Some say ‘O-O-O you’re sexy
others think, ‘hmm you’re cute’
I’m Smart yet I feel so dumb
Intellectual! But often I feel so stupid
Appear abrasive & calloused
As sensitive than a child
Always– I wear a smile Inside–
aching with a frown
Usually I seem happy
Am consumed with sadness
Have Never I met a stranger except in myself
Wouldn’t hesitate to challenge –ANYONE
Posing a threat to someone I love
But who will fight for me?
A foreign land is this world
Yet familiar enough to eek out an existence
My heart cries constantly for the pain of others
So why do I hate myself so?
Laughter permeates my countenance
While loneliness saturates my being
Admired by so many
Yet trust so few
Crave an end to the madness
Yet right at home in the chaos
Determined I am...
Never to resign from life
But I hate waking up every day
Who in the name of God am I?
Why don’t I fit?
Where do I really belong?
When will it all end?
So creatively disguised in my insanity
Who’ll discern that I need help?
Anger & bitterness are my motivations to live & fight
Yet speckled with love & compassion
Tainted by violence & hatred
and never will I do this to another
Often I feel so confused
But deep, deep inside I am certain
God truly knows my pain & He cares
My search for the profound meaning of my life will always lead UPward
Because I realize my true identity will Only be found thru knowing Him better –
That space of complete, unadulterated Trust & peace...
That place ........................ where God is!