as if they too want to follow them
or invited for the Jinaza!






I can not find any one to ask: who killed my Pashtun brother?
what wrong did he do?!!!!!!!
or was he just one of the many to suffer?
I have no answer
I am on my way
towards what I don’t know!
shouldering his dead body to the graveyard.....
shouldering his past
and future.

O' my self:
my poor self where are we now?
O' our fate
poor fate, what else will you bring for us?

Grieved as I am
I see his father in his mid-40s
looking older than his age.
His black shawl
around his body
his head downward
trying to hide his tears.

He puts his dried hands on his daughter’s head
to console her
tell her that one day he will come back
from a beautiful journey
like a young man.

"Why me, why him, why us?" she starts crying
brother, brother, come brother
take my toys, my pencil, my notebook!!!
take everything from me...
fight with me!
but come brother!!!

Her eyes of a princess
asking for answers
I look for answers too
I am hoping, I may get one.
In a while
I see a Mullah standing up
long hennaed beard
Kohl in his eyes
starts reciting
the holy verses!
from the Holy Book!
Waqatilo fe sabi-lil- lahi (And kill in the way of God)
and I get the answer....

A devilish smile in his eyes
heaven within reach......
feeding his dying embers
with the blood of a 12 years old child!
poor God knows, how many to follow?

I am helpless
deeply anxious
and shocked
Our Almighty God
who is everything – as the Mulla of my Mosque once said
is powerless now
a feeling
I experienced never before
am I becoming a heretic?
or lost faith in God?
or his justice?

The devilish hands
that were stained with my brother’s blood
will be washed in the river soon
sacred River.
When people will go back to their houses
through their windows
in the midnight
they will see
the dark sky
with fire
another story will begin
another story will be witnessed...
streams of blood will start to run in the street
of innocent people
young and old
women and children.

And songs of drunken soldiers
showing their bravery
waving their bloody flags
in their bloody camps.

And my treacherous leaders
in a moment of generosity
bestowing them with Medals!
and I am wondering!
what to wait for?
who to hear then?
when everything turned out well in the end!

(Farid Gul, 25th March, 2009, London)
(In memory of a 12 years boy who lost his life in a bomb blast in Waziristan. His only sin - that he was a Pashtun and born in a region which is part of a great game since long)

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