Recent Reviews for Fritz Barnes
Almost Home (Short Story) - 12/1/2009 6:01:13 PM|
I don't know if you're still checking in after all the blank space in your den, but I determined to review at least one time for every one of my trackers. Sooo, I liked the surprise ending, except of course, that it was so sad. (Glad I always had Bill to call for rescue when I locked the keys in the car.)
At a Writers' Workshop I attended, one editor admitted she looks for the surprise in a story. Otherwise, she just isn't interested. She would probably love this one.
I hope you are well and that you come back and resume writing before too long.
Almost Home (Short Story) - 7/25/2003 12:07:23 PM
NO! He did not have a key in his pocket! Tell me he didn't! This story is something we can all relate to- being locked out and exposed to the elements- with a not so happy ending. Enjoyable read with wonderful description. Lisa
Almost Home (Short Story) - 5/28/2003 12:32:48 PM
Ok, this story is CREATIVE and COLORFUL and remarkably DESCRIPTIVE. But I really think that those "jack-in-the-boxes" doesn't work for every story. Him having a spare key in his pocket is so unusual that it JUST DOESN'T fit the ending. People carry extra cash, extra credit cards, extra gum or guns, but NOT SPARE KEYS.
How about that the spare key fell beside him from it's hiding box on the front bumper? I don't know any people that carry spare keys in their pockets, but hiding it in a magnet box on the car-under the bumper, YES.
Other than that, I liked it!
Almost Home (Short Story) - 6/29/2002 3:43:06 PM
This story leaves me asking, "Why?" Why this particular ending?
Is the author's point that this reality is simply uncompromising ?
This story contradicts my own experiences that tell me when things lookk hopeless, some amazing resources seem to surface: bringing to mind the times when I was able to walk ten miles in a blizzard with holes in my boots and somehow made it intact
Or the times I shouldn't have logically survived, yet miraculously did
I particularly liked :
underdressed, as if by doing so he could encourage the arrival of springFurthermore, his own bladder gauge registered "Full" but he had been too stubborn to stop. Home in 20 minutes, he had told himself.
startling sting of cold raindrops on his face...
Almost Home (Short Story) - 6/24/2002 3:38:11 PM
When I look around me at the kind of people there are in the world, I realize that some people really are too stupid to think of breaking the window. Great story.
Almost Home (Short Story) - 6/19/2002 11:34:23 AM
From a person who has struggled to climb through a window when she was locked out of her house only to find her house key in her pants the next day, I believed it !
Almost Home (Short Story) - 5/2/2002 9:27:37 AM
Nice writing overall. I agree with several other people...why didn't he break the window? Or pick the lock? But I suppose that I could deal with his stupidity. My big problem was the ending, where they find the spare key in his pocket. A story should not depend on a surprise ending. It should be effective as a sum of all its parts, not just one part.
Almost Home (Short Story) - 4/25/2002 10:11:13 AM
First, this story reminds me of last November when I went to Sedona, Arizona to meet with an illustrator and a friend from an online journal workshop. During one afternoon, my husband at the time decided he wanted to drive up to Pike's Peak, a tiny little town tucked on the top of a mountain. My jacket lay in the back seat of the car when we set out for our sight seeing adventure. As the sun set, we decided to drive down the mountain before it got dark - but wouldn't ya know the keys to the rental car were INSIDE the rental car! It took more than two hours to get a locksmith to the top of the mountain to pop the lock - and by that time, we were FREEZING! I never saw the ending of this story coming, which means that in my opinion, you did a fantastic job of presenting the set up without giving away too many details. Who would have thought his spare key would have been right there in his pocket? I liked this story!
Almost Home (Short Story) - 4/23/2002 7:23:36 PM
Good story idea.
Almost Home (Short Story) - 4/23/2002 11:26:23 AM
Ouch! Boy this poor fellow should be the poster child for "Bad Luck". I suppose he could have broken the window, but with his luck he would cut his wrist and bleed to death! The mind does not work well in panic mode, so I find it believable that he would forget the key.
