AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Alfred Schwab, iJansen Estrup, iMike Monahan, iDan Ronco, iIan Irvine (Hobson), iRussell Williams, iPatricia Sanders, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ed Matlack

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 5,691 Titles
· 43,229 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Run, Rasputin Run! (Book 3): Rasputin's Redemption
by Jennifer Miller

Rasputin, the most feared wolf in the forest, bent on revenge for old insults. But then one night his life is turned around and a new future presents itself... will the o..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
Ni'il: The War Within
by James Boyle

Award-winning finalist 2010 Independent Publishers Book Awards (IPPY) for fantasy/sci-fi fiction. Police Chief Dan Connor and his partner return to continue the ..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members



Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  Summer Doth Approach...
  2.  My Ass Is Grass
  3.  Sunny Days and Mondays
  4.  SHRIMPY
  5.  Ah, Shucks
  6.  What is it with women...?
  7.  Halloween is Coming!
  8.  Missed again...
  9.  $
  10.  The Toilet Seat
  11.  An expose' of the Pines Devil...
  12.  Cell Phone Blues
  13.  Catching Up With The Past
  14.  My Good Friday Procedure
  15.  Funny Bones Claire
  16.  Tits
  17.  Somebody Blinked
  18.  'Nere Do Wells
  19.  Curly McCurdled
  20.  The jersey devil stayed home last night…





Naughty or Nice...
by Ed Matlack

Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Become a Fan

Recent poems by Ed Matlack
•  Wha' happened to Spring...?
•  Summer Doth Approach...
•  FIRE...
•  Bear with me...
•  Whine & simian...
           >> View all 5,666

It started out humor, but it kinda has a bit of the everyday stresses of life for Santa too...


Have you been naughty or nice,

Do you deserve gifts or black ice,

No longer if naughty do you get coal,

For you deserve nothing so ice melts,

And nothing you will have, hope it does suffice…

 

If the world is going down the tubes,

Then Santa is going to give out those black cubes,

It really is a great idea, for Santa’s stress level is really high,

He can’t in good conscience sit back anymore and sigh…

 

Santa really does love the children on earth,

But they have been less compassionate of late,

He tries like heck to be of them considerate,

But when they make fun of him & his girth,

That’s one thing he just can’t take,

As he is very sensitive about his weight

 

 

© ed ~~ 12/16/08

Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci 10/28/2012
Santa is one person I would never upset!

Love ya!

Jane
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 12/22/2008
Let's hope that Santa Googles,' naughty and gets them all.

Ron
Reviewed by Felix Perry 12/17/2008
So true, and poor Santa Fee is trying so hard to diet and exercise, I mean when I had that large everything on it extra cheese pizza last night I did wash it down with a diet soda not regular.

Santa
fee
Reviewed by Lois Christensen 12/17/2008
Merry Christmas to you Ed. I am more excited this year than last. Wasn't in a good mood last yr. For some reason I cannot sleep these past two nights. Up at 3:15 again today thought it was morning. Snowed 3 in here yesterday, supposed to be sleeting today. Can the weather have something to do with my sleeping pattern? I did not take a sleeping pill either , that could be the answer. Merry Christmas to you too Rufuz, may you get lots of love from Ed your master this holiday season.
Reviewed by Leland Waldrip 12/16/2008
Merry Christmas, Ed. Have a great new year.
Best regards,
Leland
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 12/16/2008
Great write, but I choose to remember the REAL Reason of the Season!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :)
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 12/16/2008
No reply!!

Love Tinka :)
Reviewed by Rebecca Lerwill 12/16/2008
He is? Better be nice, then...
Love,
Becca~
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 12/16/2008
I asked Santa if he had lost weigh looking so lean (I hope he leaves plenty of presents)

Ed the Elder

PS: Santa hasn't forgotten your shenanigas with his missus!

Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 12/16/2008
Pleasantly plump people are the happiest. I love Santa that way. How else could he go Ho, ho, ho? Great write. Liz
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 12/16/2008
And that mean old Mrs. Claus is relentless in nagging him about it, too. She even tried to get him to enroll in Weight Watchers, and you know what he said? HO, HO, HO!
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 12/16/2008
I, for one, love Santa just the way he is. Being a bit on the chubby side, he's in good company. Ho Ho Ho! LOL Well done, Ed.

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.



Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.