There were times when he just plain...got on her nerves! Wherever she went, seems he'd always show up. Like that time a couple of weeks ago when she and her co-workers decided to get together on a Friday evening after work. Boy, was she having a good time! There was food, groovy music and she had a joint of grass in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. She was just about to do a barefoot solo to one of her favorite songs, when out of the blue...there he was. He was standing there with that...that...look that she resented. It wasn't condescending or judgmental...it was...oh! She didn't know what it was...but it irked her to no end! She eventually stalked out with every one staring at her like she had lost her mind and it had to stop!
She wanted to end the relationship, but for some reason she couldn't. She needed him. Deep down inside she knew she did, yet he completely aggravated her. It was scary. And that wasn't the only thing that was bothering her. Here lately, she was becoming aware of something else; she was 'hurting' him. Yes, that was it! That was the look in his eyes! It was a look of hurt...of disappointment. And though she acted as if she didn't understand why...again, deep down inside, she did. He was hurt because though he had proven himself to her time and time again, she had not changed. Whatever she did, he always forgave...always gave her another chance. He tolerated her spurts of anger and total disrespect. Not because he had to, or was supposed to, but because....he loved her. He really did.
There was no question in her mind of how much he cared. And now, over the past couple of weeks, she was beginning to feel annoyed with herself. She was annoyed because in spite of her admitted confusion at tolerating him when she really didn't want to, something new was occurring that she didn't understand at all...she was, in fact, growing tired. Tired...of taking advantage of him. She was finding it more and more difficult to ignore the fact of how good a friend he continued to be to her in spite of her actions. Daily, she received from him and took whatever she needed. But, she never gave back anything in return except maybe, a bland 'thanks' every now and then.
Then there was this other 'thing' that was also bothering her lately. She was desperately, but futily, trying to stop it but it wouldn't go away. Feelings of 'guilt' were steadily rising up inside of her. She could no longer deny what she knew was true . He didn't deserve the way she treated him. He hadn't done anything to warrant the hurt she inflicted on him. She definitely enjoyed the fruits of his labor and his bountiful provisions, but then she selfishly expected him to take her shallow treatment. She could no longer convince herself that the worldly jests she hurled at him were 'painlessly' swallowed. This was not true . She could see it in his eyes.
So there she was having a heated debate with herself, as to what was right and what was wrong. And finally one day she came to a conclusion. He was a good guy. And, after all, she didn't hate him...just wanted to have a distant, unattached relationship with him. She didn't want him trying to get 'close'. But since it seemed he was not going anywhere, she decided she would 'try' to be more tolerant of him. She would make an sincere effort to treat him at least half as well as she treated her other friends. It was when she made up her mind to do that, she considered the fact that one didn't deliberately hurt a friend...no, one didn't outlandishly use a friend either. Even though one knew they could and would probably get away with it...they didn't, because they 'valued' the friendship.
But how...she wondered? How could she show him that she was willing to be tolerant of his friendship? He had everything ...really. And anyway, it seemed all he cared about, or wanted was her. All he desired from her was that she should make a sincere effort to return his feelings.
She took it slow...one day at a time. Change was not going to come over night. She figured the first step should be to acknowledge that she had treated him wrong. She asked him to forgive her for all the times she hurt him. She promised that she would try to never again 'deliberately' hurt him. She might 'err' being human, but never again would she blatantly and unashamedly stomp on his love for her.
And little by little...as she came to know him better, she became more and more 'accepting' of him. His attention that she once spurned, was now beginning to be sort after. Her feelings for him grew to the point where his constant presence was expected...enjoyed...even relished. As they continued to draw closer and closer, she soon found herself going out of her way to do things that pleased and delighted him.
However, the ultimate thing that happened was too wonderful! And it was something that pleased them both immensely. She didn't know when, or even exactly how it had happened...but one day she found herself telling him that she wanted him to always be in her life and that she was totally in love with him! His name....? Jesus.
Romans 5:8, 2Pet 3:9