Bottom line, I was feelin for the guy, and that makes it a good read.
Almost Home (Short Story) - 4/23/2002 10:55:56 AM
Good story...I like the key, but why didn't he just break a window? This guy is a sure-fire winner of a Darwin Award! Its a little hard to believe from a pure stupidity point of view, but well written.
Parable of the Candle (Article) - 1/29/2008 5:00:32 PM
How sad! And to think, she only wanted to do better!
It's a good parable, though; I enjoyed reading it and it surely didn't take long!
Matrimonial "State of the Union" (Article) - 1/19/2008 10:20:02 AM
The Dance of Life (Article) - 1/19/2008 10:15:52 AM
Fritz, I am humbled by your writing, and by the way you have opened your heart to share this intensely personal story. You are extremely skilled in the art of expression.
When you used the phrase, "tank of love," I recognize it as one I have heard before. Was it Gary Smalley? I can't remember who I heard speaking on it. But I sense that you are a husband and father who gives his best to his family relationships.
God bless each of you as you dance.
The Dance of Life (Article) - 12/2/2007 8:06:03 AM
A truly touching and emotional read. You describe it well..."The Dance of Life". Well Done!
I Face the Mountain (Article) - 8/1/2007 11:49:15 AM
This is how I shall feel when I move.
Debt (Article) - 8/1/2007 11:39:30 AM
Debt means very little to me. I can never repay all the crimes that have been committed against me as a female.
The Dance of Life (Article) - 8/6/2006 5:55:51 AM
Debt (Article) - 3/28/2006 3:31:49 PM
This is so painfully true and insightful. Thanks for the reminder to cut up my cards. :)
The Dance of Life (Article) - 3/28/2006 3:30:08 PM
Fritz, what a poignant piece. You have a beautiful perspective and voice - no wonder your job description (love it) is to be a rock.
The Dance of Life (Article) - 3/24/2006 10:42:54 AM
Have faith in God implicitly, Fritz
He will never let you down..
I will pray for this girl's miraculous recovery from illness
Movers and Shakers (Article) - 2/17/2006 10:50:41 AM
HI DAD IT'S ME, ERIK! I am one of those little monsters that are talked about in this article. Oh yeah dad... sorry about that :)
To Catch a Thief In Africa (Article) - 2/22/2005 7:54:39 AM
This is an interesting read. I'm sure many people who have traveled in the third world can relate. My thief was a little girl with enormous brown eyes and tattered clothes. She was operating under the guidance of her mother. I felt her tiny hand slip inside my bag, groping for anything of value. I caught her wrist and said in my best voice of authority, "Stop!" She did, and they got off at the next stop without any of my belongings. I remember thinking, "What kind of life will this girl have?" One, I am certain, very different from my own.
I Face the Mountain (Article) - 2/22/2005 7:43:08 AM
Ah - the timeless metaphor of the mountain. The content reveals how many you've climbed (literally and figuratively) and that you think a lot about how it applies to "civilized" life. I can relate to this.
Matrimonial "State of the Union" (Article) - 2/22/2005 6:13:19 AM
Armor is a nut. But he has a great comment. You've hit the nail on the head, Fritz. My husband and I went to marriage counseling and the counselor said, "There's really nothing wrong with this marriage except, "Mr. Ex is closed and leaves Mrs. Ex. guessing. Your main problem is a communications issue."
We can point to all kinds of stuff wrong in a relationship: No cap on the toothpaste, you don't close cabinets, you didn't do the laundry, you don't help me with the kids, he's too fat, she's too skinny now, even we need more money, but the crux of destruction in marriages that fall apart where there is no major issue like an addiction problem or habitual domestic violence, is usually the same problem from the movie Cool Hand Luke--"What we have here is a failure to communicate."
In my case, as is probably in most cases, one partner had simply made the decision to not communicate because he wanted out. When that's not the case, and it's truly just the couple has fallen into the pattern of no communication, then the marriage can be saved. Folks just need to love to work at it and love to work at it and love.
