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Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

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Member Since: Before 2003

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Discouraged...
by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

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Trying to battle the demons of depression. (This has been going on since Friday.)

Trying to make some sense of my mundane life...
Wonderin' why it has to be so full of woe or strife.

I feel like I haven't a friend in the world,
And to me, depression's ugly flag has unfurled.

Feel like my writing isn't getting me anywhere,
And I am wondering if anyone really DOES care.

Work is stressing me out, am not appreciated there,
And if I could, I'd pack up and go elsewhere.

Having issues with prejudice and hate--
If I could just rid of this, why, I'd feel GREAT!

Had a review yesterday that made tears come to my eyes,
And it seems all I've done last night and today is cry.

I feel like I can't write, feel that my muse is shutting down,
And whenever I think of it, it causes me to want to frown!

I would like to be happy, but I feel so hopeless and scared;
What the future holds for me, I feel I'm not prepared!

I need your prayers; I really do;
This is what I ask from all of you!

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Reviewed by Muhammad Al Mahdi 3/14/2012
This sums up what we all feel like, sometimes. There's an immense bleakness to things as they seem sometimes, which is like a magnifying glass that makes every little flaw seem huge. A smile at the right time gives us the feeling that there is smiles and warmth and lightness still. The last lines capture the need of relief, of appreciation and solidarity, just as well as the poem captures the sadness of grey days.
Reviewed by Vickie Yannuzzi 4/13/2005
your feelings are captured in words, and they open up doors of light, so you can overcome, and the words give new insights to win the battle, my thoughts are keep writing.as it is a gift to share.
Reviewed by Sage Writer (Reader) 12/20/2004
Hang in because it's get better, life that is. You are not alone in your feelings. Lots of us have been there, some still. Change the way you see things and the things you see changes. I believe that.
Reviewed by Ann Piatt 5/6/2004
Oh, this is so sad...my heart goes out to you...and before i began typing...i said a prayer and sent it your way. Hope...even when it is hard to believe...hope.
Reviewed by Brittany Brandon (Reader) 4/19/2004
This was such a heartfelt poem....i have been experiencing the same since last year....I understand how you feel....your writing is such an inspiration....keep writing love your philly friend!!!
Reviewed by James Justice 4/17/2004
hi karen this is a very nice write keep your chin up, it looks like you have a lot of people supporting here take care James
Reviewed by Sara Russell 2/16/2004
Hi Karen,

This is a heartfelt, emotional write. I hope you will feel better soon, in fact I know this will pass in time...

Depression is something that many women have to deal with over the years, it comes and goes with things like bullying employers, hormonal changes; stress of all kinds. But as poets we can at least put these feelings down on paper, then stand back from them and get them into perspective. Next time these feelings sweep over you, don't explore the depressed thoughts, but pick up a book or turn on the TV or the radio. Depressed thoughts can be shut out, especially if they are the same old thoughts that drag you down. By doing something else, you are turning down the volume control on depression. Then, when you are ready to face the problems, tell it all to someone close - or write a heartfelt poem, as you have here...

All the best,

Sara.
Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore 2/10/2004
prejudice and hate...two subjects that are very close to my heart...lol...you're a soul of light, karen. don't let it get'cha down. i know howeasy it is to dwell, but that's the job we each have as humans, to think always of the moment and elevate the blessings, not the curses. you and your family will be in my prayers also! take care and keep on writing! we most definitely care! your friend in san marcos, mark
Reviewed by Regina Pounds 2/7/2004
oh, Karen...you have a lot of support here, I see, but on a more practical level: eat a bit of chocolate every day...do something totally unrelated to all those things that trigger your sadness...buy yourself a flower, a scented candle...indulge your senses...and rest...then be sure to exercise by dancing or some other movement you enjoy.

I know these may be just tiny band-aids, but they'll help you feel better for a while.

As for the big issues that weigh you down...let them be unless you can change them.

much love,
Gina
Reviewed by Joyce Hale 2/7/2004
Karen, my prayers go out to you! I know how you feel. Hang in there, it will get better! {{{{Karen}}}}}
Reviewed by evan horetsky 2/6/2004
Life is beautiful, and you'll always have friends.
You have my prayers,
Many loves,
Evan
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 2/4/2004
I might not be much Dear Heart, but you have me for your friend. Praying this darkness will pass and you will soon have a smile again.
Reviewed by Jeanette Foresta 2/3/2004
Karen it is okay to be sad, blue, discouraged, as long as you realize, "this too shall pass" and you can help it along by taking it easy on yourself and stop judging yourself. It is the dead of winter when many people are feeling the blues. Taking a class in something you like may help you feel that you are taking action on this front. At work, visualize yourself on the beach taking in the sun, try to block out the bad vibes. Keep your room bright with lights on! Going for a walk helps me. Hope you feel better soon.
Reviewed by Susan Sparks (Reader) 2/1/2004
Karen: I'm sorry you're depressed. I'll be praying for you. Keep your chin up--you're a wonderfully expressive poet!! And it's obvious to me that you have many, many supportive friends here at AuthorsDen.
Love, Susan
Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 2/1/2004
Wonderful write! I know where you're coming from...keep believing!
Reviewed by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper 1/31/2004
you too Karen. If I didn't have so much fun trying to write I'd quit also. Now it is merely a hobby. Anyway try and keep your head up. I think we all suffer from this. Me I've been suffering for years. I just totally learned how to ignore it and keep smiling. actually we don't have much of a choice. As far as racial feelings go, I'm not prejudice against skin color, just the fool under the skin. You'll be all right. love and respects. G
Reviewed by Vesna Blueflame 1/31/2004
..it seems that lately AD has been hit by depression..hey..Karen..we've all been there and we've all bounced back..you will as well..hey, you know we all love ya..this is NOT just a poetry site..we are all FAMILY!!! OK sis?..much love to you Karen..one day you'll visit me here and see where your grandpa came from..OK? *smile*

