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Erika Jackson

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Member Since: Dec, 2009

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Holy of Holies
By Erika Jackson
Sunday, December 27, 2009

Rated "G" by the Author.

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This is a piece I wrote based on a vision I had during a church service.

I can see myself laying aside the cares and the weights outside the tabernacle doors. I wait expectantly to enter into your presence. I feel excitement welling up on the inside. I shake my hands in anticipation. My feet are moving from side to side as I sway to a rhythm only I can hear.

The doors open and I’m allowed to come into the inner courts. I see other people milling about, talking to each other about you, the excitement almost tangible. I step over to a corner, alone, to further prepare for what I will experience. A little awed by the prospect of actually seeing you, I take a deep breath to steady myself. I begin to think about some of the things you have done for me, and I smile.
Not far from me, a door opens and someone walks out. From my place in the corner I watch as he approaches a dais. There’s a microphone on a lectern. Speaking quietly into the instrument, he announces that the doors to the Holy Place will open shortly. If we had anything in our possession that could be considered negative, we should leave it here. I examined myself and found unforgiveness and offense, and realized that I wasn’t ready to enter. Quickly I discarded that weighty baggage and prepared to enter.
I moved closer to the door where that man had exited. From the corner of my eye I noticed that he was returning, so I stepped aside and let him pass. As he reached for the door, a sudden hush fell across the room. He pushed and the door gave way to two very large steel doors that opened very slowly. He stepped through and motioned for us to follow.
The throng moved as a single, floating mass toward the doors. One by one the people peeled off as we crossed the threshold into the Holy Place. I could feel your presence emanating from somewhere inside. I began to sing. One praise song after another poured from my lips as I was thrust from the crowd into the Holy Place.
I began to dance as memories of your goodness flooded my consciousness. Closer and closer I drew to the source of your glory. I could feel you. I needed to be in your presence. Others were also singing and dancing. We were all moving in the same direction. I couldn’t even count how many people were there, there were so many.
Off in the distance I could see what appeared to be light coming from under, around, and between two grand doors. Incredibly, as I drew closer, I discovered the doors were made of pure gold. The crowd gathered around the two huge gold doors and waited with bated breath. A chill crept up my spine as I peered anxiously at those doors.
Crack!! I heard a loud sound like a door makes when it is opened for the first time in a long time. I steeled myself for what was to be an awesome experience. My excitement rose along with my expectation. I stared as the doors swung open eerily slowly. The bright light burst from the other side. I moved closer along with the crowd.
Stepping up onto the first step, I began to shake with such eager anticipation, I had to take deep breaths to slow my racing heartbeat. My eyes never left the light as I moved up one step and then another until I was right at the entrance. Holding my breath, I stepped through and was consumed by light and warmth. I could feel you all around me. No one else existed. It seemed like it was just you and me.
Tears welled up in my eyes as thoughts of past hurts and pains rushed into my mind. I just wanted to tell you all about them so I could be healed. I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out were words of adoration. I had to tell you everything you are to me. I felt like such a small nothing compared to your greatness. I told you I was not worthy of you. You told me I was because you said so.
I smiled as tears of joy streamed down my cheeks. I closed my eyes and held out my arms. I felt your love encompass me like a warm embrace. As I hugged myself and opened my eyes, I found myself standing at my seat in church, right where I began this adventure into the Holy of Holies, where you sit, waiting for me to return.

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