A Wish for Natalie, Our Shining Star
by C. G. McGovern-Bowen
Monday, April 02, 2007
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Life has dealt a stunning blow to my clan. My beautiful niece has just taken her life. She was in her late twenties and closing in on her hard won dream of completing a doctorate degree (in psychology, of all things).
We thought she knew that her clan loved her, unconditionally, and that we were very proud of her many accomplishments.
She has left behind a void of anguish, regret, disbelief, and yes, some anger.
Through our pain, her Grammy M. and I managed to pen the following clumsy, but heartfelt, message to her, "out there" in the Cosmos...
Greetings Dear Natalie
So, you have left the planet, dear sweet child.
True enough, though beautiful, Mother Earth can be a harsh mistress, and you certainly bore your share of it, and did so from a tender age...
But you were also armed with many gifts; not the least of which were your sweet disposition, compassion, intelligence, and a singing voice like an angel...
Leaving behind a troubled childhood, and strengthened by an adoring husband, you went on to quickly build a life of such bright and shining promise!
And yet, for reasons that may never be understood, you chose not to complete your dreams...
Why so, beautiful Natalie...?
Bereft and anguished, we meditate on your fatally wounded Soul, and pray that your journey into that sublime cosmic sanctuary awaiting us all, will be a gentle one, very gentle...
Please say "Hello" for us to your uncle, the Honorable Brian Paul and to your grandfather, Charles Leo... Won't they be surprised to see you! Our heartfelt hope, dearest "Doc" Natalie, is that you find blissful peace and nourishing guidance out there...
And if your immortal Soul should choose to reincarnate back here on planet Earth, or anywhere else in the cosmos, we wish for you a wonderful new adventure; one filled with Light, Love, Happiness, and utter Fulfillment!
So we say farewell, for now, Little "Tweedy Bird"-- as Grammy M. reminds us you called yourself when a wee child.
We love you, and will hold you deep in our hearts--always.
Ride on Shining Star!
Copyright 2007 by Carolyn Gale McGovern-Bowen.
All Rights Reserved.
04/02/07, Westlake Village, CA.
Evil Seed: Gaia vs. the Human Race
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|Reviewed by Sharon Jordan
What a loss. Natalie's beauty shines through your words, your memories. I send you love and prayers.
|Reviewed by Leslie Wright (Reader)
|You do not know me Carolyn, but I was a classmate of Natalie's. This past summer I was in a feminist psychotherapy class with her. I was always impressed with her poise, maturity, and intelligence. She was so beautiful and kind, as well. She seemed to be so pensive~ still waters run deep. I can honestly say that she made an impression on the 6 people in that little class. I know I will remember her always.|
|Reviewed by William Bonilla
|Peace be with you Carolyn
And may my prayers comfort you
My sympathy To you and family
Love & Peace
|Reviewed by Arianna Reyes (Reader)
|Natalie was known to me as Professor Mcgovern, as I was one of her students at AIU. I feel every word as you do! I feel I had no chance to say Good-Bye and just that hurts. The whole class is in disbelief and sorrow. If there was just something we could have done or do to have have changed the pass? She was full of life and a motivational speaker. Always letting us know we could achieve anything we wanted to. I will always remember her words and knowledge. She inspired me to be a better person and women. I find myself in lost of words as a rain of tears come down my face. Always know that her life will still live within the people she had contact with, and that we all have taken a piece of her.
I wish your family lots of peace and Love...God Bless
|Reviewed by Butch Howard
|I cannot begin to imagine the pain and anguish the death of this young lady has caused you and your family. I am glad you decided to share this letter with us. I think it helps to say what is on your heart, even though I know the pain of losing her will never go away. Don Henley wrote a song about a woman who ended her own life due to post partum depression and conveys as your beautiful letter does, the heartbreak, frustration and anger he was feeling. These lines are particularly moving to me and I want to share them with you:
"Maybe just a good nights sleep
Would have changed your troubled mind
From that rather permanent decision
So tragic, so unkind....
And the seasons keep on changing
And the wind blows hot and cold
Wish that you were here with us to watch this tide
As it ebbs and flows
Damn it, rose."
May God comfort you and your family today and every day and give you strength and peace.
