by Katy L Walsvik
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Rated "G" by the Author.
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I stand 5 feet tall
I never pull punches
When my brain becomes fried
I go with my hunches
But lately, and sadly,
I've lost who I am
Even worse, and quite true
I did not give a damn.
I was forced to admit
That I, too, can be broken
Those I work for ignored it
Then, a raise (a mere token).
Mental illness surrounds me
More and more that I love
Are in torment, in pain,
I questioned myself,
Can I help? Am I sane?
I dropped out, turned off
Reclusive was I
Unplugged my phone
Did nothing but cry.
But enough! That's not me!
I'm a solver, not weeper.
Life will not keep me down,
The real me goes much deeper.
My height may be short
But I've truthfully given it
And my life is intact
I should know... I'm now livin' it!
The past few months have been very difficult. Outside myself, even those who know me best saw nothing unusual... and that was part of the problem. I showed them my very best "me" but, when alone, I was crumbling... breaking apart. I couldn't write, I could barely think. I stayed in the house for days at a time, if I didn't need to go to work or comfort, care for or humor someone worse off than I. I love them with all I am... but I forgot to do for myself. I'm not complaining... I don't do that. So I've crawled out of this, I'm back. It's interesting how smart, how perceptive, how full of the right answers we are when it's "somebody else." So I sincerely thank you for caring, for not forgetting me... ALL of you. That is immeasurably important, to know other's sincerely love you. (smile)
Ok... (dusts off hands) let's get some chuckles going, shall we? I disagree with Dan Quaile from long ago, who said, "the mind is a terrible waste of time." Sigh... that's just silly! (grin)
Thank you for being there, AD folks. You were always in my heart... will always be.
I'll read again very soon... that is MY pleasure.
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|Reviewed by Bill Grimes Jr.
|Stand tall and keep writing Katy....It's amazing medicine.....
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|Thank you for sharing you gift of humor and wit. Love and peace,
|Reviewed by Joseph* OneLight*®
|Good for you Katy! Your wonderful gift of humour is just what the world needs.
Blessings of Love & Light,
|Reviewed by jude forese
|they say good things come in small packages ;)|
|Reviewed by Marilyn Seray
|i've missed reading your poems, Katy, but glad to know that youre feeling better. You havent missed a beat with your poems|
|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|Now lookey here, Cookie.... you and me is twin peas in a pod, Darlin... the Twin Kakes... fruitcakes.... Kates, I mean. In fact, although I in no way want to undermine the dust and ash of your past few months, I am noddin along as if I am readin my own testimony in so many ways... if not "of the moment", I have bin there or am headed there in some shape or form. But even the way you have dealt with it is so like me, too... yep, no-one knows there's even a funny-bone out of place until we end up on some critical list somewhere... tis just the way it is with us, innit?? But from one Kate The Klown to the other, just you holler and shout in MY direction if you have any DESIRE to blow the whistle and ACTUALLY let it all just hang and have the screamin "What about me!!!!!!" ab-dabs if you jolly well want to... you hear??!! I can't bear fuss either... but there's only so much our 5-foot physical frames are capable of bearin, right??... On us own, that is. Any chance I can hop on a plane and come visit later this year... once all my Mum's affairs have been settled and I rediscover who I am?! Think I might do something mad on the back of all this grief and plan a riotous trans-Atlantic trip... with or without The Boy Turner. Well, this is just me goin off like a rocket in probably the most inappropriate direction... but then Katherine Wheels are like that, ain't they?! You gotta Soul Sista in me, Katy... that's if you are really in need of another fragmented alter-ego to deal with!!?? Be good to yourself, like you are to the rest of us. YOU are worth your weight in gold, Dumpling... keep up the BodyBuilding!! Konfetti Kate xx|
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|Boy did that great little poem dissenigrate into the real you? Like they all say, thanks for sharing! You had me wondering.
|Reviewed by richard poor
|you've been in my head? i wish i wrote this,but you did! too good!!!|
|Reviewed by Tami Ryan
|Ah, Katy... I understand this much more than I'm willing to admit and have been 'there' more than once. I went through a very serious time of it - just what you describe - a few years ago. One of my 'best' poems was born when I came up out of that space. (go have a read if you like: The Color of Life)
I've thought of you (and missed you!) numerous times and thought perhaps you were off promoting your book. As recently as a few days ago, I intended to send a message to your message board, but I've been caught up in a few glitches of my own and never followed my hunches. I'm so sorry I didn't do that.
Awwww, Katy... you are SO loved! Welcome Home!
Love n hugs,
|Reviewed by Sherry Heim
|Katy, I have missed you and wondered why you suddenly disappeared. I am glad you grabbed your boot-straps and got yourself back into a forward motion, it is wonderful to have you back!!! I hope all of your reserves are refilled and that each sunrise brings a strong sense of empowerment to you.
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|Katy thank you for sharing. Funny how our family and friends can't see us when we have needs if we are the ones that they always turn to with theirs. It makes it hard to have to carry the weight ourselves. I know this feeling all too well. I'm so glad you're out of it. I always keep you in prayer and hope Creator will continue to lighten your load,and increase your great smile. Love and hugs to you dear Katy!
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
|You are ever in my prayers, Katy; this is one courageous write! God be with you as you recover your sense of self, I believe in you!
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :(
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
They say Dynamite comes in little packages. :) You'll be back, stronger than ever--I believe in you.
If you need me, I'm as close as the message board. :)
Powerful, heartfelt admission and write.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
|Reviewed by Ed Matlack
|A stronger person of short stature I have rarely known,
In an emergency even though I don't fly, to you I would have flown,
You are well worth all the happiness & best,
So onward and upward, continue your life's quest...Ed & rufuz
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Thanks for sharing Kate!!
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
|Dan Quaile, huh? LOL You haven't missed a beat. Thank you for coming out of that crap. Stay out of it. Yeah, easy for me to say, huh? There is no way to keep you down. Welcome home.|
|Reviewed by Connie Hinnen Cook
|You started my day out right with a chuckle: "the mind is a terrible waste of time!" This piece is thought-provoking. One must take care of one's self if one is to take care of others. Hang in there, Katy!|
|Reviewed by A PAX
I think if you are alive, have all your facilities, and commune with hummanity, you will have reactions like yours. We cannot live in a shell and not take on other's sufferings. We human beings are sponges for emotions. Especially for those we love. Our flesh and blood. Everyone has a breaking point. Some backs stronger than others, but no one is invincible.....So your feelings and reactions are nothing sort of being a caring human being.
You are alot like me I see from reading this.......(and here I thought I was the only one)
Maybe we could form a club!!!
You poem is a delightful, comic, spirtual band aid........for not only your own inner spirit.......but those that read and relate..........
que buena chica!!