What would Jesus say if He was walking the earth today. This mythical interview answers that question.
INTERVIEW WITH JESUS THE CHRIST
©2009 Daniel A. Brown
(Recorded January, 24, 2009 by Molly Mungbean of the “Aquarian Tabloid” newspaper at Haymarket’s Café in Northampton, Mass.)
MOLLY: I must say, you look mighty sharp, like you just walked off the cover of “GQ” Not what I expected.
JESUS: (laughing) What did you think I’d be dressed in? Robe and sandals!? I only looked like that because that’s how everyone dressed back then in Judea and I needed to fit in. Now, I’m in the America of 2009. Besides, who says an ascended spiritual master can’t look good? Always wanted a leather jacket.
MOLLY: Well, let’s get right to it. Why are you back and what do you hope to accomplish?
JESUS: In ten minutes, eh? Well, I’ll give you the short version. Me and Gautama (Buddha) were hanging out on the Seventh Ring of Cosmic Infinitude recently and we observed that the human race still hasn’t been able to figure out spiritual evolution for themselves. So, we decided to come back down and help nudgie people along. I got the West and he got the East, just like before.
JESUS: Yeah, nudgie....(fake Italian accent) whatsa matta, doncha speaka da Yiddish? I used to be Jewish, remember?
MOLLY: Well, moving right along, a lot has happened during the past 2000 years and I was curious how you would sum up your previous ministry here. Overall, do you think you were successful?
JESUS: Yes and no. Humans have a funny habit of worshipping the messenger and ignoring the message. The so-called “Christians” of the early Church got most of it wrong from the start but I had anticipated that happening. Human nature is strong.
MOLLY: Could you give an example?
JESUS: Well, for starters, my most devout disciples were really the women, the Marys and Martha. The men, the supposed “Saints” were mostly a bunch of self-serving duds. As Alan Watts noted, they got an “A” in the course but missed the point of the whole thing. The women carried the spiritual purity of Christ Consciousness in their hearts while the men were writing up their press releases. You know, I really handed the Church over to Mary Magdalene, not Peter who had, after all, denied me three times. I was hoping against hope that Mary’s purity could overcome the patriarchy of the times, especially the influence of that confused misogynist, Paul. Unfortunately, I was wrong. It all went downhill from there.
MOLLY: How exactly would you define “Christ Consciousness”?
JESUS: Christ Consciousness is the finest harmony of uncompromising love and undiluted truth. It is not a physical emotion but one emanating from the heart and spirit. And it has nothing to do with me or worshipping me. Anyone can live it. You don’t need churches, priests, or ministers. For that matter, you don’t need medicine men, gurus, or any kind of physical ritual. All of us have a direct connection with the God-Force whenever we care to access it. The Universe is actually a truly loving and forgiving force, whatever one cares to call it. As funny as it seems, religion can get in the way of true belief. You don’t need one in order to be one with the Divine.
MOLLY: What do you think of the current New Age movement of spirituality. Do you think they are on the right track?
JESUS: It reminds me of the early Christian Church; hope and belief mixed with greed and silliness. The sacred and the cynical. I’ll tell you something...the REAL spiritual teachers on this planet are the ones no one ever hears about. They do their work quietly without publicity or fanfare, spreading light and love quietly but from the purest of hearts. Once you start charging megabucks for spiritual enlightenment, forget it.
MOLLY: I’ve always been curious about the so-called “lost years” between your teaching in the Temple as a kid and the formal start of your ministry. Where were you and what were you doing?
JESUS: (laughing) Oh, hanging out at the Mall...helping Pop build condos in East Nazareth, that kind of stuff. No really, when I was fourteen, I traveled to India and from there spent the next 17 years or so in the East. I spent time in Tibet, Nepal, Persia, Babylonia, and finished up at a spirit mystery school in Egypt perfecting myself.
MOLLY: What was it like for you in India?
JESUS: The same as later in Judea. I challenged the corruption of the Brahmic priesthood and the racist and unjust caste system. Very vocally too, I might add. The priests tried to kill me, the common people stood in my defense and the secular rulers suggested I mosey on elsewhere. Sound familiar? (laughs)
MOLLY: Another question. Did you really wrestle with Satan in the desert for 40 days?
JESUS: There is, in reality, no entity called Satan, other than the devil of our lower selves. Those 40 days of “wrestling” was really with myself, choosing which path I would take during my time in the body. The choice was simple. Option One was to use my abilities and charisma to gain power, riches, women and political influence for myself to enjoy. Option Two was to spend three years in relative obscurity preaching the word of God and then suffer the most excruciating death ever devised by Man.
MOLLY: And you chose Option Two?????
JESUS: Apparently, I did.
MOLLY: Most people would have chosen Option One.
JESUS: Which explains why I’m a spiritual master and they aren’t.
MOLLY: I’m a bit nervous asking you this question but would you consider Christianity to have been a failure, taking into consideration its long and bloody history.
JESUS: You have to separate Christianity as spiritual consciousness from Christianity, the elitist power structure. There are many pure souls who use their Christian belief to the highest good and gain a great deal of inner peace from it. On the other hand, you have the Pat Robertsons and the Vatican hierarchy who abuse the name of the Christ-Force for their own selfish purposes. In truth, anyone who preaches hatred, deceit, separation and intolerance, “denies” me.
MOLLY: So, in a nutshell, what was the core of your teaching when you were first here.
JESUS: I came to earth to be an example of what a perfected being could be like. And I made it clear umpteen times that what I was, anyone could be, if they made a commitment to the Spirit. I “resurrected” merely to demonstrate the illusion of death, that we all have souls that are immortal. The truths of karmic law and reincarnation were major parts of my ministry but the early Church leaders deleted them because they knew it would lessen their power and influence.
MOLLY: Did you come back to save the world?
JESUS: No, everyone has to do that themselves and there’s no free ride involved. It all must be earned. And if you really need a savior, look in the mirror.
MOLLY: One last question and I do thank you for your time. By the way, I got the tab for the cappuccinos. Where do you go from here? To teach the Multitudes?
JESUS: I’m keeping a low profile. Think about Martin Luther King, Joan of Arc and Gandhi, among too many other men and women, and then ask yourself; what happens to people when they speak the truth in your world? Worse, what happens to them when they challenge the falsehoods and lies? I intend to work behind the scenes, giving love and hope to the outcasts of your society. So you won’t see me on “Oprah” or at the $1000 a plate political fund-raisers.
Approach everyone you meet, even people you can’t stand, as though you were meeting me and you’ll do OK.
MOLLY: That’s really hard.
JESUS: Hard? If you want “hard”, try being crucified!