A fantastic write. More women should be so lucky. :-)
To Catch a Thief In Africa (Article) - 7/31/2003 8:30:21 PM
I enjoyed reading this--a very interesting article!
Parable of the Candle (Article) - 12/11/2002 9:56:07 PM
a clear example of small-scale hubris.
Where True Beauty Lies (Article) - 8/27/2002 5:38:04 PM
Very well said. I will keep it in mind for others and for myself - I fried in the Sun in the tropics when I was young and that is finally catching up with me.
Parable of the Candle (Article) - 8/2/2002 5:03:06 AM
Hmmm. I'd like to see this piece develop somehow. Also, reminds me of Icarus. And finally, this makes me wonder about what disappointment the author suffered, which, perhaps added to the metaphor, would make the piece more meaty/intriguing.
Parable of the Candle (Article) - 8/2/2002 1:33:06 AM
Like I said.. I really, really needed to read this tonight/this morning. Thanks.
Parable of the Candle (Article) - 8/1/2002 10:14:05 PM
The candle needs to slow down a bit and look at the world before its passes the candle and leaves it behind...
I Face the Mountain (Article) - 7/20/2002 4:46:07 AM
Climb that mountain one peak at a time. The changes makes it interesting, the familiarity makes it possible.
I Face the Mountain (Article) - 7/18/2002 8:01:02 PM
ROFLOL... Oh dear.. This is all too familiar a scene.. Thanks for the laugh. <smile>
Love and Light
Making Music . . . Pursuing a Dream (Article) - 7/17/2002 10:39:06 AM
You're never too old to pursue a dream. Sometimes they work out sometimes they don't. What is important is that you're not left with 'what if's'.
Matrimonial "State of the Union" (Article) - 7/15/2002 5:06:22 PM
I don't know Fritz...I read this and I almost felt like I wanted to come back to you. Just kidding my friend. Gigi and I feel the same way about your letter and we do not understand how she or anyone can not be moved by the heartfelt sincerity in this. Perhaps she has not acknowledged this as of yet awaiting a good intimate time to respond without interuption. That is our hope and we pray that no matter what the outcome may be...that it will result in true happiness for the both of you.
Amor and Gigi
Matrimonial "State of the Union" (Article) - 7/15/2002 3:25:12 PM
I am still crying...S
she smiles (Poetry) - 11/9/2009 4:25:59 PM
And this is a beautiful poem. Your insights into this lovely woman are endearing, as she is.
I wonder if you are still here; I hope you are still writing.
Mountain Songs (Poetry) - 1/29/2008 4:56:55 PM
Mmm, lovely, a beautiful tribute to the Creator. I especially like the last verse, which brings a smile each time I read it over.
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 1/29/2008 4:52:08 PM
There are candles - and candles. Are you a dollar store candle or a high-quality, long-burning gift store candle?
Generally, it's a bad idea to light one at both ends, but then there are those periods when we can't seem to help it--we are just overwhelmed with obligations, and that's when the flame reveals what we're made of.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 1/19/2008 10:27:36 AM
It is with reluctance that I leave your den now.
This is magnificent! Let he who has ears, hear what the Spirit says.
I don't know how many more of your writings I could handle in one day--my emotions are frazzled, but my spirit is elated with the way God is working in and through you.
God bless you, my friend,
My Son (Poetry) - 1/18/2008 4:28:09 PM
This poem conjures many, many emotions. I see despair, shame, guilt, love, longing and remorse, all honest emotion when faced with having to go it alone. Whether this be fiction or non-fiction, the story that it tells makes me want to take this child into my arms, always trying to give him what his Mother wanted him to have.
God bless you. Kathy
she smiles (Poetry) - 1/18/2008 4:22:01 PM
Amazing how a smile can conjure fantasy, as well as warming ones heart. A smile brightens even the most dreary day. You need to post more poems on the Den.
she smiles (Poetry) - 8/6/2006 5:54:51 AM
Smiles do tell. Very nice.
