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Lara Croft

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Member Since: Before 2003

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The Dance
by Lara Croft
Thursday, August 15, 2002

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Recent poems by Lara Croft
•  Lies And Satisfaction
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           >> View all 14

Another hangover, another mistake
Trying not to wake him
I shift my position in the bed
(Whose bed?!)
To try and see his face
Last night I fucked this man
And now I can't remember what he looks like
Nor even his name
I think it's Mike, or Mark,
Or fucking Herbert for all I know
I finally get a look at his face
And thank God that I won't need to
Chew my arm off
I need a drink
And a vague memory of gin
Forces me to silently slip from his side
(Must be his bed)
I find the gin, and a bottle of warm tonic
And I mix myself a drink
I sit quietly in his living room
Deciding that getting drunk
(Again)
Is the only thing that will
Get me through this day
Without opening my veins
I gulp my drink, then pour a stronger one
"What the hell are you doing here, girl?"
I ask myself
Not with anger, but with defeat
I know why I'm here
Because last night was Saturday night
And this has become my habit
Spending Saturday night
In the arms of a stranger
Who makes me forget for awhile
Who I am, and why I'm underachieving
I can pretend for a few hours
That I have someone to share my life with
That I matter to someone
Until the sex is over
And the self-disgust, the revulsion
Begins to pour in
I hate what I'm doing to myself
It's sick and I can't stop it
I'm punishing myself over and over
For real and imagined transgressions
It doesn't help, you'd think I'd see that
But when Saturday night rolls around
I know what I'll be doing
The same dance, only the partner will change.

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Reviewed by Linda Hill 8/15/2002
Awesome poem with such heartfelt
imagery and sadness. You express
your feelings so well .
Reviewed by Josephine Bohen 8/15/2002
man you sing a sad song.
glad your posting.
josie
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