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David A. Schwinghammer

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· Soldier's Gap

Short Stories
· Seminary Boy, a memoir

· Fisher of Men, Chapter Nine

· Soldier's Gap, Chapter Three

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Nine

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight

· Mengele's Double, Chapter Eight

· Bereavement Blues

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 7

· Speed Dating With 'Janeane Garofalo'

· Another Planet, book review

· The Three Stooges, book review

· The God Particle

· Empire of Sin, book review

· Science at the Edge, book review

· Obama, a Modern Caesar?

· Americans Need to Pull Together

· Voices of the French Revolution, book review

· Great American Scandals

· Odd Man Out, book review

· Fashion

· Widow's Peak

· Myth

· Alumni Game

· Stradivarius

· Snow-a-holic

· Girls Who Wear Glasses

· The Do Drop Inn

· Jacks or Better 101

· Never My Love

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  Ode to Neve Campbell
by David A. Schwinghammer
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Recent poems by David A. Schwinghammer
•  Fashion
•  Widow's Peak
•  Myth
•  Alumni Game
•  The Do Drop Inn
           >> View all 12

Neve Campbell shows up in my dream.

Ode to Neve Campbell


Neve Campbell came to me last night in a dream, quite a change from the usual vapid cheerleaders and old girlfriends with knives and arsenic seeking revenge. Out of work since Party of Five and the Scream movies,

Julia Salinger of the innocent eyes jumped at the chance to audition for an indy production. “What’s my motivation?”she asked with an endearing pout. “You’re a tortured soul,”I said. “Guys have used you and tossed you aside.”

“And what makes you different?” she said.I wasn’t ready for such an attitude from my dream girl. If she’d been a sport, Neve would have had sex with me,but we just sat there holding hands. I hear she’s married.

My dreamscape is usually hornier than this, darn it.It was apparent I wasn’t going to get to taste those pouty lips.Why should dreams be any different? Since my subconscious had sent me an angel, I thought I’d ask about the lack of women in my life.

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked. “Even Ted Bundy had a girlfriend.”She said I was too emotionally unstable to handle a credit card chewing, manalo-wearing, Gucci handbag fondling, cell phone abusing, soap opera-watching, romance novel reading clothes horse.

Julia’s Wikipedia entry says she hates her toes, that she was once a ballerina and that her mother is Jewish. Told her how grateful I was that she’d shown up in my dream. “Lately I haven’t even been the central character in my own dreams. They’ve been about somebody else I don’t even know.”


Dave Schwinghammer's published novel, SOLDIER'S GAP, is available on
Mystery Writer

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Reviewed by The Poetess 12/24/2010
I hope your healthiest fantasies become cherished reality.
Reviewed by Terry Rizzuti 12/17/2010
Grin, good poem, David. I like the last verse.

Books by
David A. Schwinghammer

Soldier's Gap

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  1. Wolf at the Door
  2. morning gesture
  3. A women's day poem
  4. past encounter
  5. I Sprung
  6. The Garden of Death
  7. Watch What You Say
  8. imaginable possibility
  9. Ahhh . . . Thinking About Things
  10. Mankind
  11. The Fighter
  12. His Life
  13. My Failings
  14. synchronized
  15. Afterglow
  16. I'll Be Doing It Until I Die
  17. Drowning....but making it.
  18. Bedlam in Thibodaux
  19. A Woman
  20. Casualties

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