Abandoned Life ~ Autobiography: Part Eight:
First holiday with the kids:
Wild game watching is so much fun; Bundu–Bashing even better. One of the funniest and greatest things is to be on the road and be blocked by an elephant; oh boy!! Yes this really happened to Tinka and her family. They were held “captive” by a bull-elephant for an hour and a half after which he gave up and allowed his cow to cross the road. By that time everybody was stressed out. Tinka’s parents and brother on the other side had to wait for them watching the drama unfold; very dangerous and yet funny. As soon as the car was in first gear (to side-step mister “Bigfoot”) you have to change gear quickly to reverse so as to go little further backwards. Get too close and that would be the end of you; you and your precious car. But eventually they managed to get past the old sour puss and his protective attitude. Tinka knew her husband had no idea this could happen. But for her growing up between wild animals, well she was well aware of the situation. Her husband quite a wreck after been held captive by Old Bigfoot was not in a very good mood anymore. They did there next stop to watch the animals…and had fun with some silly baboons; feeding them “Mint Sweets” catching their fingers in the car window; not to hurt them but to tease them gave everyone such a scream. It was so funny as the baboons almost broke gave everyone such a scream. It was so funny as the baboons almost broke the car window and door they got so mad at these humans, but soon gave up and left. Every ones focus soon went somewhere else; there were hippo’s in a river, right in front of the car about 500 yards away! Water buffalo were on the other side of the riverbank. Tinka, wanting to have some fun, told her husband that that was so dangerous because buffalo were even more aggressive than elephants when you separate the group. But it seems he did not pay much attention to her warning, as he watched the hippo and buffalo through the binoculars. He was deep in thought when the little devil took over Tinka’s thoughts as she contemplated the river full of water between them and the animals. How in the name of humor could there be any danger at all huh? With his focus on the hippo’s binoculars zoomed in. Tinka told him once again never to cut in between a buffalo cow and her horny bull, or even try to move between a herd of buffalo on the move but to wait at a safe distance. But just another “Gmpf” came from his side. That is when devil within Tinka took over… and she thought to her self “Sour puss this is the day Tinka will get you back for ignoring her warnings”. She slapped him on his leg with her hand so hard and yelled… “OH God help they are upon us!!!” Tinka laughed out loud, never in her life had she seen a person turn so white and with so much fear on his face, start a car so quick and pull off. It happened so fast that they almost landed in the river between the F’ing hippos. At that point Tinka just flipped out from laughter. Oh goodness husband almost kill her, but the best of all was her brother who was right behind them following their lead. Knowing it meant danger for anyone joining in on the next Bundu bashing trip.
Three years later she fell pregnant again, this time she truly had a hard time having three young kids to look after, and a husband that had to work very long hours and always away from home as he left her and the kids and moved back into the caravan and relief staff job.
The position meant that he had to take over for weeks while other workers went on vocation; just like when they first got married. Tinka saw it as a way to get away from his family; that he did not really care enough about them help with their up bringing. Tinka took that on herself, her way of proving to the world that she was not failure as a mother.
She was standing alone yet again, pregnant and three children in a strange new place with no friends. She only had her sister and she could not trust, her at all having already taken Michael into her bed; which got around town fast enough. Tinka just wanted hide her face and never let her feelings show but soon everybody knew and she became the gossip of the town.
Soon after that on March 27, 1982 her fourth child Brian was born, Tinka went back to work. She started her own business as hairdresser again!!
Chapter Five: The Big Shock. Tinka now became very busy running her own business building a nice number of clients for her self. Even made a name for herself in a good way and the people did not look at her the same way they did her sister. She even started to give bible classes at her children’s school.
But deep inside she was a very unhappy woman in an unhappy marriage. Her pride made her hide what she really felt…and showed a brave face to the world.
February 27, 1985 her husband was busy doing some welding, making a portable BBQ stand for dear sister and her husband before leaving town. They moved away to get her out of trouble and trying to save their own failing relationship.
Michêle was playing around with water not realizing what evil that was waiting to happen. Her farther Michael wanted to move the BBQ closer to the welder but decided it would be better moving the welder, because the BBQ stand was in place. He reached out with both hand to pick it up, and at the same time stepped into a pool of water next to it. Next the power of the electricity that was still on the welder pulled him in and got shocked. The intensity of the volts was very high and he could not scream for help but just made a horrible roaring sound like a lion in pain. Their housemaid saw it happen and called Tinka, she was so frightened she wetted herself right there. Tinka tried to switch the main power to the house off but her husband had “hotwired” it to be able to use the welder on low currency, and it was not possible to shut it down from the main switchboard. Commotion broke loose, everyone scattered around. Phillip tried to free him but got kicked away by the power. And all Tinka could do was cutting the wires but did not have the strength to do so. Finally, with the help of Julia the housemaid they managed to break the flow by pulling it from the wall behind the stove where it was connected.
