Recent Reviews for Ahmad Hj Abang
Sad songs in the rain  (Short Story) - 6/6/2010 3:20:15 PM|
Intriguing story. It held my interest! Plus I DO enjoy listening to the rain.
Ramblings of a wayfarer  (Poetry) - 6/5/2010 8:19:15 PM
This is making me think about the truths of life, what a very wise poem!
I hope there is a part 2, I would like to read more.
A Clan's Political Tryst. (Poetry) - 3/22/2009 11:28:01 AM
Excellent. A very true statement at the highest level of literature.
The Poet And Mother Mouse (Poetry) - 3/22/2009 11:25:54 AM
Very good, sir! An impressive poem, full of soul and ironically-precise observation.
A Grave, A Rose (Poetry) - 3/22/2009 11:23:24 AM
Very beautiful. Very beautiful.
Death and The Musician (Poetry) - 3/22/2009 11:18:57 AM
A very strong, skillfully evoked contrast. In presenting the joy of the musician's first performance as bound to and intermingled with the experience of death, you illuminate the character of life as a circle closed within itself.
Music by nature is a sensation very closely akin to death, as is joy, for the spirit, in elevation, goes beyond the limits of individual existence.
They Ask Me Why. (Poetry) - 9/20/2008 8:09:59 AM
I like the powerful statement and the end of the last line to seal the verse...
Ramblings Of October. (Poetry) - 8/4/2008 11:18:32 AM
October is always filled with the "ramblings" of nature. You have a beautiful and clear way of teaching important lessons and making a philosophical point.
The Missing Symphony. (Poetry) - 8/4/2008 11:17:11 AM
Another beautiful and well written piece. I will track your work, and look forward to reading more!
The Old Bed. (Poetry) - 8/4/2008 11:15:54 AM
It is true. An old bed holds so many memories. It is the bed that has seen tears, laughter, illness, love, joy, and being weary. If a bed could speak, it would tell thousands of stories. The older the bed, the more comfortable it seems.
Droplets On The Window Pane. (Poetry) - 8/4/2008 11:14:39 AM
This poem is full of emotion and beauty! Your word choices are eloquent and touch the heart!
The Flip Flops (Poetry) - 8/3/2008 2:00:37 PM
Intriguing, but unfathomed by my meager mind.
Droplets On The Window Pane. (Poetry) - 8/3/2008 5:39:56 AM
Powerfully sad, Ahmad.
Droplets On The Window Pane. (Poetry) - 8/2/2008 1:08:05 PM
I am saddened by the emotive passions expressed within the words of your wisdoms
The sorrow I feel of the sands painted crimson...
if only the droplets could collect for the purity to cleanse & wash the renewals of all of us...
Much Love & Peace To You
Embraced ~ Embrassť
Droplets On The Window Pane. (Poetry) - 8/2/2008 10:52:57 AM
This is powerful poetry that gives the reader pause for thought. Thank you for sharing, Ahmad. Love and peace to you,
Droplets On The Window Pane. (Poetry) - 8/2/2008 10:45:18 AM
Leaves you with a lot to think about. Beautifully written.
Droplets On The Window Pane. (Poetry) - 8/2/2008 10:12:45 AM
This is really powerful...leaves me pondering the state of us all. Thank you!
The Missing Symphony. (Poetry) - 8/1/2008 6:07:32 PM
Shimmering, translucent. This is a lovely story of life, love and tragedy.
