Recent Reviews for Michael Hebler
Hunt for the Chupacabra (Book) - 7/19/2011 11:45:05 AM|
Reviews from Triggerstreet.com:
CHUPACABRAS ARE AWESOME...
review by HeyJude1990
I've always been interested in different legends, such as Loch Ness, Bigfoot, etc. So, I was excited to find that I was assigned this story. I think the Chupacabra is really good subject matter, it seems to be not talked about quite as much as other myths. And I liked the extra layer of story you added, by not putting this in a modern setting, but having a confederate soldier as the main character, attempting to avenge his son's murder.
One discretion I have, I kinda wish you had explained more about his son's death. How exactly did it happen? Maybe Calvin was off doing something else, when the attack happened? And that's why he feels extra responsible and guilty about the incident?
Overall, a really awesome short story. I especially liked the ending, that little twist you added at the end. Great job!
BRIEF BUT WELL WRITTEN PROLOGUE
review by nickomahoney
Not so much a short story but, as mentioned in the production notes, a prologue for a larger project.
This is a well written piece, rich in detail, narrative and descriptions. Calvin's hunt for the mysterious beast has the right tone and set-piece for something of this genre.
However its difficult to give it an overall review seeing its not so much a self-contained narrative but more of a setup for a much larger plot.
Despite the demise of the lead character, the story is still unresolved seeing there is no real closure on the beast (I'm sure this will come later)
Overall its definitely an interesting start and I wish you luck on the whole project
HUNT FOR THE CHUPACABRA
review by G.R.Q.S.
‘Hunt for the Chupacabra’ is a Sci-fi thriller with elements on horror and western genre’s about an ex-confederate army tracker (Calvin Hawte) who crosses the desert in search of the creature that killed his seven year old son.
With good descriptive text and imagery the writing is lean and purposeful as the story builds to an exciting climax. The story doesn’t drag and is just about the right length. The revenge set up is handled well and the short story flows well to it’s conclusion.
I’d be interested to see how this played out if it was written in the first person instead of the third. I like stories with one central character who features in every scene to be from first person perspective but that’s just personal taste. I would’ve liked the hero to have killed the beast at the end even if he’d lost his own life in the process but that’s just me.
Nicely written story, well worth a read.
JUST DIE, CHUPACABRA, DIE!
review by nick74
Nicely done. Technically, Chupacabra is an example of a well-executed story. As for form and structure you have created a showcase that most on this site would benefit from reading, myself included. The sentences move forward like footsteps on a path, each one leading the reader down the trail toward literary enlightenment.
Your action is clean, almost simplistic in its nature, pulls your reader in, and unfolds the plot with great accuracy while never stumbling over its own telling. As such, you employ a great tool to heighten tension: foreshadowing. The little bomb about how "it" wasn't a man he was chasing, and how it treaded along on two feet after getting its other two "blown off", and "creature that had murdered his son" are instances that develop a mysterious want-to-know-more in your audience. Nice touch.
A few interesting points:
pg 1 - Did Union soldiers move in "squadrons?"
pg 5 - the use of "to this very day" halted my comprehension of time lines.
pg 6 - "He only waited but another second before a second small splash..." Tricky verbiage. Perhaps "moment" would serve here.
Technique aside, "Hunt for the Chupacabra" does leave me with one or two questions, each dealing with myth and story. The Chupacabra, as I've always known, is a creature roughly like a medium-sized dog that sucked goat blood and was known for its ability to evade a hunter. Though this last point holds true in the story, the myth was altered the slightest bit in the telling. Some distinguishing prose on this point might serve not only to dilute your doubters, but also heighten the tension even more so than you quite brilliantly did. Now, the Chupacabra is as big as a man, dwells in water, and kills horses, too. Knowing that earlier on would transmit a bit more threat and danger to Calvin's pursuit, and in turn, the reader as well, while alleviating doubt that a Chupacabra could kill his son (even though I suppose the original creature of myth could, as well).
Also, the sense of mission is very well-placed in the story. We know what and why Calvin does what he does, but a theme doesn't begin to unfold until the final two paragraphs. His internalization about wanting to find the Chupacabra at all costs, not concerning himself with the outcome, but rather justifying it one way or the other, would go further, especially once the reader reaches that final page, if it were related earlier on, too. As it is, it almost reads like the decision was made to end the writing of the story thereby conducting the end of the story accordingly. I like the ending for its unpredictability and its closure, but drawing those emotional elements throughout the entire story would create a richer thematic closing.
In spite of my critical input, which I'm afraid will sound more devastating to my experience of this story than it actually was, I found Chupacabra's 9 pages to read more like three. It's well said, well put together, and a story for serious readers to take seriously.