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Regis Auffray

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Member Since: Sep, 2002

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Books by Regis Auffray
Limericks XXXl
by Regis Auffray
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Regis Auffray
•  Ostrich Ride and other Tales
•  Miss Understood
•  Petrichor
•  Limericks XXXVII
•  My Hands
           >> View all 359

More limerick nonsense and perhaps a little humor...


Get a Load of This...

There once was a wizard named Wiz
He often took what wasn’t his
His magic grew stale
He wound up in jail
Now he’s out of the wizardry biz

A lad by the name of Bayrock
Loves to sing “Home in the Rock”
His voice strong and fair
His notes rise in the air
He can be heard all over the block

There once was a gal named Alexis
She fought in battles of the sexes
She lost some at the start
But then she grew smart
She began to use hexes on her exes

There’s a gal in this town named Bibi
Her cat comes if you call out Phoebe
Though that’s not her name
She still plays the game
Bibi lets Phoebe fly the Seabee

There once was a kitty named Blue
Many thought that he had the flu
But that was not why
He was so very shy
He simply had sniffed too much glue

A fellow I know bought a suit
I think it was made out of jute
The colours were mellow
It was red, green, and yellow
He looked like a large bowl of fruit

There once was a fellow named Kirk
Some folks thought he was a jerk
The reason they said
He’d not make his bed
And refused to do any work

I know this woman named Marian
She is a fussy librarian
She paces around
And if you make a sound
She turns into a real barbarian

I know this fellow named Andy
Is quite addicted to candy.
He’s got a sweet tooth,
I tell you the truth,
Andy’s always got candy handy.

There once was a fellow named Toby
He had an abode of adobe
He was of simple means
Wore faded blue jeans
He lived on the edge of the Gobi


© Copyright 2012 Regis Auffray

 

 

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Reviewed by lois christensen 8/22/2014
Laughin all through these, bringing smiles with it.
Reviewed by Nicola Ward 1/14/2013
Very fun and enjoyable to read.
Reviewed by Ed J. 5/6/2012
Very humorous and amusing. I had almost forgotten wbhat a limerick was. It's an almost extinct art. Thank you

Eddy
Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci 4/18/2012
Regis,

I like this type of poetry. Its' fun. This would be fun to set to some Scottish tune and to sing in a pub.

Jane
Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald 2/18/2012
I love these!!! thanks for sharing them and making me smile
hugs
Kath
Reviewed by Connie Faust 2/12/2012
I love limericks! Quite an array of characters here, but I think I like the Wiz best of all.

Connie
Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather 2/6/2012
this is never nonsense ...makes me smile (although, the librarian part true and scary)......very fun. Morgan
Reviewed by Sheila Roy 1/27/2012
"...sniffed too much glue" lol. Nice, Regis. Hugs,
Sheila
Reviewed by E T Waldron 1/25/2012
Regis, you really are king of the Limerick! Thanks for the smiles;-)
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 1/25/2012
Wonderfully whimsical, Regis!
Reviewed by Joy Hale 1/24/2012
You are the King of the limericks; I always smile and relish each and every one you write.

Joy L. Hale
Reviewed by karen logan 1/24/2012
Regis I do believe you are the master! I really love this. Thank you for the laughs.Karen
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 1/24/2012
Many chuckles here Regis. Thanks for the smiles. Patrick
Reviewed by JMS Bell 1/24/2012
YOUR LIMERICKS ARE 'ALWAYS' GOOD AND 'ALWAYS' ENJOYED BY ME. THANK YOU, REGIS AND MUCH BLESSINGS. LOVE AND FAITH...
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 1/23/2012
Toby and jute-suit man sound like they'd be great roomies! Colourful and full of energy as always, Regis! Slick limmericks are your very best tricks! :)) xx
Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 1/23/2012
You reign supreme, King Regis! I love the fella in the fruit suit best :) Thank you for the smiles! ~Love and hugs, Elizabeth
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 1/23/2012
LOVED them all, Regis!!! Thanks for sharing such lively, fun writing...you sure brightened up this drab winter day....

Hugs,
Anna
Reviewed by Diana Wiles 1/23/2012
Just what I needed today such well written fun!!.. I used to be a Librarian, but thankfully not like Marian..!
Best wishes, Diana...
Reviewed by Ann Marquette 1/22/2012
You are so clever Regis. Thanks for the smiles.
ann
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 1/22/2012
Great fun from ther Limericki Master......You go, Regis.

Chip Bergeron
Reviewed by Janna Hill 1/22/2012
And what a load it was. Thanks for the smiles.
:) Janna
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 1/22/2012
I found myself adding lines to every one of them. Always full of great laughs. Thanks for sharing.

Ron
Reviewed by RWE SAYS BYE 1/22/2012
This poet I know named Auffray
Never at a loss for what to say,
makes exquisite rhyme
most all of the time.
Yes, with words he has a way!

Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger 1/22/2012
Your limmericks are humorous and oh so funny !
thank you for the giggles ! :) Lady Mary Ann
Reviewed by Vivian Dawson 1/22/2012
He/He to what you make of names *Regis*
with stories told in such a witty way!!!

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by jude forese 1/22/2012
excellent limerick, Regis ... your humor and cleverness are indeed a gift for all ...
Reviewed by Carolyn Red Bear (The Bear Paw) 1/22/2012
Reg, I always enjoy your limericks. You're a pro at them! Thank you for the smiles....

In Spirit,
Bear
Reviewed by Amber Moonstone 1/22/2012
Reg,
I just don't know how you do these...they are so awesome. I don't have that kind of sense of humor I guess. Another fine limerick from the King of Limericks...Nice job as always!
You bring a smile to your readers, I love that about you.

Peace, love and light,
Amber
Reviewed by Laura Fall 1/22/2012
Delightfully written indeed Laura
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 1/22/2012
Now that is a 'load' of fun, fun and fun...thanks for the smiles~
Reviewed by Paul Berube 1/21/2012
Super, regis.
Reviewed by neerja gandhi 1/21/2012
heeeheeheee.....just soo terriffficc
After quite a long time got the lauhgs from our 'limerick-genius' Happy New Year :)
Reviewed by Morgan McFinn 1/21/2012

What a delightful piece of fun! You just put a smile on my face to start out the day.
Reviewed by John Domino 1/21/2012
There now does exist a man named Regis Auffray,
So fine I hear he does the French kiss straight away,
From personal experience I donít know what can be,
But when with his favorite Goddess had to go take a pee,
He canít be seen in public, as a part of him he cannot show.
Why the I am writing this, I don't really know.
But he is a good guy and a poet full of fun.
So God bless you Regis you are a million to one!
Amen
Reviewed by Sherry Heim 1/21/2012
Another page of fun. Thanks, Reg. Question though, is there really adobe near the Gobi???? ;)
Take care.
Sherry
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 1/21/2012
There now does exist a man named Regis,
So fine I hear he does the French kiss,
From personal experience I donít know,
But when with his most favorite Goddess,
He canít be seen in public, as a part of him does outwardly growÖ
Reviewed by Mary Rincon 1/21/2012
Very Creative ,
Very Creative .
Reviewed by miss choos 1/21/2012
You are so clever!
Happy 2012 Regis.

BTW I'm coming to Canada this year...put the kettle on!
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 1/21/2012
Haha! Authors Den's genius of the naughty (sometimes) limerick has struck once again. Great stuff, Regis!
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