My life was wrapped around the world
That's when I first met the Lady Tattooed
I met her in France, she was a Paris sight
Spent the night together, she was in the
nude - took pics, used up my memory card.
Ah, the Lady Tattooed, she was the most
divine creature I had ever laid my eyes on
over and over again, whenever she danced
for me, I went into cardiac arrest, it was ok
though, she gave me French mouth to mouth.
She had tiger-like eyes that made men swoon
And a bod that wouldn't quit, it was a relief map
and an encyclopedia from A to Z all wrapped up
in one, when God made women, he saved her
for last, perfectly created, then broke the mould.
She was the Queen of Tattoo, on her back was
every famous battle and shipwreck, you needed
a strong stomach and your sea legs just to enjoy
the view, had every world flag, even the Red, White
and Blue, could get them to go down at sunset.
You could learn a lot from studying her, so much
in fact that when you were done four years later
she gave you a B. A. in History, and when she
unrobed, you got a Sex Ed degree, could even
learn mountain climbing by studying her breasts.
In the evening, when her muscles started relaxing
Up San Juan Hill came old Teddy, complete with
guns blazing, and when she showered, you could
see Niagara Falls, complete with a guy going over
in a barrel, as I watched, wished it was me.
On a clear day you could see Alcatraz Island, could
even buy a ticket and take a sight-seeing tour, on
her thighs was Buffalo Bill twirling his lasso, along
with Annie Oakley firing at targets while riding in her
saddle, on her arms were paintings by the masters.
Then one sad day for me, she was swept off her feet
by a Rear Admiral if you know what I mean, liked
spelunking, went deep in her cave, had lots of kids
All born with Menza IQ's, Mr. and Mrs. had quite a
fleet, envied all navies, lived happily ever after!