Recent Reviews for Patrice Lauren
A Teacher's Mirage (Short Story) - 3/30/2006 11:31:59 PM|
While this is interesting, I find that the story does need a bit of polish. I, too, felt confused as I read several "repeated" paragraphs. I wasn't sure if that was about a separate trip or what was going on. So, I'd suggest some clarificaton there.
I also agree... the last quarter of this really seems to digress from the actual story or from the initial intent - at least in my mind. As I continued reading, I found myself wondering what this story was really about. Was it about the trip? Was it about dissention amongst teachers? Students who aren't able to be responsible on field trips?
I would suggest tightening up the story a bit by clearing out some of the extraneous stuff and pulling the story full-circle.
Candy Apple Red Corvette (Short Story) - 10/22/2005 4:09:12 PM
enjoyed the read
Candy Apple Red Corvette (Short Story) - 10/9/2005 10:38:58 PM
Patrice, you are lean and mean!! What happens next? How could leave a girl hanging like this? Grr ... Jokes aside, a good captivating write, Patrice! Hope there is a continuation though.
A Teacher's Mirage (Short Story) - 8/18/2005 10:50:05 AM
This gives interesting insight on a teacher's life. Actually, to me it seems like a personal essay or autobiography.
Suggestions: The ending leaves things hanging a bit. Maybe work on resolving some of the questions--you could do this with fiction, even if the rest is fact.
In the last third of the essay, some of the information from the beginning is repeated--the signed permission forms, the preparations, etc. Maybe refer to the preparations that were made without repeating the details.
Good job, though; it's clear, well-written, and interesting.
A Teacher's Mirage (Short Story) - 6/14/2005 9:06:45 AM
excellent story, patrice; very well done!
(((HUGS))) and love, your tx. friend, karen lynn. :D
What Can I Say? (Short Story) - 4/26/2003 8:23:45 AM
good write about unanswered questions all must face when dealing with an aging parent. your mother is a very pretty woman, and so are you. god bless you both, and may he give you both the strength to go on! love, your friend, karen lynn in texas. (((HUGS))) :)
Facts and Opinions About Poetry.com (Article) - 9/16/2008 3:28:40 PM
I wrote a poem once for poetry.com, and was invited to go to Las Vegas to see Tony Danza, have my poetry read, I was going to receive an award for free (with just $149.00 shipping) I could receive a three CD set with my poem read by a professional. All I did was buy the book my poem was in. The rest of it I truly believe is hype. I kept getting offers and offers in my email, and I got sick of it. It was one poem and not even that good. I'm glad this was bought up. I also got a letter from "Noble House" wanting to print my poetry, but before I did anything, I found out it was the biggest scam around. Thanks for letting me vent.
Facts and Opinions About Poetry.com (Article) - 4/22/2008 11:18:51 AM
I have submitted and been "published." Seems no harm in that, but luckily their relentless appeal to vanity has always made me feel queasy, hence they've gotten not one red cent from me. Not that I have one to give anyway... I suppose that makes it a bit easier.
Facts and Opinions About Poetry.com (Article) - 11/10/2007 1:40:03 PM
I am sorry to have to say, Patrice, that Poetry.com exploits the writer's need for acceptance and praise, and darn it all...so far, they do it within legal parameters! But that doesn;t make them any less dirty.
The only good thing to come from entering your poems to Poetry.com's anthologies is that now you can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you ARE a published poet! Just don't tell any RESPECTABLE editor where it was you appeared in print..lol.
Facts and Opinions About Poetry.com (Article) - 8/6/2007 10:07:15 PM
I have also recieved letters from poetry.com saying that I have won all these awards. The first time I got a letter about having my poem published, I was completely thrilled. I tookup on the offer and dropped $50 to get my poem published. I then got another offer and dropped $50 more to get another poem published. My books came in and it turns out that if you send in money, your poem gets on the front page. I got 2 books, that were supposed to be 2 -different- books) but they were the exact same. One had one poem and the other had my other poem, but the rest of the books were the exact same. I spent $100 to get 2 books, that are not sold anywhere but to poets in the book, that were pretty much the same book.
Poetry.com did a great job at making me feel amazing about myself, then ripping that good feeling away. I felt as if I was scammed, but some people might be able to find the tricks around them. So, when it comes to scams, in my experience-poetry.com is all about OUR money.