My Son (Poetry) - 8/6/2006 5:54:06 AM
The cold hard ironic consequence of this cowardly/courageous act will more than likely be that the son will pine away for his birth mother...
Sorry I never noticed your comment on my site about my adopted daughter until now (under Dumped).
It is important to connect with others who are in these kinds of situations to not feel so alone.
Good read. Well done.
she smiles (Poetry) - 7/15/2006 5:00:17 AM
I accidentally stumbled across this and am so glad that I did!
Mountain Songs (Poetry) - 3/28/2006 6:06:46 PM
Great! Love the photo...
she smiles (Poetry) - 3/28/2006 6:06:09 PM
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 3/28/2006 3:35:42 PM
oh, does this capture a complex emotion so, painfully, perfectly.
she smiles (Poetry) - 3/28/2006 3:33:34 PM
The brilliance of a few precious moments, made eternal here. This is lovely!
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 3/25/2006 6:18:18 PM
Nice flow and good images, Fritz.
My Son (Poetry) - 3/25/2006 6:04:13 PM
Whoa. Difficult though it may be to write from another's perspective, you handled this subject quite well. Good work.
she smiles (Poetry) - 3/25/2006 5:56:40 PM
This is so sweet... real, raw, and honest. Nice work, Fritz.
Lost (Poetry) - 3/24/2006 11:54:55 AM
Thanks for the mid-day giggle!;-)
she smiles (Poetry) - 3/24/2006 9:45:49 AM
Such beauty and charm in this romantic write...
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 12/8/2005 7:35:52 PM
Awesome pictures! And, a Superfabulous poem
to go with it as well! Cool!
she smiles (Poetry) - 12/8/2005 7:33:18 PM
I am touched! What a romantic and
beautiful poem, to the lady of
your world! She is the most important
thing, is she not? Go for it!
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 3/13/2005 9:10:11 AM
Short, sweet, but packed with profundity.
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/24/2005 8:59:10 PM
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/23/2005 7:45:13 AM
A gift indeed.....
Very special work....
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/22/2005 2:39:01 PM
I agree with Angela.. I think she knows.. You have a romantic heart.
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/22/2005 8:02:11 AM
Here's the thing about smiles like that; I don't think you have to tell her. I think she knows. Look how many people this poem has reaching! What a gift...
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 2/22/2005 7:56:39 AM
This poem is fantastic. Somehow you've put into words the feeling one gets in that windswept world above treeline.
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/19/2005 1:43:07 PM
The beauty that comes from the "inner smile" only deepens and accentuates with the passing of time, moulding the outer features to accommodate it better... a wonderful tribute and a touching portrayal that is so cleanly and honestly portrayed. There is amazing lightness and gracefulness about this. Well-crafted and "real". Thank you. Kate xx
Stand Tall (Poetry) - 2/19/2005 1:21:50 AM
I like the brevity..excellent..
Not Guilty! (Poetry) - 2/19/2005 1:19:46 AM
I'd retain the repetitive verse..it's excellent conveying the message superbly..
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 2/19/2005 1:17:02 AM
...I hear ya!
Profound piece..saved this one!
My Son (Poetry) - 2/19/2005 1:15:24 AM
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 2/19/2005 1:13:28 AM
And He sees that I am more determined than ever
To be victorious in my struggle...
..well it seems that INTENT in our life is the keystone to success...and the intent can only be made by our heart, mind, soul..YOU are obviously a strong man even though you may see yourself differently..I, for one sense your power of being...please allow yourself to see 'you' as others do..what a magnificent 'persona' you are..YAY!!!
Lost (Poetry) - 2/19/2005 1:08:38 AM
..i reckon this MIND of yours has been found..never to be lost again! Bravo! Superb write..
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/19/2005 1:07:10 AM
Our spirit is perpetual youth and YES it effuses from within and spills over into a mature face..oh how delightful it is to bear witness to the miracle. I wonder... what will you DO about 'this smile' that reaches into your heart hmm?..think about it..