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|This hits very close to home, Carolyn. Please accept my sincere and deepest sympathy. Love, peace, and strength to you,
|Reviewed by Jorge Padilla (Reader)
|Natalie McGovern was my Psychology professor. Ms. McGovern was and will continue to be a very inspirational and motivational remeberance. She always quoted:
"The greatest achievement was at first and for a time, just a dream."
Thank you Ms. McGovern, I will continue with my path to achieve my dreams.
|Reviewed by Brett Moore
|I think your letter is beautifully written and lucid, which is hard to do in a time of great pain. I have lost a loved one to suicide. The range of emotions are just like you said, "anguish, regret, disbelief, anger". It sure helps to have others around to go through it with. You'll be in my thoughts.
|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|I am speechless, Carolyn. And I am in awe of your deeply-felt words wrought from the crucible of pain and confusion, yet with conviction and with deepest respect for the personal choices and personhood of your dearest Natalie. Death of a young one is hard and something we all hope we never have to experience within our midst... even more so when taken by their own hand. All I can say is that it seems to be the case that all other families who are stricken by this event seem to share this common lack of knowledge or true understanding. I pray for you all in your suffering and most of all that you don't seek to look for answers to the unanswerable questions within yourselves or your actions. I know that some of the most brilliant young minds are just plain wracked with a complete sense of futility when they measure and reason the logic of life as we now know it. Happily, most of us can reconcile ourselves to the muddle, but some just can't. May you each and everyone of you find peace... and especially Natalie. Bless you and thank you for this amazing personal write. We are privileged to share with you in this. Love, Kate xx|
|Reviewed by jude forese
|such sorrow and grief ... those who suffer the most are the ones who must deal with the aftermath of this extreme action ... i sorrow for you and your family ... hopefully when she returns she will have learned from it and will move on and find peace ...|
|Reviewed by Carmen Ruggero
|Suicide brings much sorrow to those close to the person. My heart goes to you and your family. But I must tell you, this very touching offering comes forth from a very courageous spirit. It is filled with love and gratitude for her life. Yet, I know it hurts. I'll hold you, and family, in my prayers.
|Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
|So sorry to hear this, very sad and painful time for all of you. I will keep you all in my prayers.
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Oh Carolyn, my deepest condolences and prayers to you and your family!!
So sorry for your loss and what pain you are going through right now!!
|Reviewed by Dawn Richerson
|many prayers, Carolyn. I'm not sure I have as many words. the words you have shared serve only to lift up and make way for peace. love, Dawn|
|Reviewed by Uriah Fields
|Is it less honorable to die by suicide than by any one of many other "cides" by which a person exits mortality? When death is caused by a sudden self-inflicted act or acts we call that suicide. But are not prolonged self-inflicted acts that cause death suicide? particularly acts that are self-destructive. How great then is the number of people who choose to exit mortality by suicide? These questions are asked each person because each person has the only answers that are relevant. Ultimately, the question is: "Was it t a good death?" Again, it just maybe, that only the individual can answer that question about his/her own death. It seems that sometimes the good die young.
Carolyn, I extend my love to you and those you love---who loved and continue to love Natalie. For love knows no limits. It is eternal.
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|Such a sad time for you all! I pray you will find peace as you go through this trial. I think some people feel more deeply pressured too succeed than they should, and it causes fear that can lead to what your dear niece did, Carolyn. You have my deepest condolences and prayers, suicide is very hard to understand for those left behind. You reached out with beautiful koving thoughts to her,thank you for sharing.
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
|Heartbreaking; you are in my prayers, Carolyn! God be with your family during this sad time!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :( >tears! <
|Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater
|It's not fair, this loss...peace be with you and your family, Carolyn...Blessed Be.
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|So very sorry to hear this heartbreaking news, Carolyn, and our thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire clan.|
|Reviewed by Georg Mateos
|They said that if you deeply loved someone you don't need to mourn because they never die, they continue on living in your heart.
But the pain is there, thriving in the raw wound.
Kind words are prescribed.
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
|(((HUGS))) and prayers--I'm sorry for your loss. :(
|Reviewed by Susan Sonnen
|I am so very sorry. I pray for your comfort and the comfort of all who loved her.|