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Yuukon Michigan

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Member Since: May, 2010

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You promised.
By Yuukon Michigan
Tuesday, May 11, 2010

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You were always there.
And you would always be, you said. You promised me you'd always be.

I still remember the day you said you wouldn't forget the promise you made to me. You would carry it with you, where ever you would go to. You said you'd put it into the huge bag on your shoulders, the bag only you could see. I always wondered how you could carry another bag on the same shoulders, without getting hurt. I wondered how you were able to carry two heavy bags, without even telling me how heavy it was. And I wondered how you could carry me on your shoulders with that bag right underneath me. It must have been heavy, very heavy.
And yet, I still wonder how you did.

But when I asked, you'd never answer. You'd never answered a question about yourself, I had to figure it all out myself. That's how I got to know you. By observing you, and listening at the words which you pressed out through your teeth and whistling past your lips.

And when you asked, I just said it was like you'd eaten nails and left the rust coated on your chin, so the evidence you did was be all over your face and staining your thumbs when you wiped it away. It was so obvious you weren't happy, even if you pretended to be. And yet I know, you always did, but you never were, because I could see every smile you made was a mask to cover your pain.

You made me a promise you would never break, you said. You said that twice every week, you told me you would always be there. Always.
But even though you'd promised you would never break the promise, you did. And at the same moment, you broke my heart.

You've gone astray, suddenly, without any preparation. I've always felt lonely, even though you were there. And so did you, I'm aware of that. You never told, but I could see. Your eyes had lost all of their glance and the wonderfull sparkles once in it were gone. But you have to know loneliness cannot be healed by separation. It'll make it even worse.


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