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Rosalyn R Smith

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Member Since: Oct, 2002

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Under the Coolabah Tree - Audio Book
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Australian bush poetry - sometime bawdy, but alway fun, written in the traditional lyrical Oz bush verse style...  
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Time Heals
By Rosalyn R Smith
Sunday, March 16, 2003

Rated "G" by the Author.

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Losing a loved one is hard, even harder to see all the love that was left behind and hardest when you won't let the past go to see the future that was left for you to live. Death is a natural thing that is the opposite of life, and when you can only rule one thing out, that must mean you are still alive for time to heal.

People are all alike in the end, a coffin and a grave because death does not discriminate nor lie, telling the truth, assuring you that you will leave this earth one day, the specific day not known and the decision is not yours to determine.

 

Never really having the word death, defined as a kid, growing up was difficult, and we caught on as best as we could. Seeing death through the eyes of a kid was hard.  Feeling as though a dagger had entered, confusing our hearts and all in a kids day, and  all grown up, itís the adult thatís feeling that way too.

Confusing to see grownups crying, we ourselves were in the mirror, and a smaller version of grownups crying.

 

On certain days when our little hearts missed the person that death called and took from us, we could now put it together and understand better this person we would never see again.

 

How I thought this was mean, but I learned later that this must go on until the last man standing is no longer. Hard to believe that we canít leave together and itís still hard as an adult when someone leaves that has been so close to your heart, itís harder to move on.

 

While your still crying that person has moved on to another place and time, leaving you behind and you wish you could start life over with that person in it.

 

It takes time to get over the missing of one, running to tell the good news, the pep talks, that special kind of love between a father and a daughter, and even the crying on the shoulder, telling you that everything will be alright. Itís hard when your not sure how long all of this will last, stumbling all over the place, and people are wondering when youíll be back to your usual self, telling you to snap out of it, and that you are not the first and you won't be the last. Some of the things you use to do like the Friday night hanging out, the mingling with friends, the hanging out with the girls, the family outingís and cooling out and relaxing with that special someone, all of thatís ceased, and your now starting to count the months, and you still havenít gotten to the point where your heart feels safe. Sure, youíve done some things with them, but, your heart and soul werenít there and you were just going through the motions, trying to get it right, trying to feel your way through and damn, it still hurts.The clincher is, no matter how hard you try to go in another direction, the direction avoided you must pass, sooner or later. You look over to your left, you look over to your right, but you have to look in the direction that you last saw that special someone, the coffin and the grave. Youíve passed the cemetery saying goodbye and itís hard looking over there where that person lays, but itís even harder to remember the pain and suffering that one person endured, so you say goodbye once again and you press on, moving a little more of the grief away.And you ask the silly question, what would I do if that person was here, but, really itís not silly because you would still live and exist until a coffin and a grave. 
   

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Reviewed by Creighton Thompson 3/5/2009
Hi Rosalyn,
This may sting a little at first, but, I like many of your thoughts in this story, however, your sentence structure needs to be more focused. That alone will make your thoughts stand out more and add more punch to your passion. Also, I like your personal nature about how you relate a story to your readers and this could be enhanced with less-wordy sentences. Keep in mind I'm nobody special.

Creighton Thompson
Reviewed by Claira Jo 1/5/2008
Reading this puts words to the unspeakable grief I felt when I lost someone a few years back. It seems so simple seeing it written down like this. Well done, you've certainly made me think about a few things. Bravo.

CJ
x
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 5/17/2003
interesting article, do agree
Reviewed by Rodney Bohen 3/19/2003
Karen,
Often I like little! But I liked this a lot!
Keep digging and scratching within, for as in us all, your deepest depth lies and awaits, yes, still undiscovered.
Grand piece, it is just inspiring to find a heart, truly so stripped in honesty.
Rodney Evan Bohen
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 3/17/2003
it took a long time for me to heal over mom's death. i still grieve now 13 years later (she died 13 years ago today), but i am able to go on; but i will never stop remembering her or thinking about her. i was angry for a long time afterward, but i have let to learn to let go and move on, but the pain and ache is still there. thank you for sharing this hopeful write! love, your friend, karen lynn in texas. (((HUGS))) :(

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