Facts and Opinions About Poetry.com (Article) - 2/24/2007 2:10:09 AM
Patrice, there probably are very few of us who has not had a poem or two published in the Poetry.com anthologies, and paid to buy a copy of that book, and received all of the letters of congratulation and (of course) invitations to upcoming conventions. Scam? It depends on how you look at it. Poetry.com, like PublishAmerica, is in business to make money, and they do a wonderful job of accomplishing that goal. And they do offer a beginning poet the opportunity to hold a thick book in their hands -- with one of their poems in it! I still have my copy of the one anthology I bought, and I still have trouble finding my poem in that small type-face Poetry.com uses to scrunch as many poems as possible into each page. Ah ... lesson learned.
Facts and Opinions About Poetry.com (Article) - 1/5/2007 7:06:26 PM
i agree with both kisha and cristine. unless u just want to spend some money & have a good social time, don't do it. if u r looking 4 interaction with other poets, writers, etc. why not take writing courses at a local univ. or college? there u will get real feedback from peers and u will give feedback. these r just my thoughts we all r vain kisha is surely on the right track aside from the interaction u get on AD and writing.com there just isn't much else available. Also, why not write to some author u really love reading and tell them u love their work, etc. Once i wrote to Ann Rule and she wrote me a letter back. Was i dizzy for a few days, though i didn't save it. still,...good luck i also teach ESL in Colombia--if u want action, go there and teach! cheers
My Personal War About the War (Article) - 10/22/2005 4:10:12 PM
Real Time Iraq (Article) - 10/9/2005 6:07:43 PM
Real Time Iraq (Article) - 10/6/2005 2:33:36 PM
I question the role of the media in shaping public opinion. Although we are a country of free speakers, we often choose not to listen openly, proactively, to what is being said. Relevant facts so often become blurry background noise.
I agree with this statement, which you made before, and don't think anything has changed. This administration seems to work on the premise you can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, and if they devote their lives to it, they can convince the biggest fools to spread their foolishness rather than admit they have been fooled. The truth is, no matter a person tries to live around it, in the end they will be responsible for their own foolishess and that they spread.
Real Time Iraq (Article) - 10/6/2005 12:04:40 PM
I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish with this. Very good questions, yes, but are there answers? Like, do we have the right to change, or attempt to change, their culture? Yes, very good questions, indeed.
Death to Resurrection (Article) - 9/17/2005 7:09:50 PM
Timely and needed information ... presented clearly and with the warm tone of caring.
My Personal War About the War (Article) - 9/17/2005 7:08:04 PM
I came across "Death to Resurrection" in the current works and then started wandering through your den ... I'll be back!
Facts and Opinions About Poetry.com (Article) - 8/21/2005 8:05:51 PM
Haha... no I am not laughing at your situation; I am laughing at mine. I entered one poem in the poetry.com contest, did not win (of course :}), however I was chosen as a semi-finalist with my "outstanding poetry". I, lusting for validation of my poetry skills (which I wasn't sure I had), recieved the letter in the mail. I was thrilled. I sent my $49.95 plus shipping and handling to the International Society of Poets and recieved my poem, on a "deluxe hardbond edition featuring my poetry on a page to itself" as the letter so proudly stated. And to top things off it was on the first page of the book. Have you ever heard the phrase "if it's to good to be true then it probably is"? I totally agree with that statement and dealing with poetry.com. I was already weary of the forty-nine dollars. But what took the cake was when they invited me to the convention. I did not have the money. They wrote me another letter stating that if I paid a fee they would have my poem read by a professional poet. I am the poet... that's as professional as it get. When it was too late for me to go to the convention(because I did not reply), they wrote me again to let me know that they would be sending me awards(for being such a great poet). However, I had to pay a large shipping and handling fee for "such bulky" awards.Who wants that kind of award? These are my personal experiences,I cannot speak for anyone but myself. It is your choice, but I would be very very weary of spending any amount of money on this group. Sorry my comment is so long.And remember if you deserve a award for your work then you should recieve just that and not have to pay for it. So don't feel bad about being a little vain, every poet (including myself) wonder if they have any talent and that is where the trap comes in... Sorry my comment is so long.
Facts and Opinions About Poetry.com (Article) - 8/18/2005 9:52:38 PM
Yes, it's a scam. If you do a search on google, you'll see personal testimony from others who have been to the convention and felt scammed.
