Looked in the mirror one day
The person in there wasn’t me
There was some fat lady there
Wondering how on earth she
Got that way.
Ran into an old friend the other day,
She said, “How nice to see you!
Congratulations, when’s the baby due?”
Running back to the days of old,
I was so thin, they called me Bones
Six feet tall and 135, they said I didn’t
Eat enough to keep a scarecrow alive.
Well, the scarecrow is alive and well,
But as for me, I look like hell!