By that time that felt like hours; Michael’s face and neck doubled in size from the pressure and intense power of the shock and the weight of the welder that had lifted it up to about shoulder height without even knowing it. The welder slipped out of his hands and fell next to his face as both of them collided with the ground the moment the power was cut. Michael just gave one snort and collapsed. Tinka and everyone watching this whole fiasco thought he was dead. But instinct took over and she started CPR on her husband. She managed to save his life that day by quick thinking. Her kiss of life saved him as he started to breathe again. By that time the police came to her rescue and took him to hospital; Michael still not totally “with” them but breathing. After several tests and a few hours of rest they walked home.
They had no car with them, as Tinka was the one who was holding his head on her lap as they rode in the back of the police van on the way to hospital.
This was and still remained a nightmare for Tinka for many years to come. Doing everything she could to make life easier for everyone including working very long hours. Without realizing what was going on life did go on but evil was to enter their home once again. Michael started to drink more and more and started to flirt around with others. At first Tinka did not care because being use to his forward, flirting nature. But one day she had to watch as he tried to have sex with her sister. And when she reacted to that he said he was just joking and wanted to see how far he could take it before she rejected him. But she was the willing bitch that would’ve done it if Tinka were not there to watch. So in anger he turned his attentions toward Tinka raping her in front of her sister.
Tinka lost her respect for everyone that day; herself, her sister and the man she had reluctantly married.
Divorce soul from this body
Learn the hateful art to forget
All night I hold your hand
Oh! Load of stress and bother
Within your shadow I am bound
Empty of sleep… empty of heart
I stumble out
Into a unfamiliar part of life
Make one mistake
Like the one I made
There will be no return back to a “Promised Land”
Lie still breaking heart
You have no right to decide
What’s allowed deep within
Divorced soul from this body
Learn the hateful art to forget
Seek no further…
I saw the bitterness
As I stumbled out
Into a dark unfamiliar side of you
Now sorrow chokes behind this smiling face
As bitterness blast the mind
Murdering thoughts so kind
Dark thoughts are born
To fill this aching heart
Tinka lost her will to fight back and just lived from day to day without complaining to anyone.
Then on that horrible day on March 8, 1985 something happened again. Michael ploughed the yard of the new house to plant a lawn with Michael junior and Michêle was with him on the tractor. That was not something new to them to be with their dad, but that day something went wrong. As Michael let the plough down for it to enter the ground he felt this tap on his shoulder, at first he did not pay attention, thinking one of the kids wanted to say something. But the next move he looked back and saw what happened. Before he knew it Michêle had jumped off the tractor and almost landed in front of the back wheel. But that was not the problem; the hydro arm that lowered the plough had ripped away Michael junior’s flesh from the back of his leg and pushed it right down to his foot. The tap on his fathers shoulder was to tell him he was in trouble. Tinka picked her son up and ran to the hospital that was across the road from their new home they were building. Hours later the doctors were still trying to save his leg. Here at the tender age of only eight, little asthma burdened Michael junior lays in hospital. A few days after the accident, the shock of the injury not even out of Tinka’s mind, Michael Junior was back in hospital. He had become very sick and his heart failed him three times that night of March 14, 1985 as he was mind, Michael Junior was back in hospital. He had become very sick and his heart failed him three times that night of March 14, 1985 as he was transferred to a city hospital may kilometers from home. He was put in ICU and could not breathe on his own. For fourteen days it was touch and go for Michael junior, but he made it through.
For the next few months the family had no peace, everything seemed to go wrong yet Tinka managed to keep the wheel rolling.
Then disaster stepped right back in…and this time Tinka’s life changed forever. It was May 21, 1985, Michael junior’s birthday. Once again he was very sick. Tinka phoned her husband to come home expecting the worse. There was no time to get back to the city hospital. Tinka phoned Dr, Jannie du Plessis, a pediatrician who saved Michael’s life the first time. While on the phone he gave her instructions how to cope with the situation till her house doctor came to take over. By the time Michael senior came home everything was under control, but still critical. He did not return to work, as it was necessary for him to assist Tinka in the task to regain her strength to work days and be a Florence Nightingale by night.