People have intentionally written gibberish poems, and over the top bad poetry, and even poetry that is actually about how poetry.com is a scam--and they still get the mail and email about how their poem has been carefully reviewed and selected for its quality. Which means they don't actually READ the poems there. They just send a form letter to everyone who submits.
About Research and Writing (Article) - 8/18/2005 10:23:12 AM
I'd like to read your article. The picture format seems to be throwing things off though--the picture is blocking the article for the first few paragraphs.
From the Sidelines, On the Draft (Article) - 5/3/2003 1:05:03 PM
First, we did not enter the war as a "conqueror of the oppressed". Second, there will never be another draft. My opinion of national conscription is summed up by a quote by Robert Heinlein, in which he says, "I also think there are prices too high to pay to save the United States. Conscription is one of them. Conscription is slavery, and I don't think any people or nation has a right to save itself at the price of slavery for anyone, no matter what name it is called. We have had the draft for twenty years now and I think this is shameful. IF A COUNTRY CAN'T SAVE ITSELF THROUGH THE VOLUNTEER SERVICE OF ITS OWN FREE PEOPLE THEN I SAY LET THE DAMNED THING GO DOWN THE DRAIN!" [emphasis added]
The current state of citizenry in the United States is a far cry from what it was fifty or even two hundred years ago. Many of them are too selfish to even be able to cope with the sacrifice necessary in military service.
Also, the United States is "occupying" far more than one country as peacekeepers. Under Clinton, we added Bosnia and Kosovo to the list of countries we "occupied" as peacekeepers. Under Carter, we added Egypt, where we still maintain a troop presence in the Sinai as observers. We have U.S. troops assisting the UN clear mines in Cambodia. U.S. troops, of course, are now in Iraq and Afghanistan. For the past decade, they had been in Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and other Gulf States.
Today's youth, as they pursue their personal goals and begin to accumulate wealth and material possessions need worry little about having to give a few years of their lives to serve their country. No, there are far better men and women who are doing so voluntarily.
It Was Always Burnin' (Poetry) - 7/24/2007 9:23:11 AM
Good for you <>Absorbing & squeezing -well meant love <>Ted
The Distance Between (Poetry) - 3/2/2007 1:56:17 PM
"You need not fix my problems
As they aren't yours to mend."
Profound statement Patrice!
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 2/3/2007 6:05:18 AM
Clear the old stuff..make room for glorious new scenarios..
wondrous write indeed..
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 1/12/2007 3:15:57 PM
cute story and a well written poem...enjoyed the read...
Wishing you well...
Idiot Lights (Poetry) - 11/3/2006 5:40:43 PM
Witty stuff, Patrice. I was told by a mechanic once that, when the "idiot lights" come on, the damage is already done. Thank you for sharing this. Love and peace to you,
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 11/3/2006 5:39:02 PM
I like the way you expressed your sentiments in this poem. In many ways, I can relate. Love and peace to you,
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 8/3/2006 2:21:27 PM
You can aleays make some neww memories?
Idiot Lights (Poetry) - 7/3/2006 6:20:34 PM
I love your 2 idiots instead of one. Marvelous write.
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 7/3/2006 6:16:48 PM
I love your poetry.
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 6/14/2006 9:13:37 AM
IT HAS BEEN A PLEASURE TO READ SUCH FINE WORK.
Dock of the Bay (Poetry) - 4/6/2006 9:24:20 PM
Sis Patrice: You sure did a kind and thoughtful honor in poetics writing from the heart of rhythms by the late great Otis Redding's song.
cynth'ya lewis reed
Numb (Poetry) - 3/19/2006 1:38:34 PM
The ironic thing about about human diasters as well as natural diasters is that you"never, never know!" Blessings, Roger and Birgit
The Distance Between (Poetry) - 12/31/2005 10:54:27 PM
To thine own self be true. Beautiful!!!!!!!
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 12/31/2005 10:53:25 PM
I really like this!
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 10/10/2005 4:19:47 AM
You write very well in this one. And, in doing so, you've elevated the T-shirt to a level I've never imagined. Taking your words for it, I suspect that being the gender you are, you've put far more into a little 'ole T-shirt that I ever could! Vive la femme! - Bill (with rusty French)
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 10/9/2005 10:26:49 AM
sounds like you had a lot of fun with alliteration on this one! each tshirt holds a memory, no?
