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Tinka Boukes

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Abandoned Life Autobiography: Part Thirteen:
By Tinka Boukes
Thursday, November 08, 2007

Rated "G" by the Author.

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A Prayer

Dear Lord give us the strenght to hold on and to be free in our love...to never doubt the love that we feel...

to carry us throught these hard times and to be strong each day...only your love can make us go on...

without you Lord we will be lost forever...amen

 

Abandoned Life ~ Autobiography: Part Thirteen:

Broken Ribs Ė Broken Heart

 

Mistrusting her partner and his devious attacks made exercise a little hard for her. Walking around with broken ribs and a half broken-damaged wrist didnít make it any easier. She broke her ribs one day just after she had her last child. As usual she had to do most of the work herself in and around the house. And this day she had to scrub down the tiles in the bathroom that were getting moldy. She did not feel good after a hard day but did not want more confrontation so she did what she had to do. She literally had to splash the walls down with buckets of water to wash down the soapy lather left after scrubbing the dirt down, eventually the floor became slippery and the next thing Tinka knew her feet slipped out under her, bucket in hand fell on the side of the bathtub, bucket burst open and Tinka broke her ribs. She could not breathe, there was no one there to help her and she had a small baby at hand. After a while she managed to get up and attended to her crying child while hardly being able to breathe. By the time her husband came home, from where ever he wandered off to, she was laying on her bed color drained from her face, deep in pain. She tried to explain what had happened, but only got a snarl back in her face for being stupid and too damn lazy to do anything well. She had no power to fight back. She just went on not complaining about her pain for weeks.

She was just starting to feel better when he was out of it again with seven boxes of wine that were meant for some promotion, that never took place, still in the house. Tinka was standing at her dresser trying to make up her mind, whether to shoot herself or just let him do the job with his fist. He saw what she wanted to and jumped on top of her, turning her arm back and pushing it up her back, the arm on the broken rib side. He pushed her up against the wall and let her fall to the ground. Her child was sitting on the bed watching and yelled out to leave his mother alone. He turned around to look at the child when Tinka got up and was back on her feet. Not saying a word she took the seven boxes of wine and dumped it out through the back door, not one bit worried what he was going to do to her, blind from anger. She then used the very same boxes to pack her stuff. He was on the bed laughing in her face. She packed everything neatly into the boxes stacking them in the corner of the room ready to go. She waited for him to fall asleep but every time she wanted to move he grabbed her again. He didnít plead for her not to go or say he was sorry for what he did but instead for wanting to commit suicide telling her to wait at least until he was not around. After all he didnít want the police lock him up for murder, because it might look like it was him who killed her. Tinka said nothing, just started to cry. He then forced himself on her, his way of showing his so called undying love for her, thinking it would make the hurt go away. Her ribs hurt and her shoulder felt like it was cracked as he violated her while pushing her arm back and wringing at the same time.

The next day he did not let her out of his sight. Tinka knew she had to wait until it was safe to phone her father. He said she could move back home with her child if she wanted. She told her father everything but fate did not allow her to move. Her car was in bad shape, needed new tires and it took another six months before she was ready to move. Then disaster struck once again, she received a phone call from her stepmother to say her dad was very sick and in hospital and if possible she must come immediately. Tinka had no money to travel both ways, but made a plan by borrowing money from her bank knowing there would be money to repay it within two days. Her bank manager was willing to help knowing two days could make the difference between life and death. She packed her bags and those of her two youngest kids, got into the car and drove 1,750 kilometers through the night to be with her father. She did not sleep for two days tired as hell but would not leave his bedside; feeling guilty that her situation could be the cause of his illness. He could not handle the fact that the son in law he worshiped became this evil man hurting his girl. Okay they had their bad times too but she loved her father deeply and he her. Knowing she would not see her father again once she left to go back home Tinka decided to stay till the end.

Back home the phone service was cut due to being two months in arrears and there was no mercy to be found in telling them about her situation. Thatís how it came that Tinka had to say goodbye a week after she first set foot by her fatherís bedside. With little sleep and hardly enough money to go back she went to say goodbye. The moment she walked in she knew this is it; his eyes had discolored and the white of his eyes looked like scrambles yellowish jelly. He begged her in a very weak voice not to leave him. Tinka had no choice she pushed her head into his neck kissing him on his cheek telling him how much she loved him. Then for the first time in her life she prayed out loud. She asked the Lord to take her father home and to release him from this pain. Her tears wet his pajamas, and as she looked up and in his eyes as he smiled, closed his eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep or something deeper. But she knew he was calm, she turned around and walked away, got into her car and drove off back home, back into her miserable life, knowing this was it, that she will never touch her father again.

Tinka drove all day again and got home in the early hours of the morning. No one waiting at her door, husband passed out on the bed she picked her sleeping children up and put them to bed. Then took a shower and made herself some coffee; waiting to feel sleepy but could not sleep, expecting a call from her stepmother to tell her he is gone. The next morning she was ready to go to town to fix the landline telephone problem when her cell phone rang. It was her stepmother on the other side telling her it was over. He did not wake after she had left, just quietly passed away ten hours after she had left his bedside. Tinka was mad and asked her why she did not phone earlier. She just replied "whatís the use he was gone and you were probably still on your way home and I wanted to let you sleep a little before waking you knowing how tired you were". Tinka burst out in tears telling every one she knew she had to stay one more day, now she needed to go all the way back for the funeral. Her husband said there was no chance in hell that she is going back. His reasoning being that it would not bring him back. But Tinka had other values when it came to that. She wanted to show her last respects and wanted to be there come-what-may. But she knew there was no money to go back. She had no one to turn to for help. Eventually her brotherís sister in laws husband offered her money to get back in her car and attend the funeral.

The next morning Tinka was back in her car with the two kids driving like a maniac to get there in time. She arrived two hours before the funeral took place looking like a ghost. She almost fell asleep closing her eyes in prayer. After the funeral she wanted to get back in the car, but her brother took the keys and stopped her. He said his son could take her car back to Pretoria and she could go with him and sleep over at their place that night. He would not allow her to drive in the state of mind and tiredness she was in. She did not refuse the offer, but if it had not come she wouldíve traveled back that same day. Thatís how it came she traveled over 7,000 kilometers in four days.

To continue >>>>>>>>>
 
 


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Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot 1/3/2009
Two Words Tinka......

SCUM BAG!
They should all be locked away.
Love yah
Ch'erie
Reviewed by Rosemarie Skaine 9/13/2008
Having lost a father, I paused when I read that you left knowing "that she will nver touch her father again." The good and the bad of family meet in this section. R
Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore 7/13/2008
Love makes us do anything. You live a life of love.
Reviewed by Felix Perry 11/9/2007
Another riveting chapter Tink that brings your life into reality and scares my soul as I think of what you endured.
hugs
Fee
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 11/9/2007
I will take my bad years and tie them to yours and then we can throw the bunch down a bottomless abyss.
Coreageously wrote.
Georg
Reviewed by Susan de Vegter 11/8/2007
You have love and dedicated family here. I am so very sorry there is no magic to make the painful years disappear. We all are in the great plan so everytime you feel old scars...look at who you are and what you are to so many people who love you.
Susan
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 11/8/2007
(((((((HUGS)))))))))))




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