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Jack R Roberts

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Most Embarrassing Moment
By Jack R Roberts
Wednesday, October 23, 2002

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During my years with Mama she has gone through a few name changes. She has never actually changed her name, its just that I have changed the name that I call her. During our dating years she was “Baby doll” I don’t know why I started calling her that, she was just my baby doll is all. After we were married her name changed to “Boober”, the reason being self explanatory. And then after the kids were born I started calling her “Mama” and she has been Mama every since.

The story that I am about to tell is not from my childhood as most of my stories are. It is from my “Boober” years, and Boober was very much involved in this story. Whenever someone asks me what was my most embarrassing moment I don’t even have to stop and think. Its right there in the front of my memory, unchallenged as being the most embarrassing. And it all happened one Sunday afternoon at the bowling alley.

Mama and I had joined a Sunday afternoon bowling league. It was a small league but a fun one, consisting of maybe 12 teams as I recall. Each team had four people on it and ours included Ed, an old friend of ours, my sister, and then Boober and myself. We almost always had a good time, although I never was a good bowler. I could bowl some good games but I was very inconsistent. Boober held her own pretty well, in fact she was the most improved bowler at the end of the year.

But on this particular day for some reason we weren’t having such a good time. On this Sunday afternoon Boober was in a bad mood, and when she was in a bad mood life wasn’t much fun for me either. I can’t even remember why she was mad. I am sure it was probably something that I had done, or maybe didn’t do, but what ever it was I felt bad about it and I wanted to cheer her up. I tried different things, I joked around with her, bought her a Pepsi, which on most days would have snapped her right out of worst mood possible. When the Pepsi failed I figured I must have done something horrible and I was going to have to dig deep into my bag of cheering up tricks.

Boober being in her bad mood that day would not stay down in the pit where I was. When it was her turn she would come to the lane to bowl and then when she was finished she would walk right by me not saying a word and wander off into the bowling alley. I had decided that it was time to go for an all out attempt to cheer her up. I was going to wait until her next turn and then I was going to grab her on her butt as she walked by me. We had been married for awhile, and by this time I knew her pretty well, she liked it when I grabbed her butt and this was going to make everything better.

It was Boober’s turn to bowl and I was anxiously waiting for her to walk by me. I saw her coming behind me from my right and as she entered the pit I grabbed a big handful of her butt. As I looked up to see the expression on her face I knew that my plan had failed because the butt that I was holding in my hand was not that of my wife. Little did I realize that a lady from another team had stepped in front of Boober as she entered the pit, and there I was right in front of the woman I loved with a hand full of another woman’s butt.

The woman jumped like she was shot and turned to look at me with a big smile on her face. I immediately began to apologize and tried to explain to her that I thought she was my wife. She said that it wasn’t a problem and then she just went on about her business. But when I looked up at my wife who had just had to wait at the entrance of the pit and witness this great stunt of mine, I saw a face that I had never seen before and to this day have never seen again. I felt like a total fool, and I was figuring that I would be in divorce court by this time next Sunday. The lady whose butt I held in my hand just moments before came back by and whispered to me not to worry about it because she had just gotten a strike. Some how that didn’t make me feel any better.

I made it through the rest of the game with my face as red as could possibly be, and though I was sure my wife hated me, everyone else seemed to get a big laugh out of what had happened. However when true love is involved things always seem to have a way of working out and this situation was no different. By the end of the day things were back to normal and I was back in the good graces of my darling wife. It has now become a good and fun memory for us to look back on and laugh about. That incident without a doubt was my most embarrassing moment and I hope that it continues to be.

Jack Roberts – August 2002

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Reviewed by Susan Sparks 11/12/2003
Jack: At least you can write about YOUR most embarrassing moment. I can't--it's just too damn embarrassing. I'm turning red just thinking about it. Hey, you write humor too! Great story. I enjoyed this one also.
Reviewed by F. Richardson 1/14/2003
LOL Another delightfully humorous story!
Reviewed by Janet Terry 1/4/2003
Bravo Jack! Mama is a lucky woman to have such a sensitive hubby as you!
Reviewed by Betty Rickard 10/27/2002
I truly, loved this story..It was so well written and funny..That, will teach you! lol lol..I can't begin to tell you how much I truly, loved this write. Whatever, your wife was mad at I bet she had a great laugh over this lol..EXCELLENT write!

God bless,

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