Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Jeanne Miller, iRichard Tscherne, iHugh McCracken, iKH LeMoyne, iBeverly Scott, iNancy Jardine, iOwen Thomas, i

  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Donna Hale Chandler

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· Poetry
· Stories
· 100 Titles
· 538 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Jan, 2010

Donna Hale Chandler, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
Relationship Magic--- God only Knows
by Tuchy (Carl) Palmieri

No man is an island. What is life without relationships? It is often the case that relationships cause us the most pain. Relationship magic helps increase joy and minimiz..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Books by Donna Hale Chandler
By Donna Hale Chandler
Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Rated "G" by the Author.

Share    Print  Save   Follow

Recent stories by Donna Hale Chandler
· Brain Surgery for a Headache?
· My Granny
· The Stolen Car
· To Switch or Not To Switch, That is the Question
· The Joy of Buying Your First Home
· Get a Real Job, Scammer
           >> View all 39

Dating as a 'senior' may be different than it was when we were teenagers, but it is just as nerve wracking.



No, I'm not talking about my first date as a teenager.  My teen years were a VERY long time ago.  I'm talking about my first date as a senior citizen.  I know, that's a scary thought.  My 'second' first date was even more terrifying than my 'first' first date.
Almost two years after the death of my husband, I decided to be brave and registeron-line with one of those 'dating sites.'  They're supposed to be able to find your perfect match.  I wasn't looking for a replacement for my husband. I was simply looking for a gentleman with whom I could occasionally have dinner or maybe with whom I could go out dancing. Basically, I was looking for someone to make me laugh every once in a while.
For quite a while, I was pretty leery about the males that contacted me. But finally I agreed to meet "Jack" for dinner.  I was an absolute nervous wreck.  Was I going to meet an ax murderer?  I told everyone that I knew where I'd be, in case I disappeared, they'd know where to start the search.
It was August in Florida and if you haven't been to Florida in August, just imagine the hottest day you can and then make it 20 degrees hotter.
There was a car show in a nearby town.  We roamed along the streets looking at old cars until I thought I'd surely die of heat stroke.  Finally he suggested that we find a place for dinner, which certainly sounded like a grand idea to me.  As long as there was air conditioning and a place to sit down, I was agreeable.
The restaurant that he chose was very nice. They even had real flowers in bud vases on the table and cloth napkins (which of course always says 'classy joint') and it was especially crowded.  Evidently we weren't the only ones trying to find a cool place for an hour or so.  We were seated at a small table for two by the window.  The waiter took our order and we quietly sat there staring into space hoping our food would arrive soon.  We'd each pretty much run out of small talk and as the silence lengthened, my nervousness increased considerably.
Finally our meal was brought to our table.  I reached for my glass of Diet Coke to add some moisture to my dry throat just as I heard Jack say, "I'm looking for a wife.  Are you looking for a husband?"  There's nothing quite like getting right to the point.  I guess he was thinking that at our ages, we don't have time to wait around for long.
I'm sure it must have been some sort of a spasm, but the next few minutes aren't very clear in my mind. It was very much like one of those old episodes of I Love Lucy.First,  I dropped my drink into my lap, soaking my nice white shorts.  The instant thatcold liquid hit my legs, I leaped up from my seat.  This jostled the table and sent his glass of sweet iced tea crashing to the floor, where it broke into hundreds of pieces and sent sticky tea flying in all directions.
Was I finished with my destructionat this point?  No, I was not!  As I grabbed for one of those nice cloth napkins, I knocked over the bud vase that sat in the middle of the table, spilling icky daisy water into Jack's plate. 
The entire restaurant instantly was as quiet as church as patrons craned their necks to see what the crazy lady over by the window was doing.  Staff came running from all directions, one with a mop, one with a broom for the broken glass, one to usher us away from the destroyed table to a clean dry one on the other side of the restaurant and the rest just to 'appear' to be helpful.
I was so embarrassed that I had yet to speak.  Finally when conversation was once again buzzing around us and the employees had returned to their regular duties, I raised my head to see if Jack was still there.  I fully expected that during the confusion he had taken the opportunity to distance himself from this insane lady by fleeing the scene.
Surprisingly he was still there. I couldn't read the expression on his face, and I seemed to have lost the ability to speak.  He calmly picked up his fork and  said was, "Well, I think I'll take that as a no."
We actually had a nice meal and each went to our separate homes.  Strangest thing, though, I never did get another dinner invitation from Jack.  And it was quite a while before I got up the courage to try this dating business one more time. 
I just might not survive a THIRD first date.

© copyright Donna Hale Chandler



Author of:
Co-Author of:



       Web Site: Stop by for a visit: POETICALLY CORRECT

Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Randy Stensaas 6/9/2010
Very good. I can't imagine dating after being married to my bride for the last 35 years. I don't understand why he never called again, that was the kind of date that shows' me that life would be interesting around you.

thanks for the story.

Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. Duped Net: The Big Brawl
3. Poetic Injustice
4. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
5. The DMV Funnies
6. A Man and His Dog
7. Byron Luckipaw, the cat who established th
8. Duped-Net: Undercover Blues
9. A Reluctant Father Christmas
10. Dealing With The Children. ...

The Miracle Man by James Skivington

Miraculous events in a tiny Irish village bring out the best - and worst - in everyone...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

This Can't Be Normal by Diana Estill

Observational humor about family relationships, travel, and marriage...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.