The Kaysk (Short Story) - 3/23/2007 3:27:22 PM
I think is very strong writing, the best I have seen on this site so far. I like that you are taking time with the narrative and not rushing through it. Your descriptions are very well done. The only thing that doesn't work very well for me is the POV jumps mid-scene -- both in the opening paragraphs and then the longer scene that follows. Do you need Alonso's POV, or would just Dirk's suffice?