And then he moved away after having given her a backward glance- his eyes having in them a look that was at once bewildered, sad, and also filled with an expression of longing that mirrored her own, that told her he was indeed feeling the same as she.
Just as he was dangerous for her, she too, it seemed, was dangerous for him; she had seen it in his face, in his hesitant walk away, a walking away that part of his body did not seem to want to do.
He settled into a small meet-and-greet group and she could see him talking, but unable to resist giving her glances which had a wondering aspect, as if to wonder if that electricity between them had really happened; and she was sure that he saw in her face confirmation that it had really happened and neither knew at that point what to do, if anything about it.
But there was in her as well, a swelling sense of happiness because, despite her not wanting to reveal her feelings, it was exhilarating to know that he seemed to feel the same way as well.
Who does not want to know that the other feels the same way, with the same intensity in matters of love?
Love; she shouldn’t use that word, It was wrong to use that word. Love, she thought to her self, was a silly school girl word.
She was no silly school girl mistaking a crush for love, falling in love from mere glances, or smiles from those admired or who gave the slightest attention to her.
She was not that girl; she was a fully grown woman, with desires yes, but definitely not a school girl, at least not any more.
”Hey where are you?” the voice said.
It was Roger.
”You look to be a million miles away.”
She made her eyes move away from Jacob because she didn’t want Roger to see whom she was looking at, didn’t want him to guess what she was feeling or to whom those feelings were directed. She was sure everyone could see if they paused a moment to look.
Roger was the pompous banker’s son who all the girls chased in high school and he was her one mistake when she let him kiss her parked by the lake that August in his father’s Cadillac.
She had left high school went to college and since had come back to help her mom after Dad died.
Roger immediately came on to her, convinced she wanted him, found him irresistible and was determined to overcome her resistance to his charms.
Roger also knew that his father’s bank held the mortgage to the farm and could call the loan at any time.
He had a plan about her, Sara thought, thinking he could dally with her, get in her pants, wife or no wife because if she didn’t “come across” he had threatened, he would be able to talk his father into foreclosing and that would be a "pity."
She knew he would carry that threat out. He had done that many times to others in that town.
She gave him an iceberg look and turned away.
“Oh,” she could hear him say, “remember Sara, sooner or later I always get what I go after.”
It was true . Roger had gone after many of the ladies in the room, married and unmarried and had, according to rumor, had some of them.
But, he would never have her, she promised herself.