Exquisite piece..I'm impressed.
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/18/2005 8:18:19 PM
Men should learn to let such women know their smiles mean so much.
A delightful poem, Fritz.
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/18/2005 7:22:39 PM
that is beautiful that you noticed and dropping a note to let her would more than likely make her day
enjoyed, sure she will too!!!
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/18/2005 6:59:02 PM
This was really outstanding.
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/18/2005 2:37:03 PM
i'm glad someone appreciates that beauty doesn't die with years, but just changes a bit. this is a wonderful poem
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/18/2005 11:28:51 AM
I know the feeling. Beautifully done, Fritz. Love and peace. Regis
My Son (Poetry) - 2/17/2005 4:53:42 PM
A hauntingly powerful piece of writing...wow!
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/17/2005 4:38:58 PM
Yes, a very delightful piece to read! Thank you. :)
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/16/2005 8:42:45 PM
a delightful write...
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/16/2005 3:32:21 PM
Beautiful! Like a scene out of a play...very charming!
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/16/2005 1:48:24 PM
I love this as well and what a wonderful message this sends.
she smiles (Poetry) - 2/16/2005 1:42:14 PM
Oh this is wonderful!
like a mini movie........
My Son (Poetry) - 2/13/2005 7:19:25 AM
An exceptionally powerful poem, Fritz. I see you do understand what I mean by writing from the perspective of others. This is poem is true, so true, yet you're not the speaker. You empathized with the speaker whom you may or may not have known personally. Great job, wonderful narrative flow.
My Son (Poetry) - 2/9/2005 4:51:48 AM
This is devastation no matter how you read it. A pure message of excruciating pain.
The stark reality is, it happens daily.
This exhausted me each time I read it..
My Son (Poetry) - 2/8/2005 8:15:35 PM
Sadness is sometimes the reality we live in. Poignant write, Fritz. Love and peace. Regis
My Son (Poetry) - 2/8/2005 1:30:07 PM
A lonely, sad write.....written beautifully...
My Son (Poetry) - 6/3/2004 2:16:03 PM
wow. that's a dark one. nice.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 8/27/2003 10:53:02 PM
Such sweet faith.....a beautiful moving poem....
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 8/27/2003 10:51:07 PM
Wonderful, wonderful poetry.....I'm enjoying reading through some of your work...Loved the rhyme scheme....ty, Dani
My Son (Poetry) - 8/27/2003 10:47:47 PM
Oh!!! Loved that last stanza.....though it was all fantastic....I'll be reading some more of your work....ty, Dani :)
Lost (Poetry) - 8/13/2003 7:49:34 PM
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 8/13/2003 7:48:14 PM
You are so right. He never leaves us we just
refuse his help
Imagine how helpless and sad we make him feel for we are his children and he wants to help but he doesn't impose..so as you say.. "Jesus sits
A small distance away...
At the special place
Where I have asked Him to stay."
My Son (Poetry) - 8/13/2003 7:42:49 PM
what a wonderful write and oh so
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 7/27/2003 11:51:46 PM
Wow, Fritz...I just found this poem....where has it been all my life? :)
The last lines do justice to the entire piece, because they are so true.
Bless you for sharing, my brother...
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 7/25/2003 12:01:04 PM
Nicely written piece that makes we wonder, were we meant to live this way? You express here what I think we all feel as we are expected to grow into the "real" world.
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 7/24/2003 7:02:59 AM
Exquisite writing and feeling. You have capture the malady of being human. Keep writing and posting.
My Son (Poetry) - 7/24/2003 6:55:59 AM
A spellbinding piece that bleeds of the inner turmoil of a soul in pain greater than it can bear.
My Son (Poetry) - 7/23/2003 7:12:14 PM
I've read some of your writings. You write about "inner places" few people dare to tread.
Mountain Songs (Poetry) - 1/22/2003 10:26:49 AM
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 1/22/2003 10:25:24 AM
A poetic way of putting it.
