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Matthew Arnold Stern

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Books by Matthew Arnold Stern
The Angel in the Christmas Play (2007 Version)
by Matthew Arnold Stern
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Matthew Arnold Stern
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Three years ago, I wrote a parody of a popular Christmas song to describe celebrity screw ups. This year, we have a bumper crop of misbehaving in the media. So, here's another parody.

Michael Vick:
I'm a football star with a few regrets
About the way I like to play with pets.
Falcons fans want me neutered and spayed.
I'm the angel in the Christmas play.

Britney Spears:
Went to rehab for an hour or two,
Then I shaved my head and got a new tattoo.
K-Fed's gonna take my kids away.
I'm the angel in the Christmas play.

I sleepwalked through the VMAs.
My career is in the can.
At least that YouTube crying kid
Is still my biggest fan.
Amy Winehouse:
I'm a tattooed freak who likes to take to heart,
About how life's imitating art.

Senator Larry Craig:
I flirt with guys, but don't call me gay.
I'm the angel in the Christmas play.

Vanessa Hudgens:
I took nudie pics for my Zac to view
For it's the "Start of Something New."
Hope Disney won't take my part away,
I'm the angel in the Christmas play.
Paris Hilton:
When I put on my angel wings
I like to preen and pose.

Don Imus:
But they sure as hell shouldn't give those things
To nappy headed...oops, sorry.

Attorney General Michael Mukasey:
Waterboarding's like taking a bath.

O.J. Simpson:
I stole that stuff to give Fred Goldman half.

Scooter Libby:
I gave that spy's identity away,
I'm the angel in the Christmas play.

Barry Bonds:
I hit home runs and beat Hammerin' Hank,
And I have Balco Labs to thank.

Mitt Romney:
Pander to the Right, they don't care how you pray.
I'm the angel in the Christmas play.

Stephen Colbert:
To have a job as president,
Is something I would like.
But in truthiness, I cannot speak
Since my writers went on strike.
2007 was a crazy year.

Lindsay Lohan:
I think I'll have another beer.

Hillary Rodham Clinton:
But next year is when I'll make my play.

We're the angels in the Christmas play.   
Matthew Arnold Stern -- Writer and Speaker
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Reviewed by larry linville 12/12/2007
very good. I like your parody. You pick on everyone on all sides.

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