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Gene Williamson

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A Broken Man
by Gene Williamson

Saturday, July 04, 2009
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Gene Williamson
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           >> View all 258

Somehow inspired by Crazy Hattie, with apologies to Gianetta Ellis



He breaks easily.
After many years of diminishing returns,
he is today a reminder of the man
he used to be. He is a man
without a wrist to stand on or shoulder
to put to the wheel, a man sans a hand
to shake or caress a curvy shape,
a man absent a big toe to kick a bucket with
or an elbow to bend or attach a crazy bone to,
a bowlegged man without a knee to knock,
an eye to patch, a tooth to pull, an ear to lend,
or a large, lovable nose to be led around by.
He is fast running out of parts to lose.
Last week his neighbor’s rottweiler buried
his mandible under a red maple tree.
It broke his heart.
 
 
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Reviewed by Shirley Houston 7/14/2012
Time passes quickly, and we are but blades of grass that wither and return to the Earth in the face of eternity. Excellent, albeit sober pen for me, poet!
Reviewed by Art Sun 8/3/2009
memories can be a harsh reality..

nice work Gene...
Reviewed by F William Broome 7/28/2009

This one is gripping to read, and it's up to your high standards. There are days when I feel as if I am him, but I struggle through. Well written, ole buddy. - - Bill

Reviewed by Nicole Weaver 7/14/2009
very clever indeed with many excellent symbolic representations. My kind of poetry. Bravo!
Reviewed by J'nia Fowler 7/11/2009
Kind of sad and kind of humorous. I kept thinking of that old joke, which byw is not very politically correct to mention but here goes anyway. Do you know why the North American Hockey Teams don't schedule games with Leper? Because there will inevitably be a face-off in the corner. Ok, now you can grown. lol I enjoyed this poem Gene. hugs, J'nia
Reviewed by John Townsend 7/9/2009
Love it, the despair that it takes you, yet the twist of sarcastic humor. I could almost be that man, if not then, maybe now, or tomorrow. Though I feel it is a warning, 'He breaks easily', we all need an Armadillo skin to see life as it presents itself.
Thanks
take care
John
Reviewed by D Johnson 7/9/2009
The question is this... Is this sadness wrapped in humor or humor cloaked in sadness? No matter, it is wonderful writing filled with truth.

Cheers,
Dan
Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green 7/8/2009
What Sage said! Humpty-Dumpty has a great fall. . .can't put Humpty together again~! All we can do is try to see the humor. Sometimes hard to do. Helps to have a clever versifier like you jiggle your funny-bone! Laughing all the waaaaaaay. . .(: 'Pea' :)
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 7/7/2009
this somehow reminds me of Edward Lear but I don't know quite why. Perhaps it's because it is sharp yet humourous; devilish, yet humane. Unique and witty, too. Think I know personally this poor fellow's female counterpart... she's losing body parts all over the place, too! But still smiling! :)) xx
Reviewed by jude forese 7/6/2009
when this man bites into life, it leaves him with nothing to chew on ... sad scenario ... creative analogy and well crafted ...
Reviewed by Carole Mathys 7/6/2009
I really enjoyed the sad touch of whimsy Gene, it does make me wonder if we are only the sum of our working parts...

