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John W Townsend

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Member Since: May, 2009

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By John W Townsend
Thursday, December 17, 2009

Rated "G" by the Author.

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A sad tale, if it were true ,


Young Georgus Untumpus wanted to be a singer in a rock band, all his life he seemed to have spent his time in front of the hall mirror, attempting to perfect a lip twitch like Elvis and a hair style like Jerry Lee. However, as a youngster his father could not understand his constant attraction with the mirror, while his mother wonderd if there was something wrong with him in certain departments.


Well he survived his youth and hit his twenties with a big break, he became a fitness instructor for the local gym. Not exactly what he had planned, but none the less it caused his parents to sigh with relief.


Well disarster struck one day, he was showing a class a form of meditation he had been working on, and it all went well, until his tummy started to rumble. Everytime he made a move, it rumbled, in fact it caused him much distress as people started to loose interest and wandered away.


In his distress he had locked his arms and legs into a rather tight hold, from which he seemed unable to release himself. Indeed with every move his tummy would respond in anger as it rumbled.


locked in this absurd meditation posture that he had performed incorrectly, he felt embarrassed and declined to ask for help, just giving passers by a cheesy grin as if he was doing fine.


It was in that corner of the gym he was hidden from view when the gym closed at that evening. The manager had no idea Georgus Untumpus was in such a plight.


The following morning at 8 am the gym was opened, the manager heard a loud rumbling coming from the main hall and was shocked to find a compactly knotted Georgus there in a corned rolled up like a ball of wool.


"Please help me." he begged, as various people tried to undo the knot he seemed to have affixed himself into.


In the end he was finally released and sped at great haste with his tummy7 runbling, off into the passages.


I assure this story is as true as pigs with wings.



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