Actually

Actually?

What if we’d have actually met?

Even now,

many years after,

thinking of our improbable love,

even though logically

we both knew our love was finished,

even though logically

we both knew our love had to be finished

I wonder what may have happened

if I’d have actually flown from my

west coast to your east coast.

Thinking of our improvable love,

if I’d have actually flown from my

west coast to your east coast.

If we’d have actually met,

what if,

for the first time,

if you’d have actually seen me,

what if,

for the first time,

I had actually seen you,

would we have shaken hands,

would we have hugged,

would we have briefly hugged

with a lightly brushed kiss on the cheek?

Actually?

If we’d have actually met,

what if,

for the first time together,

we sat in a public place,

at a table sipping coffee or tea,

actually looking at you,

actually looking at me,

actually together for the first time

would your hand be held in mine?

Would you have wanted your hand in mine?

Would I have wanted your hand in mine?

Actually?

What if we’d have actually met?

Would the sight of me to you,

would the sight of you to me,

would your mannerisms,

would my mannerisms,

would your smile,

would my smile,

would the tone of

and the sound of your voice,

would the tone of

and the sound of my voice,

would the silent message read within your eyes,

would the silent message read within my eyes, 

would this meeting foster our love,

would this meeting bring realism to fantasy?

What if we’d have actually met?

Would we have both seen what we had;

that our love was not more than fantasy?

Then,

would we have happily parted with a briefly hugged,

lightly brushed kiss on the cheek?

Or…

Actually,

what if we’d have actually met?

Would our brief meeting…

would the utter futility of our brief meeting…

would the preponderance our truly found love

and our inevitable parting factually tear at our hearts,

factually tearing at our hearts bring us to tears?

What if we’d have actually met?

Even now,

so many years after,

thinking of our improbable love,

even though logically

we both knew our love was finished…

even though logically

we both knew our love had to be finished.

What if we’d have actually met?

Actually!

Really!

What if?

©June 18, 2012 Mark M Lichterman