vesna oxoxoxo
Reviewed by Keighley Perkins (Reader) 1/31/2004
I can relate to this right now. You're not alone.
Love
Keighley
Reviewed by SilverCeltic Moon 1/30/2004
I agree with all of the sentiments. We love you...stay strong and remember it is always darkest before the dawn...so wait and the sun will rise! ;) Silver
Reviewed by Tamara Dailey-Keur 1/30/2004
Sweet Karen, You have my prayers. I know how you feel and I think we have all been here a time or two. Wonderful write that is full of saddness... I pray that you see a brighter day. Much love and peace to you always. (((Hugs))) Tamara Dailey-Keur
Reviewed by Russ Okamura 1/30/2004
This is a very excellent poem! You have a powerful way with your words that grab the reader and shake their soul. You pour your heart out passionately and with true honesty. You truly have the soul of an inspiring poet! I am a fan.
Reviewed by na na (Reader) 1/30/2004
There is beauty even in your sadness dear heart. You can see from reading the comments how we love you and want the best for you. You cannot fail or be a failure when you are loved this way. I am feel- ing much better and I will pray that your heart and soul rises above the mundane from reading all the love expressed for you here. We all feel the way you do at times. But thank God it does pass. Hugs and love xx Bill
Reviewed by Simon Thurlow (Reader) 1/29/2004
Believe in yourself. That is the most important thing. There are far too many people out there who are too willing to put us down. You must concentrate on YOU !!
Reviewed by Rodd Jokre 1/28/2004
Karen, good work dear... I feel you in it!

Rodd
Reviewed by Andrea Da Costa (Reader) 1/28/2004
I totally relate to what you're feeling...you tell it well!
Hope everything looks brighter soon.
Andrea
Reviewed by jude forese 1/27/2004
have faith in yourself and the truth will unravel ...
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 1/27/2004
Love and prayers, hope the break through is just around corner..
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 1/26/2004
My prayers are with you my friend.....love n luck...BHUWAN
Reviewed by Nancy D. 1/26/2004
You have my prayers.

Nancy
Reviewed by Leland Waldrip 1/26/2004
Hi Karen:
Anyone who can write feelings the way you do should not be depressed. Just look at this very poem. It beautifully expresses your sadness. Now drop that subject and get another. How about work and the disappointments you've told about it. Now show it to us in verse. And when you exhaust that subject, tell us where you'd like to pick up and move to. Would it be just to get away from where you are now, or would it be to find beauty in a new place? What can you find on the internet that would spark your poetic talent about the place. The internet is the world's largest library. Surf it until something grabs you. Travel, adventure, books to download and read, sex, whatever. You can do it, my friend. Just get busy.
Love ya!
Leland
Reviewed by Trish - The Trickster 1/26/2004
You will work it out. You are strong. Will be thinking of you. A smile - a frown turned upside down ;-)
Reviewed by Jeff Mason 1/25/2004
you have my kindest thoughts. keep writing! it helps! -- Jeff
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 1/25/2004
O Karen What Can I
"lady blue say" Big huggs to you dear one!!

Love you remember that okay!!

And yes you are in my prayers.....and thanks for yours...hey I think we must try it the other way around.......maybe that might help..lol!!

Chin Up now okay!!

Love and very warm huggs
Tinka
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson 1/25/2004
Oh heck, I hate your feeling this way. I do care about you.
Many do care about you here at AD. I hope you can be strong
and come to sing a new positive song.
Your friend always.........Ron
You do write very well too, Karen.......
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 1/25/2004
So much has been said before me here, Karen but I will add my best sentiments and prayers. Amour et paix à toi. Ton ami de la C-B, Canada, Régis.
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 1/25/2004
Now, now.. dear Karen.. You give so much encouragement and positive feedback to all of us, of course we eagerly stand by to give some back.. you betcha! I completely agree with Daniel here.. talk, write, talk some more... don't worry about structure or rhyme.. the uglier the better, perhaps.. empty your head and heart of this nasty stuff... I shall tuck you away "upstairs" and grin a lot, so you can remember how to do that.. ok? Alrighty, then! Just DO write! Try doing something really silly, for no reason.. and IGNORE those morons who haven't a brain in their heads when they treat others' badly... you are so much better than they... Count on it! Keep us posted. love, katy xox.
Reviewed by Susan Barton (Reader) 1/25/2004
Chin up my dear friend from Texas! Open a box of crayons, smell that aroma, and then color a picture showing how you feel. Sometimes when words fail...the picture helps.