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 12/11/2002 9:51:28 PM
i liked this. very simple stlye and very short--this makes it easy to read! :) :) Reminds me of one of those rhyming morals like "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy".
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 10/26/2002 3:52:11 PM
How appropos of all our struggles to reach out to Jesus! He is always waiting, waiting for us to cry out. To lean completely on Him.
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 9/23/2002 6:58:07 AM
Stand Tall (Poetry) - 9/11/2002 7:07:33 AM
Good job, it has a free form quality that drives your words.
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/27/2002 1:00:14 PM
The most powerful truths are the simplest. Nice one!
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/21/2002 10:43:24 PM
...proving once again.. few words can speak volumes! great write. katy.
Lost (Poetry) - 8/21/2002 10:40:55 PM
oh my god.. this is absolutely wonderful! cheeky, too. (giggle).. but methinks you found it cuz this poem is a total delight! (and yes, I also see its "bite").katy.
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/2/2002 10:34:20 AM
Excellent parable brought out by your write here Fritz. Hope the vacation wasn't too hectic for you.
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/2/2002 7:29:39 AM
yea but then you are left with a lump of melted wax
well at least that is what happens to me when i try to burn it at both ends.
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/2/2002 5:01:58 AM
Lot of wisdom in few words!
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/2/2002 3:17:53 AM
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/2/2002 1:31:07 AM
This is so true Fritz... a parable I truly do need to learn....
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/2/2002 12:02:17 AM
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/1/2002 11:04:37 PM
Very true and it does carry a lot of meaning in our lives. Let the candle burn only at one end... ;)
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/1/2002 10:39:49 PM
Short but hss alot of meaning! I love candles.
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 8/1/2002 10:20:08 PM
I love your White Mountain poems!
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 8/1/2002 10:12:41 PM
This is wonderful Fritz! Hope your questions are answered...
First Parable of the Candle (Poetry) - 8/1/2002 10:11:18 PM
Are being so busy you feel like a dog chasing his tale? we've missed you Fritz...Hope you come home soon!
My Son (Poetry) - 7/23/2002 11:22:03 AM
POWERFUL! This one made me weep.
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 7/23/2002 11:20:10 AM
Fritz, try not to think about, find you and let the rest of the world find itself! Only one thing wrong with your portfolio, need a lot more of this outstanding poetry there!
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 7/20/2002 11:12:56 AM
The picture is almost as lovely as the words Fritz. Glad I live in a climate where seasons change, each one is so precious in its own way. You have captured it beautifully.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 7/20/2002 11:10:33 AM
Truly beautiful and so poignant and too often true of life.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 7/20/2002 5:46:55 AM
well done........ ;0)
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 7/20/2002 2:26:43 AM
Fantastic--having read it, I'm deeply affected by this...
Too often I've done the same thing...
Those same Scriptures are among my favorites...
It's getting them from head knowledge to
heart knowledge to life application that's taking so long...
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 7/16/2002 10:26:24 AM
Words and photo are true to your theme. thanks.Donna
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 7/16/2002 10:23:42 AM
Glad I found your work, Fritz, I will look for more. No, it's not many poems, it is all of a piece.
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 7/9/2002 9:26:19 PM
wonderful poem, and the image is beautiful too..
Love and Light
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 7/9/2002 9:24:23 PM
i am so glad I met you in chat tonight... And now to put the poet to the man.. <Smile> what a wonderful discover.. This is beautiful Fritz...
Love and Light
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/24/2002 1:25:44 PM
i got some weight too, and i suck at deligating, so this hit a little too close to home for me. scuse me i got stones caving in.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/24/2002 9:33:03 AM
I love the refrain. It gave me real goosebumps. The only reason I didn't give this a ten was it seemed to me it could have been several poems rather than one.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/24/2002 9:26:50 AM
This is so sad. True of so many people, too, including me.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/24/2002 1:03:44 AM
This is some write... Excellent.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/24/2002 12:48:14 AM
Splendid! Superb! More greese to your elbow as we join to proclaim the love of Jesus!
