Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  andrea coltman, iGisele Vincent-Page, iP Lewis, iIolanthe Woulff, iDavid Litwack, iDebby & Gordon Rosenberg, iShoma Mittra, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ben Kennedy

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Stories
· 1 Titles
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Sep, 2009

Ben Kennedy, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
Beyond Mercy ( KIndle Edition)ebook
by Audrey Coatesworth

Beyond Mercy is now available as an ebook - for Kindle, PC, ipad This story is a past life story - and tells of a family in 1497, and of lives destroyed. The search ..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

It's Gonna Be a Good Day, Boys!
By Ben Kennedy
Sunday, September 27, 2009

Rated "PG" by the Author.

Share    Print  Save   Follow

A short tale about the joys and woes of carb watching and fatherhood.

My son Benjamin likes to eat Pop-Tarts in the morning. While I’m sure he likes them for the sugar, I like them because they’re quick, easy, and when we are running late most mornings, they travel well. Sadly, there are some mornings when he doesn’t get to finish his Pop-Tart before we make it to preschool, and I have to take it from him.

“Why not let him take it in” you ask? Because if the other little ones in that kiddie penitentiary catch my son with the good stuff, he’s liable to get shanked with a floor-sharpened Crayola, that’s why.

Yes, daycares and preschools are rough places now, just ask someone on the inside.

After I drop Benjamin off and tell him, “No tattoos.” I drive to work with anywhere from a half eaten to three quarters eaten Pop-Tart in my passengers seat.

I used to just eat it, but lately I’ve been trying to cut carbs, so I can no longer enjoy the Brown Sugar and Toddler Spit goodness anymore. But not to be wasteful, I instead break it up into small pieces and throw it on the ground during my walk from the car to the front door of my work.

It’s a great way to start your day, pretending to be Hansel. Oh that lucky, lucky Hansel! He got put into a giant cage, and ordered to eat cake and candy and cookies twelve times a day.

Can you tell I miss my carbs?

So while I’m at work, lifting refrigerators, ranges, washers, dryers and big screen TV’s, to 3rd floor apartment buildings all day, I imagine the birds are swooping down and eating the pieces of Pop-Tarts, much like the old children’s story. Only when they swoop down to grab what they think is just another piece of bread, or some stale biscuit or hamburger bun, they get a fruit filled or sugary surprise.

“Holy shit, this cracker’s got strawberry in it! It’s gonna be a good day, boys!”

And the thought of that makes me smile. And it makes me a bit jealous that they get to eat carbs. And a little less mad when I can’t find my way back to the car at the end of the day.

       Web Site: Official Home of Ben Kennedy

Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. Top 10 Things to Avoid Doing…Now and Forev
3. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
4. She Told Me To Do It
5. A Man and His Dog
6. Ireland: It's a wee bit of Heaven, and th
7. A Reluctant Father Christmas
8. Celestine, the cat who helped Galileo...
9. Shoes
10. The Elephant

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV is adult literature featuring adult content and language that satirizes thirteen famous short fiction works...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces by Jay Dubya

Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces is adult literature that satirizes famous children's stories, fables and fairy tales. The work is Jay Dubya's twenty-first e-book av..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.