For Quincy (Poetry) - 4/20/2007 1:06:40 AM
This is an great expression of the raw emotions of loss, keep tapping into this well.
Attacked! (Poetry) - 4/20/2007 1:04:32 AM
This is much better than the first piece I read, keep up the form and content improvement.
emmanuel lynn francis a life 2007 (Poetry) - 4/20/2007 1:02:55 AM
While the effort is to be applauded, my most pressing comment is that this should have had an "adult" rating. Slice of life is very hard to master,but you are well on your way. Keep working at it, and try to put things in poetic form it's easier for the reader to know where to stop and pause and it give structure to the piece.
Keep working at this and you'll be surprised at the progress you can make.
See you at the next poetry jam.