A Clan's Political Tryst. (Poetry) - 1/9/2008 11:54:45 PM
I think I see where you're going with this. They're around a bon fire, each in turn stand out against the flames, while the others are in shadow... I hope I'm right here. If I am, I love the idea-- tribal members of the politician clan dancing in and sizzling in turn-- but I don't think this poem is quite "there" yet. I can't understand what "shunt that ever-moving seconds" means, nor the ending from "he is the enclosed...." to the end. I think the ending is just a matter of absent prepositions, and maybe different word choices in the "shunt" line. Good luck! --Charlie
Lamentations From A Barren Land (Poetry) - 12/30/2007 3:49:52 AM
THis is such a powerful piece, that even I, a Christian, cannot help but to feel the angst of this poem. And your word choice is immaculate. You talk of killing baby girls and women, and then two lines later, you use the pronoun contraction "who're"-- it's a tiny, subliminal reminder of the said injustices, "whore" being a related expletive yelled at the same sex (another injustice)! Your choice of the word "sow" instead of build, is also very canny. It conjures up visuals of a planter reaping his harvest: in this case "fenses". I also love the word "plods" here. It insinuates that it's a long, difficult, and wearying journey, but that it's also a necessary and rewarding one because it's a "tryst". There is so much more about this poem that makes it "work" on many levels. The mood and atmosphere, and strong beginning lines that sound so agonizing.
Nit-picks: There are a few missed conjugations (very easily fixed). Plural nouns don't get an "s" on their verbs, and singular ones do. Therefore, the "s" and no "s" in line 16 should change places: "grains of sand still lament", and line 5 should slightly be ammended to read "to grasp", and likewise, an "e" instead of an "a" in "woman" line 10--although that's not absolutely necessary if "woman" is with a capital "W", as that too can mean womankind, although it is a little out-dated and a bit clunky.
A truly great write! Take care, Charlie
Ramblings Of October. (Poetry) - 12/26/2007 7:09:32 AM
Very good philosophical point! --Charlie
Death and The Musician (Poetry) - 12/25/2007 2:53:41 PM
Absolutely chilling! Hamming it up at a funeral, bathed in flowers for the dead... Great idea, and it carries very well. I'll nit-pick about the word "to" however. --Funny what a tiny little preposition can do... "to" somehow requires many, many more flowers than an "at" would. Either way, it makes quite an image. "to" would be flowers flowing from a starting point (probably a coffin) all the way "to" him. "at" would mean his feet were surrounded by flowers... I hope you enjoy writing in English-- I'm enjoying reading your highly creative poems. Write on... --Charlie
Death and The Musician (Poetry) - 12/24/2007 3:45:34 PM
That would be tuff for me..
Have a Very Merry Christmas & a Prosperous, Great 2008
Death and The Musician (Poetry) - 12/24/2007 7:29:03 AM
This was a nice display of expression
The Old Bed. (Poetry) - 12/23/2007 10:04:36 PM
This is just rife with imagery and energy. I think my cultural background keeps me from understanding it fully, though. I do not know what the "clucking lizard above, smil[ing]" means, but for all that, I like him there. Is he an omen, an archetype, or a folk lore? I'd really like to know.
I love "unreliable infinity" -- great word combination! --Seems like I'm always relying on infinity to complete my story. The line I always quote is this: "I'll sleep when I'm dead!" And I run around doing, doing, doing, and never getting anything done. "Infinity will take care of that while I'm sleeping"-- I'm always telling myself this. So that line speaks volumes to me.
Your creaky bed is a great subject to write about-- I love the stains of old dreams on the matress (great visuals!)
There are a couple of word conjugations that need adjusting. Double-check them, and sure-up the tenses.
Take care. --Charlie
A Grave, A Rose (Poetry) - 12/21/2007 10:31:48 AM
Death and Re-birth, side by side.
A wonderful poem, Ahmad.
A Grave, A Rose (Poetry) - 12/21/2007 8:30:03 AM
The cycle of life,,This is Beautiful, quite peacful
A Grave, A Rose (Poetry) - 12/21/2007 8:28:11 AM
Very nice...a poem of hope with the symbol of new life in the waking buds.
Welcome to Authors' Den.
Little Brown Squirrel. (Poetry) - 12/20/2007 7:00:30 AM
Darling little poem. I've had a few experiences with a "little brown squirrel" I need to write about too... --Charlie