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Jessica L.H. Stanfield

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I Show My Ass to the Highway
by Jessica L.H. Stanfield

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

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I Show My Ass to the Highway

Too many beers,
too early in the morning
the beach is still miles away.
Those beers wont stop racing each other
towards my tiny inflating bladder.

Sons of bitches.

You’d think they were trying to win a gold medal
every single one of them.

I wiggle and jiggle in the backseat
until I can’t possibly take anymore
of this self induced torture.
We pull over
and I show my ass to the highway.

To the honking cars, the trees
and You
standing there beside me
chuckling.

As I squat against the rough trunk of a palm
you just unzip and whip it on out.
You never show your ass.
No humiliation.
Total alleviation.
Just because I’m a girl,
I can’t even urinate in peace,
without showing my ass to the highway.

Ah, to have a penis!



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Reviewed by Divinity 11 12/30/2003
BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Reviewed by Susan Sparks (Reader) 10/12/2003
Don't ever squat in a patch of poison ivy. Son-of-a-Bitch--that would be one-helluva scratchanitch. I totally identify. I'm an amateur photographer and have been in the Oklahoma Outback many times with no facilities in sight. Got the hell scared out of me once when I pulled down my pants almost right on top of a big long snake. Great write! You've got a new fan.
Reviewed by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper 10/4/2003
funny Jess, you got a laugh out of me. I bet if the hi way had eyes it would have enjoyed the view. G
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 9/24/2003
hehehehehehehe...and if you getup too quick you weee on your shoe...lol!!
And OH that dripdry does not work........hehehehe...Oh shit this is funny I can go on and on and On and...okay I will stop...I think I am dry enough now!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Tyler Wiseman 9/24/2003
This is wonderful! You keep good humors throughout, watering the gardenias and cattails!

Reviewed by Al Swanson (Reader) 9/24/2003
this is really cute Jessica, yup, to guys, we're just admiring the flowers, viewing the beauty of nature, smile, this must have been a sight, just so comicallllll, thanks, al
Reviewed by Sandra Corona 9/24/2003
Don't drink but this is funny. I take 'water pills' (high blood pressure) so have to stop often. My hubby finally bought a trailer so we just pull over; it has a bathroom ;)! Then, too, I choose how much I drink by the number of 'pit stops' enroute :)!
:)Sandy
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 9/24/2003
glad i don't drinnnnnk....LOL

oh, my, what a predicament to be in...you don't want to see MY pale ass; i'd scare everyone! LOL

what a funny write; i truly enjoyed this! LOL

(((HUGS))) and love, your friend, karen lynn in texas. :D

"oh, to have a penis...we women have it tough, it seems....LOL*
Reviewed by P. Michaels 9/24/2003
Jessica,
This is funny. All I can say is be happy with what God made you and try to find some bushes to hide behind.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 9/24/2003
(((jessica)))

o, the memories LOL i've been in this predicament myself...a loooooong time ago, mind you LOL *not a pretty sight*

hysterical write that many wimmin will identify with *i know i do*

great job!

((((HUGS)))) and love,

karla. *still chuckling*
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