AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Mike Hartner, iKen Brosky, iPatrick Granfors, iGrant Dickinson, iNickolaus Pacione, iIolanthe Woulff, iRosemary Patterson, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Steve E Ralph

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Messages
· 118 Titles
· 537 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

Steve E Ralph, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.


Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Historic storm a bust...
  3.  For Rent…Christmas Angel for Shoveling Sno
  4.  Nuts
  5.  It's All About Timing
  6.  The Golden Years...
  7.  Naughty or Nice...
  8.  Like His Mother Used To Do
  9.  I Am the Center of the Universe
  10.  Somebody Blinked
  11.  Nite Quill
  12.  The Land of Sandra Dee -- Anonymous author
  13.  If women had udders...!
  14.  A Christmas Angel just for you…
  15.  Saving paper
  16.  Ideal Man – Ideal Woman
  17.  Confusion say: Man who scratch ass should
  18.  Confusion say: Men who play with selves r
  19.  Milking a Cow
  20.  Unemployment (Satire)



Feud
by Steve E Ralph

Sunday, January 29, 2012
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Become a Fan

Recent poems by Steve E Ralph
•  By George
•  The Wanderer
•  A much Better Man
•  My Brother Jac
•  Catching Smoke In A Net
           >> View all 116

Now my Daddy’s learnin’ weren’t so good

But he always tried the best he could

His major failing was that he loved to feud,

Why he hated the Petersons up the bluff

And he couldn’t cuss the Jacob clan enough

Some days it seemed that’s all the man would do,

 

Well at the summer fair, if we’d attend

Pa’ and my brothers would hunt for them

And re-enact the civil war again,

You see the Petersons and the Jacobs clan

Had been with the union to a man

While my ancestors where confederate, in the main,

 

Though there was a distant cousin that wore the blue

That’s not the kind of thing we do

And that side of the families name is never heard

Now I don’t know, perhaps it’s me

My acorn fell far from the tree

But I find all this feuding stuff absurd,

 

Now I admit some folks are not my taste

And some I find a waste of space

But I don’t really hate a living soul,

But Papa’ he’s another kind

Once he gets it in his mind

There’s a feud to fight he’ll never let it go,

 

Now uncle Jed and auntie May

Well I gotta’ tell you there the same

And even there two boys can hold a grudge,

Well you upset one you upset both

And they’re a slice or two short of a standard loaf

Yep once they’ve been aggrieved their minds won’t budge,

 

They’ll take their shotguns off the wall

Load ‘em up, rock salt an all

And blast the hide off anything that moves,

Now I don’t know what this is worth

But I think that I was switched at birth

Because this ain’t the kind of lifestyle I would choose,

 

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my Ma’

And of coarse I also love my Pa’

My two sisters and my fourteen brothers too,

But there’s not one of them that looks like me

And their joint I.Q is twenty-three

Strike me dead if what I say ain’t true ,

 

So you wonder now why I don’t leave

And I’ve thought about it you can believe

But they need me here friends, I guess they always will,

You see our Moonshine is mountain pure

The locals use it as a cure

And I’m the one that runs the family still,

 

And there are the Thompson twins across the rise

Especially the one with both her eyes

Now they’re a sight to see and that’s the truth,

Figures like an hourglass

Look up to the neck but don’t go past

It loses something when you see the tooth,

 

 

 

By S.E.Ralph

 

26-1-2012

 

 


Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Kay P Devenish 3/28/2012
This one left me with a smile (thank goodness I have teeth to smile and both eyes to read) awesome work Steve,truly awesome!
Reviewed by Richard King 1/30/2012
After readin yer den page I'd haf ta say thet I'm a thinkin thet yer imagination writ this here story. Sure wish my imagination worked thet dern good.

Really an enjoyable read, Steve. Thanks Dick
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 1/30/2012
Hahahaha! Right up to that last line...this was so much fun! Well done, Steve, and thanks for the chuckles! LOVED the last stanza!

Anna
Reviewed by Paul Berube 1/30/2012
Enjoyed this true to life write, Steve. Well done, my friend.
Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.