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"Oh, John, you are so Romantic ...
Say something 'Soft and Mushy ..."
He thinks ... and Thinks ...
and THINKS ...
Only 7 Days to ... 'APRIL FOOLS' DAY' !
© - Tom Hyland - 3/25/11
Why is it that Some Words are ‘Vulgar’ -
While others are ‘Cute’?
Does the Connotation -
Require an Explanation?
Or - is Definition Dependent Upon -
Size or Condition?
Can the Resultant Observation -
Vary by Its Application?
For Some Odd Reason -
The First Title Word
Did Not Appear in my ‘Word’ Thesaurus -
Yet, the Verb Form ‘Defecate’ Did!
Let’s ‘Break it Down’ - Okay?
De-Fecate ... to Expel Feces!
That’s a ‘Number Two’ -
To The Human Species!
Now, One Must Apply -
Some Humor, or Some Wit -
To Avoid the Vulgate -
‘To Take A Shit’!
If What’s ‘Left Behind’ -
Came from a Cute Little Bunny -
It’s Merely a ‘Bunny Turd’
So, That’s a ‘Cute’ Word!
If the ‘Leavings’ are from a Doe -
Or Deer, Way Out in the Forest -
We call Them ‘Tracks’ -
While Vultures Might Regard Them as ‘Yummy Snacks’!
OMG - Is This Guy Nuts?
Or - Does he Simply ‘Have Guts’?
Is it Totally Un-Romantic -
To Be Overly Pedantic?
Should the ‘Droppings’ Be -
From a Much Larger Mammal -
Say a ‘Dump’ from an Elephant -
Is It more Gross? Must I Recant?
If On a Caravan, Out in the Desert -
Campfire Songs are Sung -
You’ll Enjoy the Aroma Of -
Roasting Camel ‘Dung’!
Should you Find on your Pantry Shelf -
‘Trails’ left by little Meeses -
You call them ‘Mouse-Turds’ -
Not ‘Meeses’ Pieces’!
Yet - Even Smaller ‘Tracks’ -
Cause you to be Taken Aback -
UGH! ‘Roach Shit’!
A Disgusting Attack!
Although the Size May Be -
Quite Diminutive -
Much Money to an ‘Exterminator’
You WILL Give!
While Out on a Ranch -
Or - Along a Trail -
A ‘Pile’ of ‘Horse-Turds’
May be Seen ... Isn’t That Just ‘Keen’?
Should It Be a Steer or a Cow -
Out in a Meadow -
We call Them ‘Meadow Muffins’ -
Notice How Your Intolerance ‘Toughens’?
“Horse-Shit - It Makes The Grass Grow Green”
So - Then we call It ‘Fertilizer’ -
Now That I’ve Explained -
Don’t You Feel - So Much ‘Wiser’?
© - TKH.
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|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|Thanks for the laughs, Tom; I always appreciate your wit and humor. Love and peace to you,
|Reviewed by Donna Chandler
|It's obvious that you've put a great deal of time and thought into this inspirational, poetic piece. As soon as I read the first line, I knew this was written by a male. Very cute and oh so true but not very romantic for your sweetie. :)
|Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
|Sure wish I could pick up that adorable puppy and fill his or her life with lots of love, hugs, and kisses! Oh and please keep that pup clean...
Be always safe,
|Reviewed by Ed Matlack
|Mr Ed squats & dumps in the grass with his dogs but the Jersey Devil only does so in the pine barrens and doesn't do so to be politically correct, like you...Jerseeeeeeey|
|Reviewed by Chip Bergeron
|And then there are times when a shit nis just a shit....right???
|Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
|Ah yes, a subject dear to my fart oh wise one. Patrick|
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|And, if you should stumble across,
What that old Jersey Ed left behind,
I suggest you run like a bat out of hell,
That aroma, will quickly make you blind!
PS: That's why I ran away from home at such a young age.
PPS: I actually like the smell of Meadow Muffins.
PPPS: And on a cold winter's night,
If you ever run out of firewood,
Try some Mighty Moose Turds,
They do burn, real good!!
|Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader)
|OMG......you are a riot your killin me...LOL all I can say is holy shit ... you are something else darlin....Hugsss,much love sweet TK|