Recent Reviews for Edmund Jonah
YESHUA! (Book) - 10/14/2007 10:07:15 PM|
Edmund, I see that you've done a ton of research, and your story is vivid, and your characters real and rounded. I find Yeshua and his teacher to be very likeable, and feel a great teacher/learner chemestry brewing there. Critically: The quote from Isaiah 1:11 -- I doubt Rabbi David would have used that particular one (seeings as how in context it's clearly in reference to "vain oblations" given in Sodom and Gomorrah)-- However, the Rabbi's words are full of wisdom and hope. That's what the reader feels. As far as Yeshua is concerned, reading it as a practicing Christian, I was not offended at all -- which I'm sure took a lot of skill.
Yes, I'm interested in reading this book. You did a great job, and I mean that sincerely. --Charlie
THE KISS (Short Story) - 2/24/2008 4:29:08 AM
Like Love's Other Face I liked this one too. I just felt you were too fast with the girl. Who was she? Why the smile of triump if she was just a stranger? I truly am slow today huh? Lol.
God bless, Edmund!
LOVE'S OTHER FACE (Short Story) - 2/24/2008 3:50:51 AM
Maybe it's the lazy mood I am in that has made me slow ... but I got lost in the end a little, Edmund.
THE KISS (Short Story) - 10/13/2007 9:28:24 AM
Mr. Johah, this is a wonderful mix of mayhem, and mystery--I love how you ended it on a confused note--like we're inside the boy's mind wondering, and yet outside knowing, and refusing to tell (it's too painful to tell the truth to that inocent young man) You'll need to add something to the father to make us like him a little--show he has compassion, and add something to the girl to make us not like her--perhaps a sly look, an all-to-ready to show dad attitude (more slut-like) Great story--Charlie
LOVE'S OTHER FACE (Short Story) - 10/13/2007 9:19:16 AM
Twilight zone bazaar relationships!-- I'll admit I'm homophobic -- and everything but heterophobic. So I think I got cooties reading this. The American: I hope you intended for us not to like him. I didn't. Everything he "got" from the others was had through deceit. The others: My mind screamed at them in the end -- They got taken. --Charlie
LOVE'S OTHER FACE (Short Story) - 10/11/2007 9:22:27 AM
Weird ending. The characters and circumstances were well put together and expressed but I didn't see that ending coming. Not a bad one just, unexpected which means it was good none the less. Top Job dude.
Charles D. O'Connor III "Check out my story "AN Occurrence One Evening" Good and bad comments are welcome. Take Care.
THE BOMBSHELL (Short Story) - 10/7/2007 8:41:24 PM
Awesome! Leslie the ghost writer--disappears and everything.--Charlie
A SHAKE-UP OF SHAKESPEARE'S SHYLOCK (Article) - 10/22/2007 2:19:55 PM
Well Edmund, you've got a very convincing essay here. Anti-Semite? I don't think so either. I, like you, believe Shakespear was toying with his audience -- dumbing up their perceptions. He has a knack for exagerating beliefs to the rediculous, and here he does the same thing. He's made the Christians "unChristian-like, and the opposite with Shy -- He remains the one who is most human. The irony is that in all the big joke they were playing on him, and their jokes did make the audience laugh -- still do -- it is an uncomfortable laughter, because one cannot escape the deep humanity of Sylock, and the disquieting feeling that they are laughing at themselves. And I came away from the play feeling the injustice -- the lack of mercy that was played out upon him. --Charlie
JESUS, THE MESSIAH? (Article) - 10/14/2007 9:04:47 AM
This is a good piece to read right now, with the world in turmoil over holy quests. You've got some great insight into religion in its purer form.
Readers should consider this: Are not today's Christianity and today's Judaism an evolution from Jesus the Christ and Judah of Israel? Was Judah's religion an evolution from father Abraham's? Could it be said that Islam evolved from the same?
I see my country adding layer upon layer to it's founding documents--hold down the backspace button through 2 hundred years and we'd find a purer democracy.
Even Christianity has a thousand forms or more--restarted uncountable times because of layers of evolution.
Hold that backspace button down through 3 thousand more years and we'd see religions streaming together--light converging.
Personally, I believe this will happen in reverse. Hold that forward button down till the Mesiah comes (again for me--finally for others--shockingly for the unbeliever) and we'll see the same light converging -- truths streaming together at an incredible pace. Maybe then we'll all just be children of Israel, tribed out, but all believing in the One True Being.
Respectfully, Charlie (somewhere inbetween a Jew and a Christian)
side note for Edmund: incidently, you put the word "transgression" where I think you meant "transcription" or "inscription."
JESUS, THE MESSIAH? (Article) - 10/10/2007 1:26:54 PM
Mr. Trask did not review my work. He just made some childish remarks against the Jewish people which shows the kind of man he is.
JESUS, THE MESSIAH? (Article) - 10/9/2007 6:47:55 PM
Simple All Above:
Jesus Was Sold By Jewish Hi Priests To Romans For Gold Money $...
Then: Moses Frees And Saves Them--Comes Back From Mountain After Meeting (God) All Jews Are Partying...
Now: 2007 What Can I Add -They Are Still $ Partying $...
CIRCLES (Poetry) - 8/20/2008 3:53:03 AM
Wow! Most of us think of life as linear...yet your words make perfect sense! Thanks for sharing this!
THE HINDU'S LAMENT (Poetry) - 8/11/2008 9:31:22 AM
This works very well. It's difficult to write about grief, as too often we wind up with sappy sentiments dripping from every line, undoing everything we intended to do in the beginning. But this works.
This is a ballad mixed with a chant. The lines are well-metered (which is highly underrated these days), and the rhyme, though sharp, is not too obvious. Here's an example: "Can I endure my life/ When my dear, dear wife / Is ashes, Bhagwan?" Carrying on the phrasing from line to line, instead of ending each sentence with an end-rhyme, hides the rhyme, there's still a nice cadence when reading out loud, and the meaning comes out full-bloom.
The repitition of the chanting underlines the emotion instead of milking it. And on the whole, the reader can not help but feel something of the same emotion.
CIRCLES (Poetry) - 7/28/2008 9:01:46 AM
I did not know you wrote poetry. This is excellent!
The repitition makes the words swirl 'round and around your brain, making circular, intellectual whirls. --flawless meter and great format. --Charlie
William Re-Shakespeared (Poetry) - 10/8/2007 1:14:16 PM
A reframing too, of the shrew you slew.--Charlie