Hunted (Short Story) - 8/4/2015 12:03:49 PM
I went along for the ride of a read and feel you were in taut control of dispensing the suspense and perpetrating the horror of Gemma's dilemma.
Telepaths (Short Story) - 8/4/2015 4:53:21 AM
WhoYour story represents a kind of adolescent destructive mentality that is so popular in pop culture and sells movies these days. Highly unrealistic and wishful thinking against authority with no redeeming value that great stories have. Revenge is not a redeeming value.
The writing is also jerky and stilted. It may be an attempt at a style that some very good writers use, but it comes off badly. As a guy who's read many papers and stories, I clearly understood your storyline anyway. In addition, there are many wrong words, starting with using "then" instead of "than." This may be the result of using a voice dictation system that sometimes chooses the wrong words like "there" when you really mean "their." A good editing can correct these words, but it would take a rewriting to have your story read like Cormac McCarthy's writing.