My Old T-Shirts (Poetry) - 10/9/2005 10:02:23 AM
Never wear em myself. Lots of alliteration. Original subject.
Idiot Lights (Poetry) - 9/18/2005 6:14:27 PM
this is great ... luved it ...
Idiot Lights (Poetry) - 9/18/2005 10:56:14 AM
An enjoyable reading through the lines of "Idiot Lights".
An artistic composition developing its Poetry's task and
delivering a wise-witty story to instruct and enchant.
I salute You, Poet!
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
Idiot Lights (Poetry) - 9/17/2005 8:49:38 PM
The odds are better
. . . with two idiots instead of one.
LOL.. thanks so much. This was fun, and you gave me the incentive I need to start dating.
Idiot Lights (Poetry) - 9/17/2005 7:25:52 PM
Go buy URSELF Set Of Aftermarket Gauges:
The Distance Between (Poetry) - 9/15/2005 7:09:15 AM
solid, convincing writing, Patrice. enjoyed. Dawn
The Distance Between (Poetry) - 9/15/2005 4:59:54 AM
Makes one feel imprisoned without the bars. Lonely but not alone. Just like having the cake without the frosting. This begs screams acknowledgement. Well written.
But, When You Said (Poetry) - 9/14/2005 2:43:44 AM
Your poem brings two words to mind, communication and commitment. One can be all that they are and more.
Circus Circuits (Poetry) - 8/31/2005 7:55:46 PM
What a great description of the mind - and I think you answered your own question - the mind certainly can and does 'crash'! Thanks for sharing!
Painted Over Graffitti (Poetry) - 7/13/2005 3:44:08 PM
Powerful and emotive, sharing past and present woes and dreams. Wonderful! If only this message could hit where it's needed.
Painted Over Graffitti (Poetry) - 6/15/2005 2:53:53 AM
No lessons learned,
Old leaves not even turned.
No values passed between
Because values, then,
Weren't the popular thing,
To be in, with it, man.
Can you dig it?
Thank a lot for sharing this gem...this goes into my library...love n luck....BHUWAN!!!
Painted Over Graffitti (Poetry) - 6/13/2005 7:57:46 PM
I love this.
I've seen some wise words in graffitti. It should be left for future generations to read.
When I think how I behaved as a youth. Todays youth behaves better.
No Mods V Rockers at Brighton beach, punks.
Your ending is right on the money...
Dock of the Bay (Poetry) - 9/18/2004 4:47:57 AM
Residing next to the beach, there are a hundred docks in the marinas nearby and indeed, there is quite a numbered menagerie of people as well as the sea birds who sit on the docks and keep them company. *smile*
A lovely creative poem and a great song!
The Grandfather You'll Never Know (Poetry) - 3/19/2004 11:16:38 AM
I really liked this poem Patrice. Your dad was really blessed with to have a daughter like you.
My dad died when I was 21 and my kids have never known him. Thank God for faith, hope and love and an eternity filled with it.
Keep the faith your best days are ahead of you.
God Bless You and Your Loved Ones,
Officer William Heffner
Dock of the Bay (Poetry) - 9/22/2003 8:44:35 AM
A nice poem.Very well written.
Circus Circuits (Poetry) - 9/8/2003 3:32:52 AM
This one does have an interesting flow behind it. Sometimes makes you wonder how does a brain crash to begin with.
Dock of the Bay (Poetry) - 4/26/2003 1:07:13 PM
Well done !!!
Dock of the Bay (Poetry) - 4/26/2003 5:52:41 AM
One of my favorite songs, as well, but I have yet to reach my dock of the bay.
Dock of the Bay (Poetry) - 4/26/2003 5:43:07 AM
This was always one of my favorite songs to listen too and your poem is exceptional too.
Dock of the Bay (Poetry) - 4/26/2003 4:58:44 AM
I sit at that dock quite often.. NOW you have the song running through my head .. Will be there all day.. LOL.. This was beautiful!
Circus Circuits (Poetry) - 4/26/2003 1:22:29 AM
all depends how and where you crash...guess your havea great recovery system...
Circus Circuits (Poetry) - 4/26/2003 1:18:00 AM
I like the flow and sound of:
grains of sand . . .
layers of land
The Grandfather You'll Never Know (Poetry) - 4/26/2003 12:31:01 AM
This is so sweet. Thank heavens for memories. They do sustain us. Bravo on a fine work.