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/23/2002 9:58:58 PM
Great .. i am proud that u wrote this and its a great thinking .. yes grown man always cry .. mostly bcoz of responsibility in then.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/23/2002 8:01:20 PM
Being grateful for what we do have instead of what we do not have is a powerful drug against the woe ways me syndrome. Some days I have to remind myself to decide to be happy. It is all in my head. Change what you tell yourself, change yourself.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/23/2002 7:43:50 PM
do you think he really cries anymore?
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/23/2002 7:24:36 PM
This is such a splendid revelatory write, I almost don't know what to say. You are faithful to write what the Spirit has inspired and it will minister to many. Thank you
My Son (Poetry) - 6/23/2002 7:19:56 PM
I cried thru this one too! Such powerful emotions...such heartfelt love for her son. You may want to read..I Want To Live...for some reason it reminded me of this poem ..tho they are so different. You are a magnicient writer...will look for your poems from now on.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/23/2002 7:16:27 PM
This was written so exquisitely, and the message loud and clear. thanks.
A Grown Man Cried (Poetry) - 6/23/2002 7:14:44 PM
Oh wow....I cried all the way thro this...seems like I have been doing the same..I loved the stanza's where Jesus has His special place. You are extremely talented...gifted beyond words. God Bless You..May we both get our houses and stones all in place....God I hope so.
My Son (Poetry) - 6/19/2002 1:34:32 PM
I wanted to shout "NO"!! I wanted to stop her. I wanted to... do whatever it is you do in a situation like that. It's never that bad... never! *sigh* Life is what you make of it...and ... and damn! It's only a poem. Problem is, it's life too. *sigh* Thanks once more, for keeping reality real and alive. Hugs, hun. Sorry it's been so long. I've my own reality to deal with at the moment. I'm making the best of it tho, you can be sure! - Hugs and take care, BrytEyz
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 6/7/2002 10:52:57 AM
Exquisite words, and the pic is fantastic
Mountain Songs (Poetry) - 6/7/2002 10:51:04 AM
I am there...and it's such a lovely view. Nicely done Fritz
Stand Tall (Poetry) - 5/8/2002 1:46:39 PM
I like the briefness of the chosen words. I've written similar pieces myself. Not everyone likes them, especially if they are use to reading classical poetry. I think you did well. ~E
Lost (Poetry) - 5/8/2002 1:44:22 PM
Cute one...and well written. Laughed out loud. ~E
My Son (Poetry) - 5/8/2002 1:42:54 PM
Absolutely beautiful the way you have conveyed despair. I don't think I would change much except the line arrangement. I would group the last a bit differently to match what was above. You have a few extraneous words that break the cadance when read out loud. But it is a beautiful work. ~E
Not Guilty! (Poetry) - 5/8/2002 1:39:03 PM
Good religious theme. I would drop the repetive last verse. It isn't needed. Very good work. ~E
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 5/8/2002 1:37:28 PM
Perfect. Perfect form and simplistic. Loved it! ~E
Mountain Songs (Poetry) - 5/8/2002 1:32:51 PM
Needs a little polish, but good verse on the whole. Enjoyed it. ~E
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 5/8/2002 1:30:26 PM
Good poetic prose. Nice sentiments too. ~E
Mountain Songs (Poetry) - 5/6/2002 5:02:42 PM
This is a well-crafted poem. It is not easy to write in the form, but you have tackled it very well.
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 5/6/2002 4:54:02 PM
The passing of Summer has always brought a silent sadness for me, even though I've always loved the Fall.
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 5/6/2002 4:36:50 PM
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 5/3/2002 3:06:54 PM
Delightful read...what's a Texan doing in PA?
Culture shock! ~E
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 5/1/2002 8:11:49 PM
Well, sometimes silence says more than any words could ever say. But I'll give you this... if any words came close to describing what it was like... it's the ones you so artfully strung together. Kudos.
