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Snippet from my draft version of Breaking of the World
By Claire G Shaw
Saturday, November 02, 2002
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Ban Falt shivered in his leather-sheepskin coat, it offered scant protection against the driving wind, he had been on his solitary look-out for nearly two hours and the snowflakes had frozen into his eyebrows and scraggly beard. He had not been able to bring himself to shave for a week now due to the sudden drop in temperature that caused all the water to freeze. Sighing, he wondered when someone would come to take the next watch. Most probably, all would be drinking ale and warming themselves by the fire without a thought for him all frozen up here in the blizzard, he thought unhappily to himself. He wouldn't even be up here if it wasn't for the fact that Marianne had ordered him to, with her nose stuck in the air like some god-forsaken queen. Not that there was even a remote possibility of there being a queen in this god-forsaken place. Somewhere in his head he felt the beginnings of hysterical laughter. He sighed again, he had been up here too long. Trying to take his mind off his numb toes and the way the makeshift watch tower creaked every time the wind hit it, he scanned the horizon for any sign of..........anything. As his eyes flicked over the pass he thought he caught a horse and rider silhouetted by a soft glow but when he tried looking again a flurry of snowflakes obscured his view. Desperately peering through the snowflakes, another gust of wind cleared his view again. There was no glow of light but he thought he could just make out a horse, rider and what seemed like a large dog, struggling to gallop their way to the village, all leaning heavily into the wind. Ban blinked, they were still there. He didn't know whether he had imagined the light or not but he knew what he now saw was at least real. Getting up, he left his post to greet the rider and felt a guilty twinge at leaving his post unmanned. He shrugged, well it was high time he was replaced anyway and he doubted he would see anyone else again for a long time. Unfolding his crossed legs, he stood stretching, acutely aware of the tower swaying under his feet. Staggering down the spiralling stairs he was met with a gust of wind that nearly knocked him off his feet as he flung open the door and stepped outside.
The horse, rider and dog were still a minute or two away from him so he took his time to study what he saw, though the visibility was poor. The rider it seemed was a girl of at least nineteen years from his assumption and she was not riding any longer but instead was walking with her hand clutching the mare's mane and her cheek pressed against the mare's shoulder as if for support.
Ban was an experienced horseman and he knew a good horse when he saw one but this mare excelled some of the best stock he had seen, she gave the appearance of great strength and vitality even in that blizzard, rich brown all over except for a small white star on her forehead, she was cleanlimbed and deep chested. The dog he saw at closer range was almost the size of a small pony with grey shaggy hair coated in frost and long legs built for speed and power. He looked similar to the wolfhounds in his native homeland but there was something acutely different (apart from his size). They were nearly upon him now and the girl, mare and dog stopped and regarded him warily, he opened his hand to his sides in a pacifying gesture showing that he had no weapons and called out 'I mean you no harm, if you seek the Yawa Edih then I will guide you there, I am the look-out'. She regarded him from slitted eyes but whether that was from the wind or from suspicion, he couldn't tell as he watched her. After a moment she flashed him a quick smile and nodded her head, 'Lead on soldier'. He frowned, had he detected a mocking tone? That thought was pushed out of his head when he noticed the stormcloud overhead. The girl had caught up with him, she followed his eyes to the stormcloud and bit her lip. It looks like there will be lightning, he scowled, and lots of it too. The girl spoke up suddenly 'Yes, much lightning, wind and snow.' He turned and blinked at her, he had not realised that he had spoken aloud; seeking to reassure her, he said in a comforting tone 'It won't worry us though, not once we're in shelter,' pausing he tried to convince himself, 'we'll be fine'. Ban turned to look into her face searching for worry or fear but he found nothing except that she seemed deep in thought, he wished he knew what she was thinking.
Rielle regarded the man next to her, he seemed ok, he was very likely telling the truth but you couldn't be too careful these days, but she trusted him, he reminded her of her brother Ionraic, not in looks but in manner. She did not yet know his name and he looked to be the same age as her but the worry lines etched into his forehead made her think of maturity rather than youth. Under all the ice and snowflakes she could make out light brown hair and hazel-grey flecked eyes. Now and then he would turn to peer into her face, she wondered what he was thinking of.
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| Reviewed by me |
4/17/2003 |
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| I'd like to read a bit more of your story before judging |
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| Reviewed by dave |
3/2/2003 |
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| tis good tis good i like the names |
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| Reviewed by cat |
11/9/2002 |
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| This is soo good Claire, write more so I can read on.... |
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| Reviewed by Will |
11/5/2002 |
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| One Word:WOW This is really good! |
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| Reviewed by Bourge |
11/2/2002 |
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Wicked Shaire Claw! hehe, I never knew you were such a wicked author! When you get your book published, I'll buy it!
*x-charley-x* |
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