Recent Reviews for Rachel M Summerhill
Regeneration (Short Story) - 10/20/2007 4:02:50 AM|
Excellent story; very well penned! BRAVA! :)
Perish (Short Story) - 10/20/2007 4:02:12 AM
Compelling and riveting story; very well written! BRAVA! :)
Regeneration (Short Story) - 10/19/2007 11:07:28 PM
I'm a poet. I read like a poet. I chew on every word, but this is a good story. You've a good chance at winning that contest. I hope you're like me and enjoy constructive criticism. If not, message me, and I'll edit my review. How to make it better: I did notice quite a few dead words. They'd interject themselves in the story and slow down the pace of movement. But that's an easy fix. Try reading it outloud. If the word doesn't move the story along, cut it out. For example, in the first sentence you don't have to say the "tomb called...", just say "thru the Sepulcher..."--you already clarify it's a tomb a little later. Your readers are used to Sci-Fi. They're pretty smart. Act like they know what you're talking about. That way they can absorb themselves in Isul's world. One other thing. Careful on the vernacular. Their speach should be natural--each with his/her own personality. On the whole, I think you've got a great shot. Speed up the pace a little, and "talk normal". --Charlie
The Martyr (Poetry) - 10/20/2007 4:38:34 AM
Gotta love it!!! Grusome to the nth . . . Poe would have been startled and the raven would have crashed through the window if this were read aloud to them . . . Halloweenish? Nope, but it IS deep and it IS a tremendous read . . .
The Martyr (Poetry) - 10/19/2007 5:23:28 PM
The primal screams of days gone by intertwined with today in a tale of spiritual intrigue....
The Martyr (Poetry) - 10/19/2007 12:57:58 PM
interesting and vivid imagery in this...great use of allagory and metaphor...What I also like here is the layers of iterpetation...this could as easily be a tale of a love gone bad to a spiritual and or religious offering. Splendid work here.
The Martyr (Poetry) - 10/19/2007 8:36:30 AM
I enjoyed this dark brooding piece.
Good job and welcome to AD.