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 4/30/2002 9:27:13 PM
Once upon a ???? something was I. lol ;) This is a good poem, well structured and thought provoking in every sense. The photo is fantabulous.
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 4/30/2002 5:37:24 PM
Mmmmm Great poem!! I was there with you on that hike.... Lovely pic too..
Thanks for your comment on my poem, "From a man's point of view"
My Son (Poetry) - 4/29/2002 10:06:16 AM
Powerful story, and a good reminder for writers and readers alike that the persona is not necessarily the author. Yes, perhaps it could use a few changes and a polish here and there. Is a work of art ever truly finished? Perhaps when it finds completion in another heart and mind...
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 4/27/2002 5:22:43 PM
We all must reach that ridge.
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 4/26/2002 11:35:05 AM
So beautiful and even without the photo I could see it all.
Stand Tall (Poetry) - 4/25/2002 10:15:33 AM
I got goose bumps from this one - I liked the chosen words and placement of them, the simple profoundness, if you will. *grins* -- at first, I felt like I was "in" the battle - then I felt like I was at a memorial day event years later - so that's the only confusing aspect -- but still, I feel like the piece as a whole worked well.
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 4/25/2002 4:43:22 AM
Powerful writing.....all those feelings just tumbling along with your words like dominoes...very good rythym all the way through!
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 4/25/2002 4:41:10 AM
This is a beautiful piece and the photo is stunning....nature is so inspiring!!!! this is excellent and has a wonderful flow. Thanks also for your comment on my poem! :)
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 4/24/2002 4:57:58 PM
This is just beautiful, for lack of a better word. I particularly like the question of who among us would choose the seasons... I'd never thought of it quite that way. You have a gift with words AND a great gift with vision - your pictures are awesome and I'm grateful for the opportunity to see them. Thank you.
once upon a ridge was I (Poetry) - 4/24/2002 4:55:40 PM
The poem is delightful and that photo! Oh, my! That image is just stunning and I clearly see where you'd feel inspired. Good write!
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 10:29:58 PM
enjoyed reading your poem...
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 3:16:57 PM
Dear Fritz; sounds like the wonderful world of business to me! Hanley
Stand Tall (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 3:13:18 PM
Dear Fritz; as a veteran, I enjoyed the sentiment of this. But, I am pretty much a stickler for rhyme and meter. I think this would read well at a live performance. Hanley
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 1:16:33 PM
Lovely and inspiring write...
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 1:11:18 PM
Beautiful thoughts and imagery...very uplifting!!
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 11:19:08 AM
I've had nights like this. This poem gives me the impression of lying in bed, but the bed is on wheels on a gradually increasing incline, and the wheels are rolling faster and faster and there's nothing to do but hold on and ride it out.
Stand Tall (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 10:49:08 AM
This poem lacks a crucial element, structure. For awhile you have it, but then you kind of get away from it and bounce around. The poem had something good to say but gets lost in the simple word usage. Also, you might want to go in here and really edit the piece. Less is more in nearly all poetry. Its a solid effort, but doesn't really hammer it home, in my opinion.
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 10:44:11 AM
This one is pretty good...solid flow, nice wording, and great meaning.
The Passing of Summer (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 10:43:14 AM
Hi Fritz, fantastic writing~
Mountain Songs (Poetry) - 4/23/2002 10:42:22 AM
Fritz, its not bad, but for a rhyming poem there are a lot of speed bumps...ie, words that don't fit into the flow of the poem. Whenever a poem is set to rhyme it's melodic purpose is to flow from start to finish. You might want to consider losing the words with hard or extended sounds.
I also notice that some of the rhymes are a bit contrived...too easy, as a reader I was almost saying them before they even arrived, which makes it too easy to skip through the poem rather than read for meaning.
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 4/22/2002 9:41:25 PM
A common malady I fear...excellent writing
Silently Screaming (Poetry) - 4/22/2002 9:07:12 PM
When I Am Alone I Find My Self!!
Lost (Poetry) - 4/22/2002 8:31:11 PM