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Recent Reviews for John Knudsen
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Moment of Clarity (Short Story) - 9/14/2008 1:09:22 AM
Meth--? a resounding applause to you for being clean and sober, John! You've come back through impossible odds.
As is, this is intensely personal and obviously real, but does not involve my feelings as it should-- nothing's wrong with the writing... I'm just reluctant to involve myself in the misery... (I'm thinking... hold on...)
Okay: here's what I see in the body of the piece-- confusing shifts between past and present in the first paragraph. Of course that might be intentional, to place the reader in a confused state, so they'll better feel your own story, but the problem with that, is that the reader doesn't know you well enough to trust himself in that confusion...
Idea: What if you wrote the story in past tense, third person, and then shifted to present/first near the last of the story? I think that would work very well... Used to reading thus, the reader will trust him/herself to sink into the story's details, involve their empathy, and feel the desparate urgency of the piece. Then once that's all involved, you subtly shift to the now-- the I-- we'll become aware of your problem with you-- come to grips with it, and help shake you into action.
It takes guts and super resolution to have come out of that hell-hole. Kudos to you, in a very big way. :o) --Charlie
Depth (Poetry) - 8/7/2008 8:59:35 AM
This is insightful. I like the use of stereotypes for all the types of organs, and type fonts as well... all sort of types (heh heh). When every thing that we're molded of-- every piece of us, from outside to in that makes us up tells a story that helps us form a more cohesive life-- makes up a story of a cohesive kind-- a story that we write as we live, and keep bettering... then, yes then, we hear all organs play a music that does nothing but enrich and move us. Deeply. --Charlie
Depth (Poetry) - 7/31/2008 2:03:03 PM
All the thoughts and emotions in this piece expressed so well...
Be always safe,
Karen
Depth (Poetry) - 7/31/2008 1:52:38 PM
Oh my,Interesting indeed..stay safe and well..Hugssssss
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