SueB
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 1/25/2004
You will have my prayers, Karen. Please don't be discouraged by reviews. You have so many friends here who love you. Hope you'll get out of the depression very soon.

((((( Hugs and Love )))))

May Lu a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 1/25/2004
Dear Karen, I understand all to well, I pray you get in better spirits soon, I will pray for you,

Reindeer
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 1/25/2004
(((((((((((((KAren)))))))))
I feel so bad for laying all my burdens on you when you were going through this depression, please if you need to talk to me, please, please email me or leave a message, I want you to know that I really do care...
God Bless you
~Michelle~
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 1/25/2004
Did someone say something to one of my girlfriends in Texas that you did not like? Tell me who and I will behead his lack of manliness in his pants...I am here, know that now, you have my email address and are more than welcome to use it...my prayers are now reserved for you, as you need them more than I...Find Peace, Mz Karen, you are well loved and prayed for throughout the AD community...ED & Rufuz
Reviewed by E T Waldron 1/25/2004
Karen ,I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time.Low self-esteem is a heartbreaker. You should know how special you are.I see you as a person filled with love and compassion, caring what others think of children and their problems, and your writing has always been wonderful. Please don't let what one critic in a comment, says disturb you. You have to just think of it as a stepping stone to improvement,and put it behind you.You are full of love, don't let others rob your peace, it isn't worth it. God always sees your worth, and He counts above all others.
Reviewed by Anna Marie Fritz (Reader) 1/25/2004
I concur with some of the others, Karen...write!
And then maybe drop over to my articles on manic-depression.
You may find a small germ of help there.
Meantime, prayers go your way, from one who's 'been there, done that.'
Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart 1/25/2004
We are all your friends here, Karen. John gave some good advice. The worst thing to do while depressed is to bottle it up. Write about it. Even if it isn't very much. This will soothe the sting.
Reviewed by john zimmerman 1/25/2004
karen:
it is okay --
there is nothing wrong with being discouraged.
there is no shame in being sad.
it is okay to be depressed.

i say that knowing that our society often
says the opposit -- and puts the blame on you
if you are discouraged, or sad, or depressed...
"if only you did, were, or celieved such and such..."
or
"if only you used so-and-so's snake oil, or shampoo..."

if you are depressed BE depressed...it will pass

mean while, WRITE!

examine your depression,
reason with your sadness,
deconstruct your discouragement

know this
you are in my prayers
you are on my heart

lots of hugs

john+
Reviewed by William J. Cryer (Reader) 1/25/2004
Poetic frustration is not a gift we all have. Kudos! I hope things get better, Karen.
Reviewed by Christine Morell 1/25/2004
You are in my prayers too dear Karen.You have written this from your heart and soul and it's wonderful, honest writing. We all do care, very much.
Love
~Chrissie xx
Reviewed by J. Pajot 1/25/2004
You have my prayers, dear lady. I know all too well that demon Depression...it tramps heavily within my family's line. While it is of little consolation now, know that brighter things lie ahead. Keep writing, for that is what makes the heart and soul of the artist...which being "the artist" in this world of "things" is not always easy...but has great merit beyond any set material value. Your muse will not desert you as long as you listen to its subtle song. Be well and soft blessings to you,

Jim
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 1/25/2004
(((karen)))

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) just because i love you

and so do many here at author's den

we all need work on our writing; you are not alone. we are our own worst critics. we can't stand what we write, we don't understand when someone praises our works...are they just being kind??? etc. etc.

your writing has vastly improved, as kate has said. i enjoy reading your stories. you have a great big heart, one that is empathetic to the less fortunate. i wish i could like you are.

your heart cries out in this...of course, i will be praying for you.

(((((HUGS))))) and love,

karla. :( *tears tears tears*
Reviewed by Al Swanson (Reader) 1/25/2004
Hi Karen, yeah, I cn feel for that, that is what you have spoken, it does get to us when we wear down especially, I will pray for ya too, but a very nice rendition for others who go through the same thing, yoiu hvae made lemonaid here dear one, al
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 1/25/2004
You have my prayers, love, and hugs! I know how depression can make us feel so cut off from everything. Karen your writing has been inceasing in its beauty for weeks now. I have been really impressed with the roll you have been on. Perhaps I should of said something sooner? More Hugs!
Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader) 1/25/2004
Karen you sure do have mine...so work problems continue...Please trust God...He will answer you in His own time...You will be in my prayers and thoughts..I know depression...its ugly head has visited me in the past..it is awful...but you have many friends here...take care sweetie..the sun will always come out again...blessings to you..floria

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