Carole~
Reviewed by Amber Moonstone 7/6/2009
Gene, such a sad but true mix of words about getting old. Last night I woke up and my legs were in pain so bad I had to take two advil. Not sure what the problem is, but it scared me to death. Now reading your poem today, you touched my heart. I shall try to grow old gracefully, but hell the journey is going to kill me! lol
Great poem, I shall read Gina's, I must have missed that one.
Peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
Reviewed by Michael Guy 7/5/2009
Really tragic - yet so well written. What an opening couplet that sets the tone! Those last three lines really clinch the character drawing.
Excellent, yet it brings to my mind a sad old man with Alzh.'s I knew.
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 7/5/2009
very interesting...I do not look forward to rolling down hill...
losing my memory, wrinkles that I may trip over....other things that go south I hear....sigh....that sound you just heard are my knees creeking ;) I'll join your poem "A Broken Man" & at least we can be broken together...
Love & Inspirations
Vickie :)
Reviewed by Julianza (Julie) Shavin 7/5/2009
Hello Genie: I don't know the other poems (yet!) but as for this one. Interesting concept. I struggle with how much one can lose emotionally, but also physically. Aging sucks. A suggestion if you won't kill me: Lose the "he used to be." The theme is brokenness, but it seems more like brokenness due to losing this and that. Thus I might say, "there went his heart." But it's your poem. I wrote a poem a little like this, about losing body parts that then evinced vestigial, like earlobes on ankles, nipples on knees. )many men liked the idea of knee nipples, but they wouldn't be exciting that way all out in the open in summer, would they?) But to get back to the point, I like this sad poignant poem. I would tighten the beginning, leaving out the oft-repeated "man." We know it is a man. I do get the theme. Hey, if you need, in particular, a knee to knock, I have one knocked knee. And here you thought I was perfect (didn't you?). I am reminded of another line, "death we spend a lifetime on/learning not what to pack." but you know what? The heck with learning. So much just falls away, doesn't it. good, in a way. i hate making those tough decisions. Anyway, ah, aging. You gotta love it. Now i take issue with something: about the ear to lend, because I find you to be a good listener. Know what's weird? When you said a toe to kick a bucket with, i thought you meant "the bucket," which could be an interesting little irony in a dark poem. So was that a double entendre? or am I just twisted, or both? well, we just keep putting one foot or toe or ear or wrist in front of the other and keep on keeping on. There is only one question in life: to be or not to be? If the former, we wake to greet our losses, and make the most with what's left, eh? i was going to say, keep your chin up (if this is even autobiographical, I forgot to mention), but then, that got buried by the dog? it's said that within 50 years all our body parts will be replaceable (however it said nothing about the, I'm sure, metaphorical, at least in part, losses these parts may imply). Remember, the knee is available, and I somehow have both ears (in all ways), so keep writing. -- best wishes from your broken (breaking and financially broke) colorado friend.
Reviewed by Myrna Badgerow 7/5/2009
Your analogies always leave me saying 'yes, that's it'... keep on doing what you do, my friend...
Myrna
Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks 7/5/2009
I would be saddened by the misery of this man, had I not read the great and clever humor your pen has produced, Gene! An imaginative and delightful tale :o)
Blessings and Love - Micke
(who will be catching up with Cliff's adventures...soon! :o)
Reviewed by Juliet Waldron 7/5/2009
A poignant read, especially to a reader who, today, has been left behind while others go out to play because of all the lost pieces. The last 3 lines are a killer.
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 7/5/2009
A clever way of dispensing clichés about man's fallacies and fantasies although with a ton of truth all along.

Georg

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater 7/4/2009
Jawbreaker! After all, man is just a jigsaw puzzle, his frame houses a thousand interlocking pieces...now the trick is to put it all to a fixative sprayed on to preserve the finished puzzle man on an oversized piece of cardboard to repel dissolving in the rain...Humpty-Dumpty style of poetry, Gene...

Love,
Sage
Reviewed by Lloyd Lofthouse 7/4/2009
Gene, you captured it pefectly. There are so many of us older gents that are broken men losing parts. Each day I wake up wondering if I will get through the day without something else going wrong with my body. Days where nothing changes, are good ones. :o)
Reviewed by E T Waldron 7/4/2009
what a gem this is Gene! A word portrait painted
so vividly will be long remembered...

Happy 4th!
Eileen
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 7/4/2009
As long as he still has his belly button, he is still a whole man...e
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 7/4/2009
Cleverly written with symbolic overtones; thank you for sharing, Gene. Love and peace to you,

Regis
Reviewed by Jon Willey 7/4/2009
may those whose survival he assured tend him and mend his broken heart in his waning years -- there is a touch of humor, a touch a aging's reality, a touch of metaphor in this wonderful peace Gene -- but he his a grand old man either way -- peace and love my dear friend -- Jon Michael
Reviewed by Paul Berube 7/4/2009
Very different for you, Gene. You could almost relate this write to the U.S.A. Well done.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 7/4/2009
Powerfully penned poignancy, Gene, well done.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Reviewed by Gianetta Ellis 7/4/2009
I think this is just the man who might've saved poor, crazy Hattie. Together, they might've conquered the world.
Reviewed by richard cederberg 7/4/2009
"He is a man
without a wrist to stand on"
Now that is truly a lamentable image.
Methinks there must be an inner circle of awareness here that one must be privy to.
Reviewed by Debra Kraft 7/4/2009
Wow. You ought to submit this one to some of the speculative poetry markets!



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